ok besides the fact that it is a scorching 34 degrees out i'm really really envying ness with the 7 degree temp she's having right now. the worst thing is it's only gonna get worse and how the hell am i to study in such heat? then again i realise that i mostly do all my studying late at night so the question should be how the hell am i gonna sleep and go to uni with such blistering temperatures??!!?

i'm really praying very hard that ed can visit me in sydney right after my exams but the earliest he can pop by is 14th when i'm being evicted from college on the 17th. so maybe i can extend my stay for another week and it'll be all fun and happy when he's here going crazy eating with me =)

i'm gonna miss sydney uni and newtown food area and my room and being a senior. sigh.

just finished a pretty crappy counselling test. alan craddock should have questions that assess you on the practical usage of counselling skills. like write what you would say to someone who .... lalalala. then defend your answer. that would be fun and dandy. fortunately we're the last batch of communication and counselling kiddos, heard from claire that the replacement unit of study is health psychology.

boring.

but as long as i'm not doing it. that's fine with me.
12:13

the past 3 days have been very hard for me to say the least.
after swinging on the pendulum between overwhelming sadness, regret, immense sorrow, self directed anger and the numbness, i've tried pulling myself together but it's been so difficult.
getting out of bed was a chore. this morning when i woke up, for a fleeting moment i thought, aw damn it i'm alive, now i have to face another day of living heartache. then i proceeded to just lie in bed wishing that everything would just end.
i've got 11 more days to get over the urge to burst into tears during lectures if not the overliberal DSM IV would have me diagnosed with clinical depression. i'm all listless, and when i blank out during feeble attempts at studying, it's quite startling to discover that they are almost for an hour at a time. so before i knew it my weekend was gone, just like that. in a hazy of conflicting and compounding feelings.
i'm so tired yet i can't sleep, but i forced myself to get out of bed to cheer myself up even if i was not gonna be productive at all.
so lugged myself down to newtown to just get myself surrounded by books. books, museum, flowers, happy novelty items usually hit the spot in the lifting my spirirts department. even if only for a short while. but it's better than nothing.

in my hazy state i was inexplicably drawn to the florist, it was so beautiful and calming to be enveloped by lush colourful lively flowers. it was then i decided that i should get a potted plant to keep me company, just because i'm single, doesn't mean i have to be alone. potted flowers always bring me the fond memory of my grand dad gardening and the afternoons where we would spend in the brilliant sunshine. so it was some comfort and solace in getting a simple white cyclamen plant.
the more vibrant coloured ones seemed somewhat vulgar in contrast to my current mood, so an elegant white flowering plant was just the thing. the smooth unblemished pristine white petals just demanding so much delicate love and handling. it's a small consolation for me to channel those very same affectionate actions to.

i can barely keep my thoughts in a coherent fashion. so tired but when i'm in bed, just thoughts of being alone and knowing that i probably did lose "the one" due to my wistful folly, keep me awake.
my mind can be so cruel, unintentionally i'm hoping. cause i don't know how much more of all our quiet heartfelt domestic or intimate moments being replayed in my dreams, then having nightmarish scenes of distorted reality spliced into the scene, causing me to jerk awake and being deprived of the ability to drift back into peaceful sleep.

i'm really sorry kitty. i really do hope we can work things out.
21:36

ok it's friday (ie day 6) and still no smses or calls or anything. still no idea what he's playing at.
like i started off with last entry i've had plenty of time to think about it then i came up with a possible explaination into his behaviour.

despite him citing that he wants everything to work out in the long term he has major reservations about the situation in 3 years time with balancing airforce training, me, our relationship and that big gapping hole.
he constantly brings it up over and over and over and over again, to the point of sounding like a skipping record, the all possible (and also improbably) permutations and combinations featuring the what ifs of those said factors.
so much so that he's unconsciously starting to act on the uncertainty of the situational factors.
by trying to assert whatever last remaining vestige of control he perceives himself to possess on the only factor he has any say in. our relationship.

so now he's unconsciously (or perhaps i give him too much credit) working on/against our relationship knowing full well that whenever there is silence (hence perceived distance) between us for long periods of time i start getting numb. God, learning and behaviour principles really are the basis of our actions. so now without any reinforcement of contact between us, my conditioned responses of being optimistic and feelings towards about our relationship is being slowly and (very sadly) surely extinguished.
and he knows that. so he's using that against me.

the whole communication silence if done intentionally is quite possibly one of the most dispicable things he could inflict. just the long silence reminds drudges up old unwanted memories of having to endure months of hanging onto a thread with no emails, no smses, no messages, nothing, all at the time when i was at my most vulnerable emotionally.



i reckon he wants me to initate some sort of invitation for an 'open relationship'.
why do i think this way you ask?

many reasons,
firstly he's been criticisizing and bringing up the shortcomings of vann's relationship saying that she's incapable of emotional consideration for others only thinking of herself otherwise why would she date the sad sod of her current squeeze just for her own emotional gratification of having a boyfriend but (not so) secretly pining for her ex. while the sad bugger continues to blindly pursue a one sided love relationship.
bringing vann up once or twice is alright but not almost every fifth conversation. not only that but his constant whinges of how airforce pilots always break up with their girlfriends, blah blah we won't be an exception, blah blah blah, even the guy who has been in a 4 year relationship couldn't avoid the curse, blah blah blah blah blah.
all this inspite of all my heartfelt reassurances that we'll work out.
so it's very clear that his resistance to even consider that there is truth in my reassurances reflects his own unconscious wish for him to be single so he can start fulfilling all his short term gratification.


just surpised that it took me so long to see that.

so his repressed thoughts start manifesting themselves in his petulant stance in not wanting to call or make contact for a long enough time so that i start feeling desensitized to our relationship then hopefully retailate to his behaviour and getting all worked up with my reknowned temper then in the process give him what he wants. an open invitation for an open relationship.
which is one hell of a selfish thing cause i'm not going to bend over and let myself get screwed if that's the case.

i know it's all sweet, romantic, wistful, sentimental waiting for your sweetheart at the end of the day then spending the rest of your lives with them. but it's superficial and quite frankly insulting when they pretend to be all magnanimous and say oh here's permission to see someone else, knowing that their property (ie you) are all safe knowing full well that you won't go off galavanting with randoms upon receving the open invite while they take the advantage.
it's bloody hypocritical and double standard at it's best (or worst, whichever way you look at it).

cause it is within my character to cut off the nose to spite the face. i'll regret it later on but the pull of self destructive satisfaction of my actions at that moment is always there to egg me on.

so hopefully i pray that the above thoughts are just over channelling stupid freudian psychoanalysis. but i have a nagging suspicion that it isn't the case.

please tell me i'm wrong
18:07

last entry was pretty bleah come to think of it.. in short it's basically the annoying nagging voice that pops into my head whenever i'm having doubts about me, about my relationship and what is expected of me. and it also emerges when i'm jaded and annoyed with you know who you are.
but anyway that mindset is more the exception than my normal mindset of being optimistic, thinking and hoping like hell that everything works out.
minus the time i spend thinking "i really should be doing stats" (but right now i'm having this mild headache which i reckon comes from breathing all the fumes from long periods of colouring with permanent markers)
i just had quite a while to think this week with 4 days of not hearing a squeak from him. still a mystery why that's so. by yesterday morning i was thinking he better be dead or dying otherwise he doesn't have a good enough reason not to have made contact for so long. *shifty eye look* i know he's alive cause he's blatantly using facebook to mutual friends so it pops up in my mini feed. so now i'm extremely suss.
asked sammy on her opinion on that, she agrees it's weird but in spite of our usually very creative and productive brainstorming we couldn't churn out any plausible reasons for such behaviour. i really don't know what he's playing at and it used to bug me but now i'm pretty much getting over it.
15:05

quite possibly for the very first time i truly feel like a responsible older sister to derek. last night i was helping him sort through possible subject combinations figuring it out with the subjects he likes, his strength and weaknesses.
it was quite a thrilling experience to be a good role model for derek.
it was also very sweet and exciting when he was sharing personal things about himself and his current love life. for a moment there i was thinking in my head hey wait, at sec 2 aren't you a bit young to pursuing a relationship? then i remembered that i was only a year older than him when i started one, which at that point i didn't really know the extent of how serious it would turn out. well 5 years since then i'm still in that very relationship.
somehow reflecting upon it, my first (read:only) relationship being 5 years and still going really does hold alot of implications for further personal dev several years down the road. if it doesn't work out, i'm stuffed to put it nicely.
with the said relationship being the template for future ones (if any) it's gonna be very hard to deviate from the mold, which agrees with my mom's view on this current relationship and scarily enough despite my mom's relational advice being whacked, it's actually extremely intuitive as nessy and i discovered.
but like she advised ness using me as an example, i'm really limiting myself to other choices which surely enough would ring through if everything doesn't work out.
man that's really intimidating just thinking about it.

anyhoo i'm going to get ready for class now. i'll continue this rambly bit later
08:14

got this amazingly wonderful email from derek. such a great email that i have to share it.
really heartfelt hilarious way that describes my brother... as you can see bad spelling runs in the family.

mom ask me to type as im her hired secretary , she just came back from holy hour and is full of delicious items. she so cheap only da BAo 4 dumpling for me, so called my favourite . SO CHEAP!!! and never even get more!!!!
ness spent her bday out , breakfast dad , lunch friend and night for some gym concerthingy of dooom!!!

timothy ,theodores bro ,mathhews son and old 7am mass alter server , just in case u dunno him, quit RAF(royal air force)apparently they gave him a choice , he said that training was tough and laborious and ended up wating mageemee all the time and hes goin to australia to study (uwa) and may most probaly join sia (accept them only 25 years old).

thats all for now shes overbloated bein her usual piggy gluttony self. and me goin regatta tmr .
thank you for tuning into BBC news. pls watch us at 10 tmr to get updates on reggatta results.
and moms bein lame at the moment making me call bbc ddc , somnrthin like derek dad news or dead derek broadcasting
. sooooooooooooo laaaaaaammmmmmmeeeeeeee!!!!
and wiwi forever!!


fantastic email isn't it? i just adore him.
01:11

awww one of the sweetest and more sincere things i've ever heard from ed.

don't lose any weight alright? cause that's the way i love you for who you are.
02:53

i saw the promo for the new catherine zeta jones movie 'no reservations' i felt a pang of sadness cause that's not only the title of anthony bourdain's show it's a movie bout 2 chefs going at it in the mad world of upper class resturants and falling in love. then i recalled that i was hoping so badly that the movie would be out when i was back then ness and i could go watch it together since we quite often watch cooking shows together and it's nice to bond over girl flicks.

also realised that ness and i haven't gone out for a movie together. ever before. been with derek for dodgeball and fantastic four. and it was amazing how we irritated the hell out of ness by quoting our fave line of 'if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball'.

oh! at least all three of us now have a special 'line' of kelso nailing your sister!

it's very strange that after 3.5 years of being in australia alone away from home, that i only really truly insanely miss my sister. it's like homesickness on delayed, make that very delayed timer. reckon it's cause this time round not only were we thick as thick thieves, it's the realisation that during christmas when i'm back, there would be this void of ness since she's in wisconsin!
i'm so upset just thinking bout that, so now i'm even more tempted to take up jen's catering job. i know that it's gonna pay really well. i'm guessing at least 400 for a day's work. probably more for me cause (not to blow my own horn, but i'll prob have a larger than average role in jen's kitchen/serving team)
all the money including tips from this catering job would go into the ''plane ticket for ness to come home during christmas cause it's means alot to her and the rest of the family'' fund.

just think of all the pain she would be going through, it's her first time alone in a foreign country and teamed with the holiday season which is so cruel for those alone, it's a concoction of instant and painful heartache. and i don't want that to happen to ness. if you know her chracter, it's not a healthy prognosis.

so yes, i'm missing ness insanely right now. to comfort myself i say stare mindlessly into 'my aquarium' and 'my garden'
02:37

ok like i told ness 2 mins ago i'm dedicating this blog entry to julian.

i can already hear ed going.. 'lose respect'. but that's not the point.

called ness a few hours back interupting her desperate housewives, and she told me one of the most hilarious stories.

julian had called her only moments before and told her that when he was done smoking he chucked the ciggie butt on the ground, then he was caught by a police officer and told he would be slapped with a $200 fine for littering.

my natural response was to laugh her, (ness was stronger she managed to supress her laughter)

and so to evade forking out 200 he bolted.
and as fate would have it there was a whole bunch of policemen hanging around the area. and off they went in hot pursuit and finally one tackled him to the ground.

laughter elicited from me again. at this point ness couldn't not laugh.

and so now he has to face charges in court for resisting arrest and assaulting an officer.

more laughter from the both of us. and julian got upset that ness laughed.

but seriously, isn't that the natural response?

man he really truly is CMI.
02:12

after going through all my learning material i thought to myself hey, i quite really like learning. it's straightforward and wow, there's actually a good chance i might get around a credit overall. (taking into account for my essay i'm starting like with a minus -20.)

but after the most gay exam in the history of pscyh exams. i'll be extremely glad to just pass.

horrid short answer questions were like.

what was pavlov's greatest acheivenments and how did it influence western psychology!!!!!!
seriously the last time i checked i was doing a course on learning and behaviour, not tribute orbituary writing 101. man i really adore you bob boakes, but WHAT THE HELL! SERIOUSLY! i had to write so much bullshit, it wasn't even good bullshit. so gonna fail. ARGH!! apparently was writing so furiously and exerting great pressure on my hand that i had paper friction burn (it's like carpet burn but on your hand from paper) which only really kicked in once the chief invigilator declared pens down and all the adrenaline went WHOOSH! right out of my system.


haha but i did like all the gags that ian NEVILLE johnston put in. got a couple of laughs from that. he's so random. he's great. awww i'm reminded of my really smart rat cause of him. such a lovely tutor. i really do feel bad for justin harris. he must think i hate him as a tutor or something that's why i'm rarely at his tutes.
but i've good reasons!
- one was cause it was my birthday and nise had specially come down to my campus to meet up! aww. she's such a darling.
- another was cause of the evil bout of food poisoning i had from that wretched pasta sauce. (ok ok food aversion i should know better than attribute it like that but that's learning principles for you)
- after kinda shredding my achilles heel on sunday night, my entire foot was swollen by morning cause i didn't elevate it when i was sleeping.
- i usually miss mondays cause on sundays out of little choice i had to consume the MSG laden slabs of ick meat which i've just discovered i've developed sensitivity to it with food allergies. so monday mornings my queasy gastrotract is hating me for it.

so it's not that i have anything against him, i really don't. i think he's a lovely tutor. it's just that the circumstances don't permit me to attend his classes.
07:59

happy birthday kitty!
07:58

YAY! gotten my tom jones 'help yourself' cd.

the title track is one of my all time tom jones fave, along with she's a lady, it's not unusual, burning down the house (with the cardigans) and sexbomb.

remembered as a child, i watched a show, i think it was the tom jones show, where he was dancing and singing she's a lady which why i really have this strange not so secret shame for his music.
but somehow, tom jones is right at home with my musical taste of dean martin, frank sinatra, ok a1 is incongruent to everything but it's still pivotal part of my music preferences.
man i'm really itchy right now, stupid muddy puddle water. going off to scratch till it bleeds or till it's less itchy, whichever comes first.

I WANT A SWAN LAKE TICKET!!!!!
15:29

ok i can't believe that stupid jerk argued with me about MY food allergies.
seriously what the hell.
but i must admit that i was wrong, of course you know what i'm allergic to. not me. that would be silly for me to be aware of my OWN FREAKING food allergies.

bitch.

seriously no one likes you, even your friends turn around and apologise for your behaviour then later confide that they really can't stand you. so deal with it.
03:26

i'm slouched all over the chair in the computer room, famished from the lack of red meat for the past 2 and a half weeks. pretty much convinced that my haemoglobin blood count has plummeted since. it's a combination of me avoiding the MSG laced meat slabs (not said in tender affectionate typical sandra way of saying slabs of meat) and the lack of any decent red meat around here. NOT EVEN VEAL for crying out loud. it's deprivation of basic liberties! how can i be parted from my red meat! HOW CAN I!
*wails*

been craving pasta as usual, i want full on traditional or close to traditional italian done pasta. sancta pasta has killed pasta for me. frank's should start making pasta like a good rich smokey based infused creamy carbonara or aglio oli, or neopolitian, or something!! I WANT PASTA!
and also on the side a gorgeous slab of red bloody marbled steak, oh wagyu burger! oh wagyu burger! neil perry i beeseech you, please open a grill style rockpool in sydney (at the melbourne prices of course) and i PROMISE YOU, swear on all pasta holy that i would go there every fortnight provided it's near me. OH PLEASE I BEG OF YOU! i will even cook in your kitchen for you! i'll pry christie's oysters with my bare hands instead of shucking them open. PLEASE! please please please please.

oh wait, isn't jen on leave today???? good i'll drag her to the courtyard cafe for my white truffles then off to leicdhart for the most marvellous pizza known to man. but then i have the sneaking suspicion that she's off with simon so my plans are mostly well just plans, nowhere close to reality.

so plan B. (B now representing bloody red steak, mmmm)
i reckon pho noodles down at newtown isn't too bad an option, 15 for 2 rather massive bowls. otherwise there's no red meat option down at newtown, unless you count tapas which is the biggest rip off since.. well people ripping off clothes from the racks during stella launch at target. i could go down to meat & wine, give them another chance to salvage their steaks. but that's like 32 not including bus fare. which is alot to gamble on meat & wine.

ah crud, where can i get good steaks in sydney!!!!!! maybe coogee, oh goodness the mash was beyond anything..

i just realise that i'm just typing anything that comes straight out of my head, thus the incoherent babling to myself. ok i'm off now, going to spend the next 10 mins googling steak places close by and then take a 3 hour nap before touching up my super shit assignment which i've long given up hope on.
02:44

random: bob boakes has such a nice soft lilting english accent that i try hard not to drift off during lectures just so i can concentrate on his voice rather than the boring as evil evil hell learning material.
03:03

in light of the whole underage drinking spike in hollywood, i was flipping through the legal drinking age of different countries. with 18 being the norm.
however imagine my surprise when i discovered that the minimum drinking AND purchasing age in italy was 14!
i expected it to be 16 considering the country's love for wine and food (my assumption wasn't off with france clocking in 16)

but 14! wowser.

it's also amusing to note that in isle of man the minimum drinking age is.. 5!
it was stated that in the UK it's illegal to give a child under 5 alcohol unless it is for medical purposes or in emergencies. WHAT??

have absolutely no idea as to what would constitute an emergency to be giving such a young child alcohol! sobering up is NOT one of them jen. but seriously what medical purpose would require you giving the child alcohol.

the world is so weird.
03:53

so here's the lowdown on my last patrizio concert the 28th.

patrizio recounted what had happened during his melbourne performance (either the 13th or 14th of may), he met the children he had up on stage to accompany him to l'italiano last year, later he was pulled aside by the children's grandmother and was told that the father of one child, carla was involved in an accident and passed away on the 11th, just several days before. her father and her were passionate fans of patrizio and she requested un angelo to be played at his funeral cause she 'believes in angels'.

he continued stating how difficult it was for him to express his emotions of grief, deep sorrow and admiration for her, being a small child of around 10 losing her father so suddenly, unexpectedly and before his concert which they were looking forward to.
he felt her pain having lost his beloved father to virulent cancer at the age of 17.
so he called her up to the stagehe and proceeded to dedicate un angelo (the italian version of robbie william's angels) to carla's father , pulling up the bar stool for her to sit while he gave the most genuine heartfelt passionate rendition of un angelo, all the while you could see carla wiping her tears away with her sleeve. patrizio just pressing her head to his chest and stroking her hair, hugging her whenever tears started streaming down.
i too was on the verge of tears knowing that while he was singing that song, he was closing his eyes envisioning his father, and feeling him near - the reason as to why he's doing what he's doing.
it's all for his father.

with the deep baritone voice hauntingly fills the air, i could just imagine that for carla, her father was there with her too. it was easily the most honest and heart wrenching thing i've ever witnessed.

after the last notes faded into the heavy atmosphere, he knelt down and hugged her so tight whispering words of comfort while she was crying on his shoulder, my heart really went out to her having seen her small body heave with her violent sobbing.

the appaluse resounded, with the audience sniffing and wiping away their own tears.

his stage presence and the emotions, the soul he puts behind his music is so amazing that he could move the audience to tears. for several songs after that the mood was rather sombre, might as well since it was followed by the rather smary duet of let's make love. (phil groaned when she heard the song's title, i honestly can't blame her. i cringed when silvie paladino came out on stage and proceeded with googling eyes and even more smary touchy feely happenings going on stage to accompany the lyrics. ick)

so anyway, i scoffed at the fans waiting at the backstage carpark exit, hearing the fans hypothesize what sort of car he'll come out in. i just waited at the reception area, not out in the cold as the mindless fans did. and why?

2 main logical reasons why i didn't join them in their outdoor vigil by the carpark exit.

it's the last night of his show people.

so obviously he'll be packing up, changing, resting, talking to the australian stage crew, thanking whoever, saying fareweels, exchanging contacts and getting ready so it'll be at least an hour after the end of his show before he leaves the theatre. so no point waiting out in the cold for nothing.

another reason is that he wouldn't be driven out in some fancy black mercedes benz or bmw with tinted windows. he's such a down to earth guy, i imagine rather egalitarian with his upbringing and he'll most likely join his band in the charterted vans, so they would have more time to talk anyway.

so it was quite sad to see 40 year old women with more combined botox in their faces than would make an entire barbie doll, chase after every tall dark guy that exited the building clad in a dark suit.
so after being asked to leave the theatre i popped over to the sofitel hotel lounge for a bit to wait out the next hour. after which i went to the main equipement loading exit and waited patiently for patrizio's arrival.

chatted with some of his band members, the percussion guy was quite charming talking about travelling the world and he was about to get more into how he started the percussions when out of the corner of my eye, a tall dark and very handsome figure clad in a white 'dinner-esqe' jacket came out talking to 2 other men. and my first response was to gap like a goldfish out of water repeating mindlessly OMG OH MMMY GOD... *squeaking out*
patrizio!
then then walking as far as my trembling legs would bring me, i joined the other 3 fans who had waited it out. there was a young couple around 26ish, the girl was called natalie, didn't catch the guy's name and the other lady approximately late 30s-early 40s was caprice who worked at iceberg at bondi junction it's a celebrity hangout place in sydney. he greeted caprice with a polite hello, then nodded at natalie then leaned forward pulling me in for a hug and a KISS ON THE CHEEK. MY GOD!

once more i was reduced to my gaping mess. caprice pulled him towards her, pressing her namecard into his open palm. i have the photo of that actually, and you can clearly see HIS mouth gaping. haha. his expression was one of total shock and bewildered at having met someone so forward. man she makes me seem like a wilting shrking wallflower.

so anyhoo i told him that i went to every single one of his sydney concerts, to which with opened eyed amazement said. that's ALOT of money in that gorgeous italian golden voice of his. to which i reply. well that's alot of love.
we chatted for about another minute or so, the minutes floating by in a surreal haze.

my feelings at that moment could be very well summed up in..

volare, oh oh, e cantare, woah oh oh oh.
no wonder my happy heart sings.
your love has given in wings.
nel blu di pinto di blue.

ha. but meeting him it was like seriously meeting with dean martin, frank sinatra and young elvis all in one package. so it was somehow like another childhood aspiration come true being able to meet my music idols. ok maybe elvis is more a on and off, recent addition joing the ranks of sinatra and dino 4 years ago.

then again i oly started getting really into dino and frank when i was around 11-12 so that's only 4 years more on elvis.

i'll put the pictures up whenever i get them off phil's camera. i really should get started on my evil thing called learning, man that totally ruined the wonderful fuzzy feeling i got from recalling monday. yay! i now love monday nights.

let's see in general
i love monday nights.
tuesday afternoons.
wednesday nights.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE thursdays. cause of long days and it usually marks the day before assignments are due.
love fridays cause i get them off.
love saturdays till evening
love sunday mornings
hate sunday evening cause they represent the end of the weekend =(

ok i've totally veered off course. as usual. so now i'm going to get at least 300 words done for my essay then hit the sack. althought you and i very well know, no studying is gonna get done.
01:52

I HATE MYSELF.

today when i met patrizio, i had planned several things to say to him

buongiorno mi ciamo sandra. mi ho piaceto tuo concerto leri sera. (italian: good morning/hi, i'm sandra and i really enjoyed your concert last night)
i've been to ALL your sydney concerts last year and the past 2 nights. i'll see you again tmr night.

but nooooooooooooooooooooo
i had to be so awe struck in his presence that i totally clammed up. and could only take in his good looks. it was so surreal. man even when i met a1 at my insane peak, and got a kiss from both paul and christian, i could still chat away with them.
but patrizio, i just stood there speechless. ARGH NOW YOU SEE WHY I HATE MYSELF

OH OH i dropped my hairband and he picked it up for me!!!!!!!
i'm never gonna wash that hairband ever again.


14:56

i so so so so so so so shouldn't have done learning.
several reasons

1. i had an anxiety attack this morning about it.
2. i did extremely miserably at the learning report last year
3. for the exam i spent most of my studying on the NON learning bits of the unit
4. when i was sick and couldn't go to lectures, i was so lost in the next lectures

now the points pertaining to patrizio

5. it put a dampener on my patrizio concerts enjoyment
6. i KNOW he's going for the sydney italian festival which i had planned on going before i found out about his attendence. ok so here's what i've gathered.
tonight (27th). possibly resting from back to back performances and his voice sounded really hoarse at the autograph signing today. poor love.
mon (28th) concert again. =)
thurs (31st) performance at wellington
sat (2nd june) auckland
sun (3rd june) back in sydney for serate con sophia. the special uber exclusive gala black tie dinner with sophia loren as guest of honour. and he's performing. man if only i had the money to burn.

ok so basically if there's any night he would go it would either be tonight or tues night. but now i can't go and turn up to leichhardt which is so close to where i am right now cause of stupid learning which is due on friday. MAN! stupid learning.
have i mentioned how much i hate learning and i'm very convinced i'm gonna fail it.

man i'm depressed, i'll go have some lasagne and later pop over to gelatomassi for vanilla chip gelato later.
even i don't think they'll stock vanilla chip tonight =(

everything is going wrong for me this week!!
14:19

tsk tsk, shameful that locals don't know where martin place is. i've been living in sydney for the past 3 and a half years and even IIIII know where the sunrise building is.

for all those ignorant people (the opposite of la dolce vita) sunrise building is at the corner of martin place and castlereagh. gosh!
he'll be doing autograph signing and i'm extremely tempted to go even if it's at 10 ON A SUNDAY MORNING! does he not know that it is a sleep in day??

but who am i to say when my own parents drag us out of bed to attend 7AM sunday mass.
well he is roman catholic (i'm assuming he is cause i saw him made the sign of the cross, and come on the biggest catholic population in the world is in italy!)
anyhoo the catholics have this whole guilt trip going on, and also enduring torture for your religion. awww i miss john paul.. ok that was VERY random. but i was talking about how much friendlier and loving he is as a pope compared to the current one. ok kudos for him for bringing back masses in latin.

i know i'll be going to church .. religiously (HAHA) if it's in latin.

YAY for latin masses. and boo to having to wake up early to get an autograph. but i'm hardcore and he's so swoon worthy! OMG i'm still trembling over his voice. oh gosh.

anyway ok here's the plan.

wake up at 810, get ready
825 - 840brekkie (beg merci to let me have brekkie earlier. if not there's always tmr anyway damn college photo)
840-855 wait for the bus
920 latest i reach martin place then start walking towards sunrise building. oh wait.. don't think that's enough time! there's sure to be a queue. but i'll pray for the best.

assuming i get lost. which i have this sinking feeling i will but i know martin place pretty well so doubt that's the case. so maybe about 930 start waiting in line. better load up more music onto my player to keep me entertained. i'm patient. so that's alright.

then get back to college 1 the latest. have lunch then go and start learning. so not looking forward to that. but i've little choice.

if i'm gonna be waiting that long better have more things to sign. well i've got an unsigned first album. and this year's programme. ARGH left my forever begins tonight at home!!!!!!!

was considering buying another one but the state was selling it almost twice the price at HMV. so i've only 2 things for him to sign. oh wait, i also left my DVD at home!!

what is wrong with you sandra!!!!

so i've only got 2 items, and maybe my ticket from last night. it would be so cool if i presented him with tickets from last year. proof i've attended all his sydney concerts!!
but once again i maintain that i love and adore him for his music and talent and not so much his dark gorgeous looks.

ok i better stop and get ready for bed if i'm to be up at the unearthly hour tmr.

ciao!
22:21

things i would like to accomplish before i die.

1. be the inspiration, muse, for the most beautiful riveting heartfelt poetic possibly bittersweet songs. basically i want to be the patti boyd-harrison/boyd-clapton of today. for those unaware of her, she was the inspiration for several monumental love songs, harrison's something (the 2nd most covered beatles song behind yesterday) and more notably's clapton's layla and wonderful tonight. also pretty blue eyes, golden ring, never make you cry and pretty girl.

or more modern counterparts could be the difference by matchbox 20.
or like dean martin's everybody loves somebody. or the way you look tonight. or have i told you lately. oh ha! maybe she's a lady too! robbie's angels.
or the more obscure malafemmena or na sera e' maggio (an evening in may).

the song doesn't have to be about me but it would be nice if that were the case :)
i might have to draw the line at angsty hate filled songs screaming and swearing that i'm a motherfreakin' bitch, user and abuser of men, bane to mankind unless done in very poetic poignant context like i had broken your heart into pieces so small and left you incapable to love anyone else since no other woman's love is anywhere comparable to mine, i'm just OOOOHHHH SO bad for you, but you can't help it. my love's a life source for you, and even now whilst suffering withdrawl symptons from my dangerous but umm powerful lovin' you still think and lament that i'm your goddess..
that sort of thing haha

2a. be a museum curator that's my ideal dream job
2b. have my work displayed sigh if only i had half the talent or even drive of carly casey hammond.

3. speaking of which, having a very quiet intimate artwork done of me, the ideal one would be like the above paintings, or just a simple black and white of me sleeping, gorgeous tousled hair, sunlight streaming in creating the perfect lighting etc. something that captures me, it's not so much for ego, but rather something to reminse fondly over, to be startled everytime at the simplicity the beauty of that one moment.

4. have a whirlwind romance preferably in Italy, oh lake como! oh grand canals of Venice in a pleasure yacht! oh quaint charming cobbled alleyways! oh ancient ruins of Rome! be still my heart! be still!

5. be totally surprised with something insanely romantic that even writers/producers/directors of all time soppy love movies couldn't think of anything to top that off.. high expectations i know but a girl needs to be swept off her feet (if in need of inspiration, the facebook group is a very good start) and treated like a princess, his princess, once in a while. it's quite hopeless that i'm such a die hard romantic, every passionate stolen moments.

malafemmena.. wistful lovely sigh.

speaking of being swept off your feet.



6. eat at all the best resturants in the world. going by the 2005 best list, i can knock rockpool off

7. travel to every of my dream countries earth and let me immerse myself in their pure unadulterated unamericanised culture, like a local! wish there were no language bounderies or money limitations for that matter!
7b. travel the world by fancy train, like the trans siberian or oriental expresses, or via ship with louis vuitton trunks (which very sadly cost 40 grand each =( )

8. go to every famous museum in the world that houses the impressionist and post impressionists
8b. attend swan lake ballet.

9. have a wonderful family life, with loving husband and of course a child of my own in a lovely house with pretty pets. (told you i was clucky and nesting)

lastly, make my parents proud.
03:56

it's bad enough that i'm surrounded by people with nice defined features, large eyes, good side profile. basically people who are so much better looking than me.

once more you just had to highlight my insecurities about myself, my terrible complexion for one or do you know how much i resist wanting to go to the toilet and throw up everytime i feel fat (which is most of the time) but then i have this image of myself crying screaming out 'don't you know i hate having the disorder i'm supposed to be treating!!' which is very effective at discouraging me from picking up bulimia.

or times when i forgo spending money on something pretty or something i want just so i can save up for cosmetic surgery whenever phil makes comments about my 'chinky eyes'.

or times when jen takes swipes about my complexion, or my mom compares mine to ness, i seriously consider taking various hormonal medication inspite of all the side effects esp messing up reproductive system or high chances of depression, or harmful changes to neurotransmitters, all just so i can have a better complexion.

or sometimes i would really wish that i would get involved in a car accident breaking the bones in my face, just so i now would be allowed to get cosmetic surgery for more prominent features. i don't mind the pain. i used to partake in dangerous activites simply to get my face injured so i can get it revamped.

so imagine how i must feel when you bring up stupid dawn yang so wistfully, saying how pretty she now is with her plasticsized, then making me relive the times where i hated myself and started praying so hard for all the above? then for a week i'll sink into an ebb of depression and self loathing, then pull out the folder containing idealised pictures of myself, parts of my face i want reconstructed and the relevant costs, pre and post surgery procedures, and numbers of respective surgeons?

did you know i actually did get the money for eyes and nose job, and actually called a plastic surgeon to arrange a consultation for an operation?

you say you're supportive but when i tell you parts of myself i'm unhappy about and wanting to get surgery, you don't discourage me, instead you to the opposite and suggest areas that i could improve on. which makes me so resentful of how i am right now. learned helplessness comes to mind, cause i know full well my chances to get surgery done is practically zilch, due to my parents, societal pressures or whatever stupid unfair constrains.
throughout the entire conversation i kept wishing you'll reassure me of how i look, saying you're pretty as you are, i love you as you are or don't be silly then bash those cosmetic surgery addicted people or something to dispell all these negative thoughts of myself i have in my head.

but you don't.
23:21

first post of my blog with i did from scratch.

i love you kitty!
muacks!
22:20

anxious.

i've lost all the squealing excitement from anticipating patrizio's concert.
spent slightly more than 500 on the tickets, so now i'm so pressurised to really really REALLY enjoy it.

cause 500 can buy alot
for instance
about one ninth of the cheaper carly casey hammond paintings
the gucci sunglasses i was considering for 410 (before 10% rebate)
the louis vuitton sunglasses.. which comes at the very affordable price tag of 750. *deadpan* yay.
20:57

when asked by phil 2 weeks back to translate ahem.. RI's motto Auspicium Melioris Aevi .
my somewhat educated stab in the dark was hope for a good/better future.

while i was procrastinating today, i googled the english translation.

lo and behold.

hope for a better age.

a ha! my latin isn't shabby at all!
so should have taken latin instead of learning. ick.
21:09

i seriously do believe that i am a strong contender for the title worst person in history. and by worst person i mean go out to hurt someone who loves you so dearly and you're just too bloody deluded with self righteousness to even realise that you're wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. but that's how it is.

eyes are still pretty much raw from crying but i can't complain at all compared to all the shit i've put him through.

just got off the phone at 2, which means midnight singapore time. i don't know how i can live with myself. he has a massive massive test tmr and there i was just torturing him out of sheer uncontrollable vindictiveness, not only depriving him of 2 hours of sleep but whatever good night's rest he can salvage from it.

i'm already racked with guilt and anger at myself for ignorantly defending the rather unsavory behaviours of my friends, once again at his expense, he lost out on gold by a measly second cause of sleep deprivation. how do i live with myself. so now history repeating itself, he might not do as well as he deserves and all cause of me. i've already come to terms that my life would amount to nothing (as i've been told many times throughout my childhood by my mom) but i don't want to drag someone who would definately make a positive impact on the world into the mud with me. tonight when i presented him with the option of out, there was another reason besides 'dead end'. it was that i couldn't live with myself knowing that someone as brilliant as him could lose it all (and is willing to) just to be with me, i just couldn't bring myself to let him make such a mistake. i'm seriously his downfall. (not that i'm trying to give myself more importance). if there's one thing i know about my future, it's that.
seeing how that i always had the propensity to jeopardise his shining future, i just had to do it for his own good. cliched yes, but how true are cliches. if they weren't they would have survived till now.
i rather seem the monster now for breaking his heart, rahter than destroying his entire life. with his heart, he'll get over it and live but you can't fix an entire lifetime. so that part of me was goading me into calling him and presenting him with a way out, cruel now but he would thank me later in life for that. i really hate future uncertainties.

are we really as capable as we think we are when it comes to making big decisions that would affect the life of others?


the conversation was so full of promise, then i had to bring up the whole issue of me wanting to adopt my fourth child. i understand that it's unfair of me to impose something which yes is nobel but turns out to be very selfish and unreasonable when i realised that i'm probably never gonna work or earn enough money to contribute to this child and here i am imposing on ed
hey blah blah blah self righteous rant on why we should adopt, some children would never in their whole lives experience a tenth of the love i so undeservingly receive unconditionally from my parents, and that's one of the main reasons why we should adopt - to give someone a semblence of love that so many firtunate others have experienced.
but i realised that adopting a child would also present itself as a major issue when broken down into dollars and cents - the reality of it all. if i had endless monetary resources at my disposal i would really adopt a child, maybe another.
and i understand that it would be stressful for him to not only work to support a comfortable lifestyle for his family, he has so many obligations.
support his parents, support his family, then children's education and health insurance issues, mortgage, expenses, utility bills..
the whole shebang.

raising a family has never been more stressful and here i am, tho with good intentions i'm just heaping an additional burden on him. if only the world were that simple.

i wasn't being obnoxious when i declared catholicism to be more of a structured 'organized religion' compared to buddhism. it really is how it is.

i'm so wretched, just thinking maybe my dad deep down below his exterior of unconditional love is greatly dissappointed with how my once extremely promising life is turning out, i've really lost all motivation in life, i don't really want to admit this to anyone, more importantly myself. somedays are really conflicted, i'm petrified of dying yet sometimes i wish that i was in hospital with dengue, life is just reduced very simply to life or death, and i wish that stark life death situation would put my life in perspective. give me a kick but most of all give me motivation, drive to accomplish something with my life.
sometimes i'm pretty much convinced i'm bipolar, one minute in my head i'm happy as the summer sun, the next minute i want to curl up in my bed, detesting the gorgeous sunny weather, wishing that i didn't have classes, i didn't have obligations, i could just slip into uncomplicated sleep yet not die, just wanting to live my life as a whisper of what it could be, drifting without meaning.
morbid as it may sound i have thought many times about my funeral. few people would turn up for ME. those that do would come cause ikhwa's/alex's daugther passed away so we're going to support them, or vanessa's/derek's sister passed away so let's go support them.
i honestly do believe that my AEP girls would come, some of my sec 4 teachers, perhaps 'the table' (since they'll be limited by the travelling overseas thing) and ed, would be the only ones there.
sociable as i may seem, many people do hate me. my sec 4 class with perhaps the exception of.. clare, then again she's AEP, but i really don't think anyone would attend my funeral for ME, sandra. no one would mourn my passing in their daily lives, i'll always be a little blip in their radar that no one would ever miss when gone.

but ed, i'm sorry i really never meant to hurt you, perhaps it was taken out of context, and my temper and flair for dramatics doesn't seem to help it at all. honestly, would i be willing to give up a 5 year relationship that has defined me and truly is one of my last few motivating factors of life, for a religion for which my faith wavers? it was more complex then it seemed at the surface cause how i define my parents or rather how they have defined themselves to us, particularly my dad, is relgion.
when i think of God, my dad is always there in my mind. one part of me associations, even parallels God with my dad, i'm not being sacriligious but i believe that my dad loves the same as God, unconditionally no matter how much of a dismal failure i am.
but sometimes i feel so frustrated and filled with longing when my dad doesn't know the extent i love him, he reckons it's cause he's unconditional and lets me off cause i'm so much like him on so many different levels. but we're never affectionate or very close cause it's just ackward for him i suppose, sometimes i want to smack him screaming why can't we be more close!!!!!!! why must you always talk about God, and update me on your meetings and business trips, why can't we just talk like father and daughter! WHY CAN"T WE DAMN IT!! it's really frustrating when he's so proper on the phone. i crave for half the relationship my sister has with my mom but with my dad. i've given up on hoping for anything with my mom. i really have.
it's scary when sometimes postcards on postsecret express/make me acknowledge how i feel inside. i didn't call my mom on mother's day, i know it broke her heart, but i just didn't want to talk to her on such a superficial commercial day, but it'll just be pleasentaries which are again superficial, somehow it's better than i don't call and spoil her day.
it just is.


i don't know. just wish i knew everything.
00:06

so weird. during my cognition tute today, we were asked to spell out novel non words.
so the tutor said clird and i spelt it as cleude.
to which she mentioned hmm it's french spelling.

weird. don't know why i have a propensity to spell in french, even commission. i put accents on the letters.
18:31

quite upset, just flipped through photo album after photo album of singaporean girls.

it's utterly depressing when 98% of them are stick thin (the other 2% actually HAVE boobs)

kinda related: when ed saw me on tues, he kept asking why do you only wear sporty-esqe and somewhat more revealing (as in racerback sports top) in australia instead of singapore?

it's cause in singapore, all the girls are sticks but in australia, I"M the stick. so i don't have as much of a weight issue as i do when surronded by stick insects in singapore.


anyhoo some might say it's hypocritical of me (since i'm COMPARITIVELY thinner than most aussie girls) to be applauding madrid fashion show's for implementing a ban on models who are GROSSLY GROSSLY underweight, hello??!
those in concentration camps had more meat on their bones than some of these girls.

and i told myself! you know what ..?

i'm PROUD (quite) of my body/shape (not so happy about the extra winter padding) so heck being thin, people here compliment me on being lithe (well that was LAST year when i was 4kg lighter) but still..!

so as a reasonable resolution i'm going to;

- not eat chocolates, well too much anyway. exception when i am insanely stressed.
- not eat rubbish candy
- reduce the amount of sugar in my tea
- only eat things worth my eating. that is and has been my new mantra since melbourne.
- drink water alot cause it cleanses my icky internal system
- eat more cherry tomatoes or any semblence of veggies. which i am glad to say i have been sticking to rather religiously. 15 a day - blended to a thick pulp and immediately gulped down to retain the vitamin C and fibre. i would usually eat them whole but for some strange reason the past couple of batches have been rather sour.


if it's any consolation, i don't..
drink
consume chips or any junk food
consume caffine

i don't eat unhealthy food, it's just that i don't eat really healthy food.


but anyway i'm taking this drastic action mostly cause it's beyond disgusting/repulsive/horrific that i can actually grab HANDFULS of my sides and stomach! damn all the winter padding and padding courtesy of melb, what's worse is that patrizio's concerts are coming up and i have to at least not be dumpy.

so besides the crisis of WHAT TO WEAR!
i'm experiencing an OMG I"M SO FREAKING PUDGY IT"S NO LONGER FUNNY!
as such i shall be cruel to myself and walk around my room in barely anything infront of the full length mirror so i shall be more motivated to excercise or at least work out on helping the grotesque thing called my tummy.


no but seriously, i'm deficient, in many, if not most vitamins and essential nutrients so my healthier diet of cutting back on red meats and anything with MSG (which rules out most of sancta cooked food) in favour of fresh fruit and veggies albiet blended but at least i'm getting healthier.


but i shall not starve myself. in fact i'll continue happily eating what i want.. in moderation.

that's the word moderation. the word my mom goes on and on and on about, insisting my personality is too self indulgent.

so yes, we'll see how it goes.

wish me luck.
08:00

woke up with the most uncomfortable feeling in my chest cavity, feeling all the heat build up wrapping around me.
been up for slightly more than an hour. consolidated ishy's birthday present, followed by a quick tidy up of my room, brushing teeth and getting into the mindset of my assignments.

the gravity of my situation has sunk in an quite honestly, i'm getting stressed out as evident by my complexion. been thinking. i reckon my body, or at least my immune system, is starting to shut down.

week 1 of uni. i was still feeling the effects of a stomach upset from the raw egg in the chocolate mousse that was left out for too long. which culminated into tonsilitis and mild fever.

then week 4.
violent attack of food poisoning. spent significant part of the week throwing up and collapsing everywhere.

week 5
teethering on a minor break down cause of a whole array of factors.
sister was around, constantly invading my space and my neatly set system.
brain was being wrecked how thinking the best way to break the news to alexandra and the fact my sister refused to tell her when it was her responsibility and heaped it onto me.
had to do the invites for mother daughter event.
the stress of stalker that was making me very uncomfortable and overly anxious, he was not only harassing me but my sister whom i envy for being able to brush it off so casually.
but i was affected by stalker so much so that in the afternoon, i had to call ed cause i was on the verge of tears, was so overwhelmed by the fact that avoiding stalker i missed a substantial number of classes (which i'm regretting) then i didn't want to attend my tutorial which i ended up missing cause i was in bed trying to vent out my frustrations with tears but i couldn't and ended up being so emotionally drained from that.

i really do owe ed so much emotionally, he was on the phone reassuring me in a soft lilting voice trying to soothe my restless yet listless soul, while i drifted off to lalaland, sleeping it off. a whole chunk of his afternoon was spent patiently listening to me somewhat hysterically loading everything, even empathsized with me chatizaing myself for not knowing why i was feeling this, why couldn't i handle that...
he explained in such a comforting tone that no one is expected to be able to cope with everything that hits them, we're only human and it's understandable, in fact, a part of being human to experience all the conflicting emotions i was drowning under.

gosh the things he said were so sweet and selfless, knowing that i had him by my side during my minor breakdown really made all the difference and motivated me to not let this bog me down.

i really don't know what i would do without him.

thanks for everything kitty.
03:41

lets out a sigh for no reason in particular.

it's been a rather long day but the week seems to have drifted by in a messy haze which is my mind. i'm simply petrified of the weeks to come.

mon 23 april.
you all know what that means. the end of my carefree teen years or at least being able to use teenage folly as a convenient excuse for my still very immature behaviour.


4 days later, 27 april
submission of a very evil report (worth 30%) which i am still yet to take a serious look at.
the week has been insane, i missed 2 lectures trying to avoid you-know-who, he might as well be voldey (voldermort) - considering how whenever he, the source of all evil is around around, he just sucks all the happy energy and life out of me and i want to kill him but can't, so at least when the encounter is over i'm at least extremely grateful that it's over and that i came out relatively unscathed.
but tremble in sick anticipation knowing that soon enough he will appirate infront of me and the horrible cycle starts all over again.
see? doesn't that outline harry's experiences with voldey?



nipping hot on the heels of one evil report is another due on the 7th of may.
developmental. (35%)

shudders, say no more.


the merciless onslaught continues (it's arguable that it peaks with this since it's the heaviest weightage of all prac reports with a massive 40%) with social due on May 25th, icky stats.

small break sent by God.
patrizio, lovely lovely gift from God.

but not wanting to let me enjoy my patrizio induced dreamlike state i would walk for a week.. is learning.

please kill me now. wait.

kill me by this weekend so i don't have to deal with any assignments.

God help me.
03:28

best food i've ever had ranking

6. scallop creviche
5. funghi pizza and perscuitto with mozerella and god knows what other cheeses pizza from sydney's little italy
4. home cooked mee siam tied with homecooked chicken kuew teow soup with extra dried scallops
3. black label burny oysters LIVE
2. deep blue bistro's creamy truffle oil mash
1. wagyu burger from rockpool (neil perry) HANDSDOWN
18:56

philly just laughed at me for thinking that ioan gruffudd is immensely gorgeous. yes he IS mr fantastic (only fitting for him) from the fantastic 4 movie. derek was pretty much going what the hell when i was going all girly swooning when i brought ken and him to watch fantastic 4.
he was also in 102 dalmations, seen it yes yes? fine nevermind but how cute was he in it as the animal loving guy. ok 102 wasn't as quirky as the 1st one or even close to the original disney one but how can you not adore glenn close, i would elect her for vice-president anyday (reference to airforce one with also a rather dashing harrison ford.)

man, he's seriously wowser. think it's the strong resemblence to patrizio, minus the very roman imperator nose.
and he sings too!

ah..

i shall be off to stare at pictures of him.
22:01

went for macbeth.
had congee.
raided jen's shop.
found out about swan lake on this fri, sat and sun.

great night.
00:28

stupid what's his face.
kicked me out of the tutorial very unceremoniously, bet it's PMS. primitive male syndrome!
i looked at him wide eyed and confused as to what i should be doing right after he told me really curtly to leave his class.
why are you still here.... don't sit in my class you'll only be a redundant piece of driftwood.

i wanted to defend myself, saying that 2 days before i emailed him asking if i could attend his tutorial since my friends are in his tutorial and we would like to be grouped together for the social project. and i also wanted to say that i missed my tutorial the day before to go to his and would he at least just let me sit in for attendance sake.
but i held my tongue should i actually be able to be transferred to his class in the future and didn't want to jeopardize my group's grade.

noooooooooooooo he just had to be really mean.

then i stomped out of class not before shooting him a withering glare.

huffing down the steps outside education building i met ishy and bitched to her, then realised that my arms were covered in ewwwww hives and my right arm was starting to swell.
i must be allergic to what's his face.

so after keeping ishy entertained before her next class, i left for the uni clinic at holme building. heaved a sigh of relief when i realised that the waiting room was empty save for this 1 drew's girl. explaining my situation to the lady at the reception, i was aghast to be informed that they had a strict no walk in policy and the next available appointment would be next thursday.

it's really gay cause the doctor was just sitting in his office quite literally doing nothing and i pleaded for 5 mins to get a really quick consult cause the itching was getting from bad to worse. the red lumpy swollen patches were spreading, my right inner thigh was almost completely covered it the above muck. but nooooooooooooooooooo they had to be stupid and turn me away.

so fine i just returned to college fuming and the inefficiencies and unsympathetic nature of the 2. at lunch bitched to phil and vivien, both of which were vego-s. random fact. contemplated going to RPA but the estimated wait time was bout 3 hours and i couldn't be bothered.

returned to my room, looked through the office works catalogue.
read the history of the sopranos.
checked if anyone wanted any of the textbooks i had put up for sale on textbookexchange.
puttered around my room.

all of which to kill time before the social lecture. left college 10 to, but bumped into treen, vivien, lily, claire so from being 10 mins early for my lecture i was 15 mins late.
that's what you get for being in college.

when vivien enquired about my rashes i realised they were completely gone! my skin was back to it's pasty translucent state, as if nothing ever happened! was totally amazed.

lecture boring.
as usual.
oh and i couldn't help but check out you know who after wanker stood up momentarily in the lecture. goodness he really IS a dag. another gaping hole in his t shirt. no excuses bout extra ventilation or any of that nonsense.
ok i'm way way over him but i can still appreciate aesthetically pleasing objects now can't i.
ha.

went with jordon to officeworks, made fun of him as usual.
on the way back sammy and i saw 2 vespas (refer to pic). noticing that the license plate of one was THX 69 i pointed that out to her. but she was oblivious to the innuendo. explained it to which she went ewwww so anyway i took out my phone getting a snap of the 2 vespas when this guy walked past. imagine our disgust when we realised that the guy who was a dumpy version of a young bill gates was the owner of the said vespa bearing the very subtle lisence plate.

yay i finally put up my monet and did the corkboard so my room is one step closer to being very much a room with PIZZA! nooo not PIZ-ZA it's PEEEEEE-ZAZ.

nevermind. inside joke from foster's home for imaginary friends.
23:00

*yawns* lunch was the normal bad sancta sunday fare.
was trying to piece up the really strange dream i had last night while recounting it to sam, nikki and phil at the dining table.
basically, i was in my very early twenties (?) looking very gorgeous, slightly willowy frame but still tiny enough to look almost delicate.
my boyfriend wanted a breather from the relationship since the next step for us would have been him proposing. the reality of tying the knot to the same someone for the rest of your life is rather intimidating. i took it very calmly understanding where he was coming from. then he said he decided to take an overseas internship while considering what the best course of action would be. but left with the disclaimer, insinuating that he would come back and be totally prepared to settle down with moi for good.
so we parted on terms that wasn't exactly bad, just wasn't the most pleasant of possible ways.

later, after i had gotten over how annoyed and incredelous i was over his bout of temporarily cold feet. i was in an wonderous gorgeous park with bunnies (???????) and little ducklings, playing and feeding those cute little critters! wheee! with a bunch of darling little children under my charge. clad in my pretty pastel robin blue and white sundress, laughing having a great time. with the cutest bunny in my arms i whirled to show the children the little adorable ball of loveable fluff but i bumped right into this really strapping looker.
after gawking at him for a milisecond, broke into fit of giggles then we started talking and stuff. me going on about my love for bunnies, then we took a walk round the park with the little kiddies happily running about.
then fastfoward to when we had been going out for about 9 months, him being such an old school gentleman on dates yet was carefree, perfect balance between being a proper gentleman and a fun spirited all-cares-to-to-the-wind attitude.
only thing was he was somewhat sketchy about his past and family etc., but didn't bother me much since it's normal for guys to be reserved about themselves.

so after we were having a nice picnic he asked me to marry him and it took me completely by surprise.
i agreed despite it being a whirlwind courtship. right after he was 'right, ok let's go meet my parents', ha we got to whatever country he was from and to my rude shock he was the ruler of europe.

sidetract note: yes yes it's very grace kelly, and screams 'the prince and me' or very mary donaldson, but it was at least a year since i read or wacthed anything to do with either of the above. so i'm still triyng to figure out why i dreamt of it since dreams are a consolidation of recent thoughts and memories, both implicit and explicit. been raking my brains for the past 3 hours but i can't seem to account for any possible memories cues that might have triggered out such a dream.

after the revelation, he pulled me aside quitely and said he would understand if i reconsidered his proposal with all the realities of royal duties and the sacrifices one would have to make.
the stupid boyfriend at the sidelines issue didn't help with my decision.
on one hand there was this guy i've been going out with for bout 7 years, we practically expected to marry each other but look how he turned out to be mr-cold-feet but he we've been together for so long and have gotten through all the rough patches of a long-lasting relationship together.
so that was a mmuch better indicator of marriage life.
then the price guy, it was a whirlwind romance we hadn't any experience of arguements or anything, at 9 months we were still riding the honeymoon part of a relationship. i had no bad scrapes to base our future together on.

so i was at crossroads for that.

didn't help that his mom was bit of those sterotypical control freak that disapproved of many things. but at times she was really nice to me as i was the daughter she never had (he had 3 brothers) but she could easily switch between personas when necessary which i found to be quite unnerving.

in the end it was very princess diaries, so i told him that i was sticking with him (since the stupid boyfriend who knew about my situation didn't want to come and help with my decision making).

then he bought me a pretty little farm and cottage (ok now it's sounding very marie antionette, p.s i can't spell for nuts)
and had lots of cute animals, like plenty of bunnies, swans, and horses, dogs, several kittens, and whole bunch of other animals.. oh oh and a cockatoo!

had several kiddies and thankfully when they grew up they were NORMAL. non parental hating, non serial killer type kids.
13:11

why won't anyone take me seriously when i say i want to be a museum curator!!
20:59

rave rave rave rave rave..

giving muse rave reviews!
11:59

i know it's a bit late but how much am i in love with MUSE!
11:08

ugh, i'm feeling so gross.
i might as well have drunk a whole cup of oil straight up having eaten oyster omelette last night.
that upon the 3 shallow friend soaking-like-icky-oily-sponges-in-oil hashbrowns i've been having for breakfast everyday for the past 2 weeks.

ewwwwwwwwwwww

i feel the oil ooooooooooooooooozing out of my pores. no wonder i'm breaking out.


ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

oil.
11:18

Coolies. Alexandra is coming over tonight. YAY!
Lucky her has the honour of being the first friend to ever stayover.. ahem officially that is. Haha. Unofficial visits are so much more fun. HEHE!

She should be arriving around dinner time so mom’s flustered that I didn’t tell her earlier cause tonight was meant to be a simple meal. Hmmm maybe I should call mom and inform her that dinner doesn’t have to be an extravagant affair cause I’ll be bringing her to the Marina Bay area tonight to zou zou (walk walk) then to Newton! Gosh so much Sinagporean delights, I don’t know what I should be stuffing her with.
I reckon at newtown - carrot cake, stingray (tho it impaled her national icon right in the heart), dao hui tho i think you can't get it at this time of the night, rojak consisting only of you tiao and sotong (cuttlefish)

Ok there’s laksa (probably the one at Queenstown), xiao long bao at crystal jade, anymore suggestions?

Anyway, spent bout an hour or two planning her itinerary, shifting through visitsingapore.com for tours, red lantern tour sounds very interesting. Like the name suggests red light district! It’s "a heartlander" tour hahaha reminds me of the Hossan Leong play yesterday however when he was this ah qua/bapok (gay sissy man) exercise trainer named Richard Semens with his mop of curly blonde brown corkscrews, clad in loose electric blue basketball shirt, white shorts and stripy orange and white leg warmers with matching sweatband.
done in a gay voice
when you meet like the fishball noodle seller the "heartlander" which means "smelly" you... shake his hand then look away.
now shake his hand and look away.

you have to watch the play. now i shall do a plug for the show.

go and watch hossan leong's multiple personality disorder currently showing at the drama centre of the national library from today onwards till 10th feb. everyday at 8pm with an extra show at 3pm on weekends. tickets are priced at 20, 35 or 50.

it's super highly recommended if you especially enjoy the works of mr miyagi who wrote the entire show himself, paraodies of celebrities via the songs that made them in/famous all while taking a dig at the singaporean government zealous mission of attracting foreign talent.

here nothing is sacred, it's a fabulous play. very entertaining.
in fact it's my first local play which i'm gonna bring alexandra to as soon as i can fit it in her schedule.

i've veered off topic, but that's not really a surprise when it comes to me so i'll continue later cause i feel like falling asleep right now. good grief it's 5 YAY an hour 15 mins more to go then i can go home!

darn i have to entertain my guest. but i want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
16:18

gosh the last entry was slightly more than a month ago! and that was pretty crap one.
not to say that you becoming 2LT is anything short of an massive accomplishment not to mention being sword of honour!!

at this point in time,
i've..

been to bangkok with the family, they left for shanghai whilst i stayed in bangkok with the visudharoms (man i can't believe i'm related and still can't get the spelling right) for additional 2 days.

came back for ed's comms ball!
it was the best fun i ever had.. no not so much the ball, it was spending wondorous quality time with him.
cooked my speciality.. mushroom soup, clam chowder, pizza!
he would argue that it's ALL i can cook, but this professional caterer would beg to differ!

so we went shopping.. blah blah blah, you can actually read it up on his blog lexophilia.blogspot.com i don't want to repeat what's already been said, so much more productive to add ON to it.

gosh he was so cute at his ball, dashing and suave. like a young pierce brosnan, so stately and looking ever so delish! ok i'll stop it already.

so glad that the first time i wore my marc jacobs military pea coat was to something so special to him. it was such a thrill to be able to meet all the guys i've been hearing so much about, robin much more so than others. literally. everytime i call ed i would hear robin's out of tune/off pitch falsetto in the background, still it isn't as bad as my mom.

and samuel who was very charming, kept posing around with his hand in his pocket, i so badly wanted to scream out or at least get ed to rib him playfully with..
confucious say.. man with hand in pocket feels cocky.

ed laughed and kept swatting me away as i was so persistent.

the whole night was great, got on splendidly with the girls at my table. around them i felt kinda plain looking cause the girls looked astounding. ed couldn't stop staring at kohzy's date's hair, wish i didn't get make up nor my hair done, cause that's what ed would prefer. not to mention i would have saved 70 plus. oh well what to do. i'll post the pictures of the comm's ball up if possible but i'm going to just rip it off ed's blog.

christmas eve.
slept for less than 4 hrs then it was off to the airport, was kinda freakin out when i couldn't get a cab when it was slightly more than an hr before my flight.
got to the airport titchy bit angry at ed for making a mountain out of a molehill of how long it took him to get a cab.

at changi, everything was all great until i was told that my flight to bangkok was delayed by 2 hrs thus i would miss my connecting flight in bkk to shanghai, so thai airways offered me an alternative, they would give me a direct flight straight to shanghai via MU eastern airlines.
bought uncle rod 2 boxes of cigarettes for xiao rong then procedded to the boarding room. then as i was getting onto the plane, they pulled me aside and told me that my ticket wasn't valid since a transfer of airlines needed validation from the MU side and MU wasn't gonna give me one until several hours later.
i pulled the whole innocent puppy dog eyed look on them but they wouldn't budge without the go ahead from the stupid airline validating whatever.
Ok so I’ll try to explain what little I know about the situation.
I had an electronic ticket along with my paper ticket my family had been issued, so thai airways gave me a MU boarding pass. However on the MU side, since my ticket was electronic and the changes were not on the paper ticket itself, it wouldn’t validate that my ticket was an authentic one in spite of the thai airways staff practically swearing on my behalf that it was.

So MU ground staff pulled me off the flight and I had to trek all around the airport change to settle the cigarettes cause they were bought from duty free and I couldn’t bring it into Singapore unless I wanted to pay like a gazillion dollars in tax.
To cut the story short.. well shorter.. I was given a later flight, great I would be spending Christmas eve in transit. Bloody hell I would be missing the most important dinner of the year! It’s a tradition the extended family has shared ever since I can rememeber and I was heartbroken that this was the first time that the entire family could be together and I would be missing the dinner!

To make matters worse, I didn’t even have enough cash to take the train home! So exchanged RMB and some aussie dollar for the cab ride from and to the airport.
Called ed totally distraught hoping we could meet for a while later, very unfortunately he had family activities planned so that was not possible and I went home with my Christmas hopes and spirits totally dashed.
Returned home at around 130, talked to veerapan for a bit since his last day would be 31 dec.

Had a tiring day, been up since 6 with barely 4 hrs of sleep, so changed out and konked out in bed. Sleep deprivation teamed with exhaustion trumped grumbling stomach .I got really upset and emotional having to return to an empty house even more so when just days before I had had the best days of my life. Just last night ed and I were cuddling to sleep, and now I’m so alone!!!!!!!!!

Alright I’m being a tad over melodramatic but I really enjoyed our domestic times together. Empty house and bed not the best of combinations. I miss my kitty so so much.
Was woken up by a call from ed at about 4, he felt bad that he couldn’t come over so consolation was a nice long phone call. Barely 2 mins into the conversation, the doorbell started ringing furiously. Wonder who that could be, reckon it was Joshua my brother’s friend, but didn’t I tell him that Derek would only be back in time for school?
Told ed I would call him back and went to answer the door.

Lo and behold, it was ed!!!!!! Was totally in shock, wondering if I was still sleeping and this was some fantastic dream which would only have broken my heart further when I woke up...
So later in my room when I was still gushing and just giving him long hugs he thought I was crying. I guess I was so overwhelmed by the culmination of the day’s events, the lovely surprise and his sheer presence on my door step that I did end up crying. I’m such a pansy!

We spent time cuddling in bed, talking every now and then but mostly enjoying each other’s presence in comfortable silence. I think it’s remarkable when you can reach a stage where you can just be in the presence of that someone not having to say a word without the situation becoming awkward.

Sigh time simply passes too fast when you’re having fun. Clichés DO say it best.
Parting is such sweet sorrow. The whole lot. But those two phrases convey what we were feeling. So we took a cab together, dropped him off at his sister’s place for an extended family dinner and had a nice uneventful flight.

I’ll continue the rest later, I’m sorry this was meant to be a recap, as in SUMMARY SANDRA! Not a long grandmother’s story.
Believe it or not, I left out a lot of details but I suppose it’s the gist with just enough for you to really know what an amazing guy ed is.

I love my kitty.
11:06

i'm so proud of you 2nd LT officer!
00:13

was reading up on the history of the british royal family as a form of procrastination, after fiona white placed princess mary's picture under 'fortuitous events'.

since the beginning of the year after we borrowed martini glasses from perla (refered to as salisbury rob so as to avoid confusion with the other paulines named rob such as doctor rob, hobo rob etc)
i kept trying to place my finger on why perla looked so familiar then i realised that he bears a striking resemblence to prince william.
i'll try digging up photos of perla so you all can see that i'm not delusional, oh prince william looks really good in the picture of him on wikipedia and another one of him on with harry on harry's 'profile'.

i'm not one of those really whacked princess diana conspriacy theorists but seriously you can't have that great a looking kid with i-wish-i-was-your-tampon.
21:22



Cattell's 16 Factor Key
Factor low score high score
Warmth cold, selfish supportive, comforting
Intellect instinctive, unstable cerebral, analytical
Emotional Stability irritable, moody level headed, calm
Aggressiveness modest, docile controlling, tough
Liveliness somber, restrained wild, fun loving
Dutifulness untraditional, rebellious somewhat conforming, traditional
Social Assertiveness shy, withdrawn uninhibited, bold
Sensitivity coarse, tough touchy, soft
Paranoia trusting, easy going wary, suspicious
Abstractness practical, regular strange, imaginative
Openmindedness closeminded, set-in-ways curious, exploratory
Perfectionism disorganized, messy orderly, thorough
Tension stressed, unsatisfied relaxed, cool

01:32

great the only day of the week that it's raining and i'm actually up.

doing what? listening to vicin' o' mare right now, the rain outside really accompanies faint sounds of the waves in the song i tried accessing the lecture recordings and notes online but apparently i've run out of credit, i've had 13 since tuesday and it's barely friday morning.

reckon it must be cause of philly's insane usage of facebook which like anyother networking site burns up internet credit like nobody's business even more so when you've been uploading your own pics and acessing other's pages crammed with photos.

can you say burning up extro account funds?


to comfort myself for being the unproductive git i am, i'll put up a rough study time table now.

friday
late morning - cognition
afternoon - cognitionnight - cognition

sat
late morning - social
afternoon - social
night - social

sun
late morning - developmental
late afternoon - bio
night - bio

mon - bio
morning - bio
afternoon - bio
night - bio

TUESDAY DIE! bio exam at 9am, YAY at mc larin hall.

tues after bio exam and wed - frantic cramming of cognition and social

THURSDAY morning still cramming for exam at 1.50 t PNR building which is so freaking far away seriously. that's just plain mean.

to think anymore about next week i'll just die so i'm not going to.

bet i'll be super unproductive today, esp jen's coming over.

where's my self control!!!!!

ARGH ARGH ARGH!!
11:03

heard from renee that ellie might possibly not be coming back to college next year, so i was left pondering about who was to replace her as cultural secretary.

possibly me?

there's 3 positions avaible for next year.

1. fund raising secretary
   but i rather it be more along the lines of charity work instead of raising more alcohol money for us to only end up throwing everything up at the end of the night
   
2. food secretary which i have been eyeing since the end of last year, come on how perfect would i be for it? i eat crap loads tho it seems most of the time it isn't sancta food. but still.. when i considering running for cultural secretary philly nd ishy vehemently protested against the idea, going on about how blashemous for me not to be food sec.
   
3. cultural slot which could very possibly be free for me next year.
   come on admit it, how cultured am i. seriously am i not one of the most cultured people you've ever met? no? darn..
   but really i am!
   
   i did art history and AEP for 4 years, had higher art award
   received an offer to exhibit my work
   currently working in the uni art collection gallery - which is one stepping stone closer to me getting my ultimate dream job of museum curator in europe
   my room is filled with all my drawings
   i was part of the cultural and liturgical comm
   i could name almost every single art work in vince's place
   everyone says i'm so artsy
   considering doing a double degree of european art history in 2 years time WHEN i get my psyc honours
   i so appreciate european culture
   i listen to patrizio and other italian music!!
   i'm learning italian and latin
   for fun and procratination, i draw
   i ogle at art history books
   all my blogs have been named or influenced by art works
   i want to take a year off and travel europe, mostly rome and italy.
   i'm taking ancient history
   i want to learn how to proper slow dance and waltz (tango too!)
   i like the ballet, and like ballet
   i like the opera well only madame butterfly and figaro.
   

blah blah blah see, haven't i proved my point??

00:34

very unproductive week it has been.

friday
spent sleeping after the relatively big night at the sals, 145am congee & constantinople (istnabul) pizza run then checking out my personal eye candy

saturday
more sleeping till 3am then got ready for jen's caterin job
catering
had a brilliant chat with tyler at jen's shop

sunday
on the phone with sammy for almost 2 hrs
spent 40 mins trying to unknot my hair
watched sam show us around the messed up sim's house where the 3 nerds got impregnated by aliens and who cry for comfrot. hilarous.

monday
sleeping, doing ancient history journal
totally forgot about daylight savings so i went to a closed sophi office suhc a waste of my life
had a veronica mars marathon, well it was only 3 episodes exclusing one i had already watched
read up on veronica mars

tuesday
- extremely disrupted sleep from my snooze button that goes off for every 9 mins for the past 2 and a half hours
- crappy tuesday lunch
- uni museum work again satyed till quater past 5 cause i was a bit late and it was louise in charge instead of katie.
- bought a deck of cards for charles but it was mostly for my own warped amusement, don't think he'll get the joke significance of it but still. he wasn't in tho, his neighbour well 3 doors down anyway said he was in canberra for stuvac.
-popped by mike's room for a gossip but he already knew the 'hot news' i had about the girls' he's been with damn it, so anti climatic but he was touched by me trekking all the way to pauls just to break the news to him. which he already knew damn it!
feeling bad for making him miss dinner which ends at 630 seriously that's stupid, why would it end so early.
-nandos was calsed couldn't be bothere to actually get proper food to eat so i just broke into my stash of emergency food.
-spent the rest of the night with sammy planning out our rooms for next yeat since the draw list was going down at midnight.
18:09

i'm just feeling a twinge of sadness bout how next year is going to turn out at college.

most of the paulines i know are graduating thus this would be the last couple of times i get to hang out with them, which is such a pity after getting to know such great guys.
and it's always the end of year when you're wondering if your friends would be returning next year, it's all nice being in this state of ignorane happy bliss where you don't have to worry if your group of friends are depleting.

the whole fear of the unknown.

hopefully i'll be a great senior next year, and even more hopefully i'll get kath hubbard's room which i'm really eyeing at the moment. but on the whole it's spacious enough to put in an extra desk, sofa and the whole lot. cupboard space is GREATLY reduced.

where am i gonna put all my clothes/shoes???!!

haha such a sandra thing to worry about.

so many disadvantages of quad side room,
1. you tend to get all the noise from the quad obviously. the acoustics of the place is simply amazing every small sound is amplified, i would have thought the sandstone interior would have absorbed the noise but that doesn't seem to be the case.

2. unfortunately it's facing in so there goes the morning sunrises and gorgeous morning sunshine streaming through the windows, i've really grown so fond off it.
i really can't help being all sentimental but i do feel all sad.

i won't be getting any morning OR afternoon sun being in west. consolation sandy, western roman empire!


2b. another issue about it facing in, i'll be deprived of all the nudie runs!!! i want to be on the forefront of such important intercol issues!

2c. i can't leave my windows open at night lest there be people leering/perving at moi.

perks of moving into kath's room next year.

it's so pretty!

that's about it. ha but it's not really considered cause its how she does it up.
well but i'm still really pro north 202/=.

so so so so hope i get it man
03:00

clearly the thing works but it took i reckon about a week to be 'google-able', so be patient
so anyway i'm making some revisions to it.
btw ignore the previous one dated the 21st of this month, i'm just leaving it there so i don't have to go through the whole one week++ time lapse before our names can be googled.

most generic terms applicable for all of us.

sancta sophia college, sydney university, usyd, 2005 2006, B.R.A BRA beware running amazionians, occult, sophs, hot paulines, procrastination, sals, formals, informals, paul's,

now to the general specifics

jennifer walpole
twin, freak show, psychic connection, arts degree, graduate class 2006, thai, japanese, asain studies, whip, establishment, stripper, cult leader, randwick girls, bobby robert desmond catterall (sp?), severed buddah head, alcohol, red bull, extravagant spender, tuxedo shirts, teacup catering, pontip asian grocery shop, naked pauline.

philippa crowter
veterinary vet science, animals, eurasian, hong kong, chinese international school, british citizen, freak of nature back, philly, vegetarian, catering, nick 'he counts' dunford, lin-bin, wilting wallflower (she wanted it in here!)

samantha siripol
physiology, psychology, immunolgy, advance bachelor of science degree, canberra, canberra grammar girls school, parliment house, crazy cat lady, cats, chaser, jordan, harlot.

sandra ho
psychology, ancient history, latin, human biology, italian, art history, petite, art museum, eating, ballet, patrizio buanne, singapore, crazy singing, CHIJ, IJ, AEP, sailing, lazy, catering, beer.

that's all for now i reckon, got to get started on my ancient history revision. have to cover 150-800AD. 650 painful years of convulated details.
22:09

goodness it works!
i half forgot about my experiment on increasing our internet presence but goodness it works! as evident by sammy's tag entry today/yesterday!!

coolies and also stumbled upon this webSHITE by one of the people from philly's old school! it was beyond blatant that the person who created the webshite was "clearly OBVIOUSLY retarded". and not to mention sad, hello it's a recent site documenting his 13th birthday!

i mean how utterly sad can you get, it was 7 freaking years ago and the english? good grief i don't even want to get started on how ghastly it was, haha philly and i did have a good laugh at it tho. she's considering meeting up with him for my and our own amusement but then there would be the problem of shaking him off once he's latched on like a sucking leech who sucks suckily (i'm going with the whole black adder alleteration thing which i think i'm not quite so successful)

speaking of webshites, i'm putting up some links courtesey of sammy whose sense of humour is.... uh very crazy old cat lady. goodness you all have got to meet my college friends they're hilarious. ah college.

man i'm SO NOT looking forward to going back for THREE WHOLE MONTHS!

looks like the tv's gonna be replacing jen and philly as my new level 1 friends for the summer break.
21:52

we made a pact to take the time
to get to know each other deep inside
no rushing in to cross the line
it maybe a little old fashioned but it feels so right


bridge:
been holding back for so long
what feels so right can't be wrong
baby you can read it in my eyes
let's write the story of our lives tonight

Chorus:
don't be afraid, turn down the lights
baby move in closer it's gonna be alright
this is the moment we'll remember all our lives
forever begins tonight


i know you're feeling those butterflies
well let me tell you a secret so am i
well baby it's ok baby it's alright
just follow our hearts now
to what we feel inside


been holding back for so long
what feels so right can't be wrong
baby you can read it in my eyes
let's write the story of our lives tonight

don't be afraid, turn down the lights
baby move in closer it's gonna be alright
this is the moment we'll remember all our lives
forever begins tonight


i know it'll be alright when we see the morning sun

italian bits which i'm still trying to learn by listening.
15:52

very sad.

we were talking about our internet presence or lack thereof (not fair that jordon has a gazillion sites on him then again he's OLD, hear that jordan!)

so anyway to increase our non existence on the internet i'm gonna to just add random search words to our names so at least when people google us something about us pops up. sad huh. you can really tell i'm procrastinating

most generic terms applicable for all of us.
sancta sophia college, sydney university, usyd, 2005 2006, B.R.A beware running amazionians, occult, sophs, hot paulines, procrastination, sauls, formals, informals, paul's,

now to the general specifics

jennifer walpole
twin, freak show, psychic connection, arts degree, thai, japanese, whip, cult leader, randwick, bobby, bob mobile, buddah head, alcohol, tuxedo shirts, catering, asian grocery shop, naked pauline.
philippa crowter
vet science, nick, hong kong, american school, british citizen, tall, philly, richard dawkins, vegetarian, catering
samantha siripol
physiology, psychology, immunolgy, canberra, canberra grammar girls school, jordan, harlot,
sandra ho
psychology, ancient history, latin, human biology, italian, art history, petite, art museum, patrizio buanne, singapore, crazy singing, sailing, lazy, catering, beer.

hmmm ok i'm going to test it and google us now.
taa!
18:56

niki-san:
oh my god sandra i was walking past your room early this morning. were you playing roxanne????

haha guilty as charged.

watching moulin rogue has reignited my wanting to learn to tango. the main problem, well main problems.
number 1, height - terribly difficult to get a partner
number 2, no guy in his right mind wants to learn how to dance.
seriously there's nothing wrong with learning to dance.

ah well i'll see how it'll go next year.
06:12

reckon i'm in my ovulation period and that would explain why my hair was just so darned fabulous on fri.

but anyway it's also a very convenient biological excuse as to why i'm obsessing about guys right now.

hmmm preference for guy body shape.

i like one toned and somewhat muscular. the best sport for that?
water sports. well water sports in boats anyway.
swimmers, really broad shoulders and disproportionate V shape, which i don't find attractive at all.

so it's sailors or rowers for me.

but one sport i profess utter um.. dislike for is rugby.

seriously.
thick necks eww,
generally squared heads,
over developed calves ewwww,
massive chunky thighs even more eww,
lumpy overly bumpy biceps/triceps/muscles,
excessively bumpy silhloutte.

for our usual girl conversation, we described down the the precise details on the ideal body type. jen says my preference tends to be a bit pudgy. which i resent, well not really.
cause that's what describes ME at the moment.

i like a bit of the v shape but more of a straight but butch figure. toned but not muscular. bit of fat to pad about the edges is fantastic. no i'm not being sarcastic.
but i don't like skinny/lanky/scrawny guys who have less flesh than i do on mine.
you know, those sort of slightly, only very slightly thick torso from the side view.

yeah butch's the word i suppose.

oh yep, niki uses the word butch to describe my taste in guys, which is actually quite astute. even if that word does have negative connotations in sg.

well think i'll go take a short nap till bout 9 stupid body clock is all messed up.
then call for a doctor's appointment

so toodles!

oh oh can't forget surfers! great bod too. reminded me of this guy alexandra and i drool over.
at least i did get one thing out of being dragged to watch charlie's angels 2 with justin, ming and ed. only fair that both sexes get eye candy.

that's not the most flattering picture of him, but man oh man oh man you should just watch charlie for he's such a hottie! tho he's a biiiiiiiit less butch that i like but still.

so anyway he appeared in the surfing scene with the very appropriate song playing..





06:30

disclaimer,
dear derek ie darling stupidboy, i know you've read my blog before, so please do NOT read this entry (actually the past 5 ones too, to be on the safe side of course) lest you want to be somewhat tramautised or at least midly disturbed by what goes on in your sister's head.

then again i'm more tramautised by what i KNOW goes on in yours. ok now shoo boy! you're a legend!
KISSY KISSY KISS KISS!


monday night, 9pm.

level 1 friend philly and i were in the late dinining room getting our chow, thankful that we skipped the still running valentant dinner.

randomly spaced out midway during the conversation with a dreamy little smile on my face, eyes glazed.
then snapped out of my reverie to a very bemused philly.

she quipped: as a dear level 1 friend i can tell what is of your fantasy. no prizes for guessing who the main character of that said fantasy is.
and he's wearing nothing but teensy weensy sports shorts. [very matter of factly]

me shakes head slighty with gleam in my eyes.

philly: okaaaay, in undies. boxer undies?

me shakes head with devilish smile tugging on the corner of my lip.

philly: okay, in full glorious glory (ok i can't quite remember exactly what she said here, but it was along those lines)

slips back into that said fantasy for a micro second.

laughing then explaining animatedly: damn it! how sad that even in my head it's censored. you know, you know, you visualise the guy down to the details but there's this black rectangle across it!
or or!
or you can visualise him from head to torso, then there's this processing blank then continues from thighs onwards! WHY! oh WHY!

philly: at least he doesn't count.

good point.
ha.
05:06

oh yes,
the origins of that 'thing' for snail trails, (see oct 15 sunday's entry, it's one or two down from this one)

was very predictably from a calvin klein ad i saw at 12ish i reckon.
reinforced by another very delectable dior model

yes yes as a kid i was reading vogue, actually my first magazine subscription i had was victoria's secret. well it was the previous tenants when we lived at ford avenue but we still continue to recive them for about 2 years. wonder who's paying the subscrption fees even after obviously not been receiving them?

ahh, snail trails. hot damn!


p.s i do NOT like chest hair, a light smattering is alright by me, but not 'a springy mat of chest hair' or 'chest hair you could run your fingers through'.
how repulsive seriously.

those quotes were courtesy of those thrashy sandra brown novels my sis used to read devoutly. she's actually finished all those in orchard and tp library which is really scary. but i read one to see what could entrance my sister who has never once opened a book for reading leisure prior to that.

very clearly, it was trashy to say the very least.
read a couple more to get the really bad quotes. haha it was crap-tacular!

man, whenever mike's drunk, he very proudly whips off his shirt to display his pecs, biceps, triceps, blah blah blah whatever he's been working out.

to use a sandra term, he's all 'tumor-y'. but that's not the point.

the thing is that his chest is, well maybe you can't really say chest cause it's all covered by hair, ewwwwwwwww.

my aversion and repulsion to chest hair is attributed to beauty and the beast.
no, not the beast.
GASTON! when he rips his shirt opening singing (actually more like bellowing)


then your poor eyes see things it was never meant to see, MAN! its supposed to be a disney movie! wholesome disney movie and you put THAT? urgh.
even watching that 2 weeks ago at 19 was tramautising.



bare skin all the way man.

bare skin!
03:50

credit's given when credit's due.

the paul's formal was more spectacular, more fabulous, more amazing way more freaking extravagant than sancta's!
well their after formal party anyway.

ok something i found to be really cool,
my name was on the list.

i felt like those hot shot people who rock up to a very exclusive venue, then the bouncer says, go on in, you're on the list.
okay it's a first for me but seriously, even philly thought it was cool that our names were on the list.

blaring music, white marquee up, proper bar with beer taps.. OMG IS THAT A JUMPING CASTLE? A JUMPING FREAKING CASTLE? OMG IT IS!

*runs over screaming hysterically* with philly not far behind. chucked off our shoes and away we went!

is that jen? OMG HI ELLE! (jen's twin sister)
she was sitting on the castle exhausted from all the crazy bouncing. all three of us jumped about very enthusiastically. didn't even care about my hair which half an hour before was the nicest my hair had ever been in the history of ever. (so much so that random people wanted to touch it cause it was just so unbelievably gorgeous!)

spotted a very sleazy looking fred (does he have any other looks besides sleazy? i think not..)
so anyway we found a very-tipsy-jen and a happily-smiling-glazed-eyed-vince on the dancefloor. ahh the wonderful effects of alcohol.

so danced till decided more booze more boooze!

me being the one with the in built hostess complex i popped over to the bar. then charles spotted me, exchanged hellos, started going all coy on him. then out of nowhere he started..

love.. love is like.. OXYGEN!
love is many a spendored thing!
LOVE LIFTS us up to where we belong!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! then we burst out into a very robust(?) all you need is love.

the bartender was giving us weird looks, darn. i recognise that look, it says uuuhh i'm not quite sure i should be serving you seemingly drunk couple. to which that thought dispelled when i put on the sandra charm, and got him another beer as usual. ha.

urgh beer is pretty vile. not as bad as pure vodka straight up tho.

so we talked and sang for a bit, till his date came over, pecked him on the cheek then left to drag the lot to the jumping castle. started attacking philly with trying to take pictures of her popping out of the brand new skanky dress i bought for her birthday. very skanky. seriously only she can pull it off.

so anyway jen and vince fell 'accidently' into the corner together and 'accidently' started making out, so people left the jumping castle. hahaha! but philly and i still continued jumping and screaming and kung fu kicking the wall.

danced more.

got more beers.

danced even more.

we eventually settled for the three benches which was positioned at a right angle. was lying down on one when vince beckoned allie and her date to join us. got more beers, everyone thanked me profusely then i mentioned oh i'm happy when others are happy.
then jen commended me ' that's the kind of attitude i like in my slave workers' thanks jen..
haha

so anyway charles once again was amazed at my amazing bar skills and tried to weasel my secret out. hmmm honestly i don't quite know cause maybe the bar people can recognise oters in the service industry. so maybe that's it.

yeah, philly tried calling lin the whole night to get him to come over.

saw mikey and said hi on the floor, which somehow i regret cause he abandoned his whole date, totally ignoring her for the rest of the night to pseudo-waltz with me around, and talk with us when he realised that we were at the formal.

philly and i were dancing when she accidently jumped on my toes in her stilettoes, injuring my poor right foot middle toe. limped off to find somewhere to assess the damage. one of the guy's not very astute friend's appraoched me asking if i could get him more beers since i'm now famed for it within the college.

brushed him off, telling him i'll help him later, and pacified him by giving him my beer which i hardly touched.

the skin of my poor toe had peeled off in a circular patch, then i pulled the skin back over the wound then continued to the bar and chucked beer on it then realised that there wasn't enough alcohol in beer to be an effective disinfectent so i ran it under the drinking water, plastered it up then went back dancing.
when you're pumped with adrenaline at being at the college event of the year, you really don't want to sit it out.

danced, danced danced.

music ended. then vince suggested we continue the afterparty at his corridor, dubbed party corridor.

he has the most disgusting room in the history of obscenly vulgar and horrifying college rooms.
it's so not right.

it's more than 6 times the size of MY ROOM!
has his own en suite bathroom and shower.
a 52 inch plasma tv, with 4 full sized stereos that was up to my shoulders.
surround sound system.
DVD player, VCR i think, Sound system, and a whole lot of other consoles i didn't recognise.
10 piece sofa set with funky red perspex coffee table.
massive sized desk.
even a pseudo fireplace that stimulates a 'burning fire'
windows all around.
and that's ALL in his LIVING ROOM

his BEDROOM had smaller modest tv that is way more college than that obscence monster outside. bed, blah the usual bed room furniture.

oh oh not forgetting extra points for having a hot neighbour.

that's the end of the formal's after party and the start of our even crazier one that kicked all ass..
more later. i'm going to dinner now.

toodles.

ARGH! hot hot neighbour! hahah!
17:01

seriously how great is my self control?

i didn't rush out to buy patrizio's album on the day it was out, instead going today or tmr, when my assignments are over and done with.

why?
cause knowing me all too well, i'll just put the entire cd on repeat, learn the lyrics in italian and spanish and do nothing else. (i was guilty of that with his first cd)
i think angelo was done in spanish, he did languages in university,
hot damn!
how swoon worthy is a guy who can seduce you in a whole multitude of languages, romance ones at that!

another really random super hot thing about a guy, is that whorl of hair that is practically an arrow directing you to a happy place.

haha, man ''snail trails'' are super hot.
01:44

ok skipped stupid prac cause it was too damn bloody hot.
uh, that was kinda an inside joke. for our personality/differential tutorial we were asked to write down as many creative uses of paper. and someone put down weapon. so the 2nd time round, sammy put down 'suicide tool' to which melodramatic me did a one person scence

ARGH life isn't worth living anymoOOoOoOore! then pretended to procced slitting my wrists with paper. No! NO! put that paper doooown. put it down, now that's right..

ok it's funny when i did it, or at least i think it's funny.
14:50

paul's formal is coming up..

sigh.. if only it were an ideal world.
09:42

patrizio's album's coming out!
patrizio's album's coming out!
01:24

fabulous quote by ainsely, which is undoubtedly going into my quotes book.

you know sandra, it's so great talking to you, you're so refreshing.
you don't remember how good it is to talk to you until the next time you do.

it's like your period, you don't remeber how painful it is until you next have it. haha!

ah yes, it IS painful talking to me. hehe.
good grief, i'm so gonna swing all my friends to vote for her.
15:44

politics almost always splits up the best of groups.
yeah, the college elections are tmr and there's this uncomfortable tension between good friends and immensely divided loyalties.

well my vote for elections are as follows:
executive
senior student - colmer
secretary - renee
treasurer - camellie (MG -my god - i've been friends with her for so long and yet i can't spell her name!)

liturgical - karla (it's a dead shoo in)
social - ainsley and amy dynan
food - ME!

senior intercol - sarah standford
soph intercol - rach beck

just had the most insightful talk with ainsley, i think she'll do a brilliant job, she's like sara vanz without the crazy in your face partner.

pity there isn't a sarah steele in our year. sigh, everytime i think of college all my fond memories are of her. in fact she was the first student i met at sancta, i was the first fresher to have 'booked in' and she invited me to her room for tea and a chat, then later out with her friends for dinner. goodness there's no other college person who is half as perfect as she is.
my year has some rather good ones, but the factor they lack from steele is that she not only united her entire year but she really minimised the segregation between years.

so here's a toast to you steele.

not only the best senior student a college could have but the most genuine friend you could have
15:34

i would so describe the details of the soap opera that unfurled during the formal if i wasn't worried about certain ahem aspects get around and we all land in hot water.



dates
jen - vincent
phil - the 'whu'
sam - jordon aka leering pseudo italian fabio-esqe 'lover man'
alexandra - mary joy
tanzy - forgot her name
ish - deep
niki -san sans carl
yours truly - king-o

name cards read
jenny's joust (not really)
philppa's pony
samantha's stallion (*raises eyebrow* what they trying to get at?)
sandra's star


so let's just summarise it into innocuous harmless points. (in chronological order)

1. red-green colour blind people can have such offensive perceived to be 'beige' pants which in actual fact are bright bright aqua.
2. some random took a photo of me with my entire hand down my top trying to dig out the gold coins..
   classy.
3. i ate a plate of salted butter (minus 3 slices) instead of chugging a glass of vile red wine down.
   even classier.
4. eventually sculled the red down anyway with 2 more bubbly-s throughout the evening
5. table expressed different very warped opinions/conspiracy theories about steak and chicken in relation to balls and racks respectively
6. outside the toilet put on sterotypical girl bitching
7. sauntered over to charles regarding me calling him really randomly.
   (danger danger high voltage!)
8. 'you're f**king amazing' -to me!!
9. twice.
10. crazy dancing in 3 inch heels.
11. vultures descended upon the two for the whole night
12. the time we got kicked out of holme
13. grose
14. 'come back with me tonight mike'
    followed by very indecent crotch rubbing. ew seriously.
15. 'it is my destiny that i go for congee tonight.'
16. shop raid
17. 'may i please have some more sir?'
    one man monologue on the evils of fried asian 'rooster', congee, pork fairy floss all to a kebab.
18. 'we have special congee for white boy'
19. HSBC - Hot Steaming Bloody Congee
20. 'nah it's alright we'll just blame it on the employees'
21. back to college =(

01:42

formal's
fun
fantastic
fantabulous
fandaberdoosie

you won't really get this entry's format unless you refer to the seating name cards.
14:40


04:44

goodness, isn't he just deliriously gorgeous, the epitome of italian godliness. the sort you hope roam all over.. rome. haha. but goodness, *swoon*

but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, his stupid album company just HAD to put that wretched picture on his album cover! bloody hell. why not this one instead! huh! huh! ok you can't really see his totally roman emperor nose in that pic, it's elusive, like his chances of coming to sydney again and me getting good seats!

seriously.

seriously gorgeous swoon.
04:42

zouk addict you!
01:01

was reading the sydney morning herald blog entitled all men are liars *except sam de brito.
http://blogs.smh.com.au/allmenareliars/

which is an extremely entertaining blog, mind you. so entertaining in fact, that he included an entry about the age long (no pun intended) topic of the male appendage.
for your kicks he even provided a measurement chart for all your males out there to print out, hold it under your prized family gem, and see how you flare compared to the average, high average, mr teensy and krong -the butt cruncher (as jen so delightfully scares/terrifies guys with coming up with that name for her imaginary male appendage).

reminds me of this key chain i was so tempted to get for ed just to see his expression. to do that would have been vulgar, and he thought (then 3 years ago) i was such a sweet darling girl uncorrupted by social evils (tho now i can assured you that impression sure has changed).

the key chain was segmented into thirds, in a hierachical ordering, which read something like..

small
.
.
average
.
.
OH MY GOD!!

ok i know you fellas are itching for the penis comparison chart so here's the link.
enjoy but don't feel terribly emasculated if you don't measure up (haha! what a clever stupid pun)

http://www.neo-tech.com/penis/



anyway back to the blog

as the title goes, all mean are liars *except sam de brito

so to prove that he's as fair dinkum as they get, he had a whole answer and question entry. anything goes.
brutally honest, some of the questions, even he foretold would be predictable.
like drugs, cheating, prior crimes and convictions, lying to the police for your mates etc..

anyway someone asked how many kids would you have? to which he replied 4.
then someone else left a reply saying you sure? that's so many!

not going to get into great detail of the biological aspects and comparisons between males and females cause it'll only make me feel like i have to start on my damned cognitive and social report. which i'm really not looking forward to.

anyway the point was about having 4 kids, which is the number of kids i want. maybe 2 boys 2 girls so each gender won't be lacking company (sometimes i feel bad for my brother being brought up in a household so overrun with oestrogen/progesterone)

after the catering gig last sat, the hostess adrianne looked beyond amazing for someone who just had her 3rd kid about 2 years ago judging from the pics of her youngest kid. man i really hope i look half as good as her after 4 kids.

they were a really good looking couple. the husband in more of a typical slightly long shaggy hair aussie kinda way. he was sooooooo unbelievably paternal to their son sam who's about 9, the epitome of how a great dad is. this is in no way a dig at my dad's parenting skills.

the host (simply cause i forgot his name) was lounging about the house with a beer bottle in hand, ironing (!!) and hoisted sam up on his shoulders asking him if he wanted to watch the footie with him, then really patiently explained which teams where playing and sam was like but aren't the eagles playing to which he corrected his son so lovingly. then they sat on the couch together getting all revved up for the match, playfully wrestling.

touching scence really.
ok this is gonna sound really stupid,overly idealistic with lots of oxytocin flying around but i really want the future father of my kids to be like that, combined with my dad's intellect.

is it really that hard to imagine ME with 4 kids in the FAR future.

argh really don't want to end up like the women's girl who got knocked up by a pauline who is now marrying her cause of that. imagine all the resentment, not being able to enjoy all the carefree things your peers are indulging and discovering.
all those lost oppourtunities.

that is why my views on pre marital sex are conversative compared to all my aussie friends, not so much catholic upbringing or cultural norms but the massive fear that i might very unfortunately end up like the women's girl's situation or auntie ginnie's daughter's who's in her early 20s with a 2 year old kid.
few things are worse than having an unwanted child, who's only gonna suffer the stigma from being unwanted and being unloved by his parents.

that's why i'm so thankful to be me.
and pooh pooh to the comment that i wished i was pregnant so i could explain my ugh stomach. really don't want to be pregnant until i'm AT LEAST 28.
02:43

to mark my 300th entry

we made a pact to take the time to get to know each other deep inside
no rushing in to cross the line
it maybe a little old fashioned but it feels so right

been holding back for so long
what feels so right can't be wrong
baby you can read it in my eyes
let's write the story of our lives tonight

Chorus:
don't be afraid, turn down the light
baby move in closer
it's gonna be alright
this is the moment we'll remember all our lives
forever begins tonight

i know you're feeling those butterflies
well let me tell you a secret so am i
but it's ok, baby it's alright
let's follow our hearts
what we feel inside

patrizio's forever begins tonight


**
can't remember the later parts, my memory capacity reached it's limit trying to get the lyrics down word for word
and considering his concert (ie best 2 plus hours of my life) was over 4 months ago, i would have to say that my memory is pretty darn amazing.
but do give me a break for my amazing memory, it's close to impossible to pick up all the lyrics of a song heard for the very first time whilst you're being overwhelmed by all the emotion he's singing with.
but i must admit, closer to the end of the above lyrics i had a little help from the snippet playing on his website, go! i know you're tempted! oh go on!
http://www.patriziobuanne.com/
OH OH! watch the videos for longer snippets of his songs.
alas his nose is so italian.
20:40

toothbrush update!

SOMEONE USED IT!HA SO IN YOUR FREAKING FACE!

wonder how come they couldn't taste that it was off?
15:49

procrastinate:

comes from latin
pro - meaning for
crastinus - meaning tomorrow

procrastinate = for tomorrow

and that's what i have been doing for the past week, damn it.
14:33

what to wear!!
13:11

damned sushi, unagi to be precise. that's eel if you didn't already know.
so anyway around 5-6 on friday morning, this nasty feeling washed over me and settled around my belly button. it was so uncomfortable there and then i could have sympathised with those human incubator pods of alien spawn from the movies, where the developed spawn tussles with my stomach only to burst out of my stomach, of course leaving its human host for dead.
that's how it felt.

thought it was a bad case of stomach flu or maybe my stomach throwing in the towel after me blatantly abusing and neglecting it for so long -
'i have HAD ENOUGH!
hey stop having only one meal a day! just having dinner and lots of chocolate doesn't do it for me you know..!!'

but after rolling about in bed, with nauseau visting me every few minutes for almost the whole day, i called my sis up for some medical adivce.

took gilisel (however you spell it) to settle the nauseau, then fell asleep in a kneeling position.

yes it IS the most uncomforatble position to sleep in but it was the least agitative on my poor stomach. woke up slightly more than an hour after with the worst neck, legs, ankle aches ever.

won't really give much details about this since it's a rather old entry which i realised i didn't post so that's just a brief account of my first ever food poisoning. this entry was dated for the 21st of aug. so here it is slightlymore than a month later.

nasty thing food poisoning is.

a week later, my friends wanted to go to newtown for sushi after mass. can't avoid japanese food all my life.

you could read it as me tempting fate for another bout of food poisoning after polishing off 4 servings of unagi. but ever the psychology student, i had to put food aversion and elimination of fear techniques into practise.
which worked i must say, i'm back to eating happy loads of unagi and sushi.

so paying 25 grand (AUS) per year for a psychology degree, does come in handy.
21:52

..you see these shackles baby i'm your slave
i'll let you whip me when i misbehave..

justin timberlake's sexyback

amusing lines aren't they. when i heard them, the first thought that flashed through my head was..
that sounds very.. jen.

during prep for liturgical dinner, alex commented how can they credit the song to justin timberlake when most of the vocals were by some woman.
when i heard the song,

that ain't no woman.

it's justin.

righto.
17:56

my god i just realised, it's been slightly more than a year since i was last picked up.

damn i really must have lost it.
00:31

right now i wish i was pregnant so i have an explaination for that thing of a stomach..
05:15

THURS MORNING
i had initially left my toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom in my basket of toiletries since i was in rush for class and didn't have enough time to put it back in my room. hiding my toothbrush behing my towering shampoo bottles, i completely forgot about my toothbrush.



SAT
but on sat night i discovered that my toothbrush was caked in toothpaste dripping. it was vile & disgusting! then it hit me.



the disturbing realisation that SOMEONE HAS BEEN BLOODY USING MY BLEEDING TOOTHBRUSH! HOW LOW CAN YOU GET! YOU'RE BEYOND VILE, BEYOND DISGUSTING! IT'S REPULSIVE!


*stomach lurches*


on friday morning, once again in my rush to be not so late for bio lab prac i didn't give much thought to the fact that my toothbrush wasn't where i left it.


ARGH i want to rinse out my alimentary canal with acid if possible. how gross.


it's so utterly sick running a mental list of the girls living along my corridor, any one of them could have used my toothbrush.


judging from the caked toothpaste trail on the brush handle, hygiene is one major thing she lacks.


gross.

even thinking about it makes my stomach contents (water, milk, vitamin C tablet and cookie) swirl and churn unplesantly.


SO..



had a rant to phil at 4 in the morning, then chucked out my relatively new pink toothbrush which the tell tale victim and my backup one i had left there in the bathroom for ages.

went to four (five) star to pick up toothbrush for phil and i.

toothbrushes aren't cheap! it was 5 dollars a pop!


anyway came up with the idea of scrubbing a fantastic brilliant revenge idea while giving alex a back massage.


the plan: to scrub the toilet/cistern/inside of sink pipes with our violated toothbrushes then placing them back so the unsuspecting toothbrush using perpetrator would use them!


leapt of falex, bounding across the corridor to the bin where i had chucked my 2 brushes. unfortunately the bin was emptied out.

so was quite anti climatic that i couldn't exact out my vengeful punishment on the evil deserving after all the wild crazy ideas that were popping out in my head!

.
.
.
.

met philly in the toilet getting ready for bed, then she chucked her own victimised toothbrush into the bin,
to which i excitedly picked it up giggled and humming dean martin's baby it's cold outside whilst i cleaned the rims of the toilet bowl, dipped it in the cistern, scrubbed the flap of the bin for sanitary napkins for extra good measure!


it was vile.
it was FABULOUS!


hahahaha!



heard a few ewww-s and saaaaaaaaaaaaaan-s in philly's silent laughter (yes it was quite a scene!) she was groaning at my ethusiasm and the thought of someone putting that into their mouth.. kept saying but san what if i forget [and use that toothbrush].

let's just say i made sure she'll NEVER forget.

*psychotic manical laughter*


a minute later i placed the "special toothbrush" back into philly's cup

her face spoke tales of disgust, horror and pure maniacal laughter at the thought of revenge being dished out!



i feel so empowered right now.



hahahahahaha..



hope you like toilet flavoured toothbrush!
00:11

For the first time, for the first time,
I'm in love
For the first time, for the first time,
I found love
From the moment I saw you I was in rapture
Every moment after that I've lived in the clouds
Come prima, come prima, I can thrill
Come prima, I love you and always will

You're the first one, yes the the first one
You're my one-and-only one
Come prima, come prima,
I'm in love

Come prima, più di prima, t'amerò
Per la vita, la mia vita ti darò
Sembra un sogno rivederti, accarezzarti
Le tue mani tra le mani stringere ancor!

Il mio mondo, tutto il mondo sei per me
E a nessuna voglio bene come a te...
Ogni giorno, ogni istante, dolcemente ti dirò:

Come prima... più di prima.... t'a-me-rò!

il mio mondo.. it reminds me of you.
first on my list and first for alot on my list.

MUACKS!
happy anniversary love.
19:48

ok i don't know what is going on in the heads of people who set the word limit for report assignments, but i can tell you for sure that it's pretty much stupidity going around in there.

why? you ask.


for our social report, it's a 1000 words including
introduction
methods
results
discussion

whilst for our cognition report
it's 1500 words for just
introduction
discussion

stupid right?
even my tutor had gripes with that.

and for biology.. with a 1000 word limit.
they have an unnecessarily comprehensive and utterly useless list on penalities regarding the word limit: i have reproduced this word for word.

2. OVER WORD LIMIT
751-800 words - 0.5 marks
801-850 words - 1.0 marks
851-900 words - 1.5 marks
more than 900 words - 2.0 marks

1001-1050 words - 0.5 marks
1051-1100 words - 1.0 marks
1101-1150 words - 1.5 marks
more than 1150 words - 2.0 marks


the wonderful thing about this stupid list is that there is no explaination as to the mark deduction system, so it's effectively usesless.

ok so we know it's a 1000 word essay so if i write 999 words i get a 2 mark deduction? so according to the list i'm better off writing 751 to 800 words cause it has the least penalities.

well that's what it's implying so i better write EXACTLY 1000 words lest i get penalised for that.

seriously. WTF!

oh yes and did you know that i'm extremely fluent in french to the extent that the school of biology holding my mastery of french in such high regard has given the students a pysiological reading for the above stupid biology report IN FRENCH!

thank you, thank you. i'm so flattered that you think so highly of my ability in other languages. merci beaucoup!
22:01

things i really hate.

someone who asks for my advice which took slightly more than an hr and a half, then bloody f**ks everything all up by doing exactly everything i said NOT to do.
then comes back later to waste my time asking for more advice, then goes back and does the exact same thing.

seriously WTF that super peeves me off.

or asks for a whole playlist of my songs then listens then keeps listening it to it in bits and pieces, not just 1, 2 songs but my WHOLE FREAKING PLAYLIST. it's bloody annoying.

if i'm blowing up cause of this, it's cause i've good reason to
13:09

random thought:
whenever i listen to 'a public affair' i feel really dumb (ditzy dumb) not in the sandra way but in an infruiatingly stupid way.
09:07

The very first song I could recall listening to was rhythm of the rain. Admittedly it was on a little white plastic portable gramophone that you pop in the glittery transparent plastic discs and press the colourful primary-coloured buttons to operate it.

anyway that song spurn me on to wish that one day, the love of my life (give me a break, i'm trying to write this from my thoughts and memories as a 4 year old) would write a masterpiece of a song about and for me.
through the years, i gathered songs that was like how I wanted my song to be along the lines of.

1. one more try - a1 (quite possibly my most fave soppy song)
   
2. if i can't have you - a1 (for sentimental reasons)
   
3. angels - Robbie Williams (the lyrics are so beautifully poetic)
   
4. the way you look tonight - Frank Sinatra (to appeal to my vain and whimsical old-fashioned side, like it since I was 12ish)
   
5. always on my mind - Elvis (see previous entry)
   
6. back for good - take that (the best and only good song by take that)
   
7. na sera 'e maggio - patrizio (when I'm all emotional this song can bring tears to my eyes, see the entry about this song)
   
8. cigarette lighter love song - marvelous 3 (makes it into an almost epic love song)
   
9. have I told you lately - rod Stewart (one of my earliest childhood songs)
   
10. blue - best in me
11. an jing - jay Chou

the songs are not in any particular order, except for patrizio, I just really like the number 7 and maybe 1 cause it really is one of my most fave songs.

haha yes that list is going in to the 'songs i wanted to be played at my wedding' list.

off-note: when I was 9 and had my van Gogh book I wanted a masterpiece of a picture painted for me, when I was 12 I wanted a pretty sculpture to be done of me, thus the name of my blog la petite danseuse.
09:32

i had a really crappy day.

really crappy.

couldn't sleep so i was up at 530, after a while i was all ugh.
i wasted a perfectly good rainy cloudy day which is finally cold enough so it's comfortable when i snuggled under my quilt to sleep but.. noOo i just HAD to wake up didn't i!


then went for a shower, WHO THE HELL IS UP AT THIS TIME SHOWERING!! so had to walk all the way to the other bathroom.
but maybe that was a good thing, i could have a nice warm relaxing leisurely shower in the magnificent white glistening marble bathrooms.

walking back from the bathroom when i dropped my stuff onto the floor IN FRONT OF SOMEONE.
my soap skidded out of its little soap box and went BLEAHAGHALGH onto the CARPET smushing about half of itself onto the grimy carpet.
it was runied so i had to chuck out a relatively new bar of soap which could have lasted me till the end of the year.
*annoyed*

so decided since it was still dark out, i would snuggle under my sheets listening to patrizio, he makes everything better ah sigh!

OH OH remembered that there was supposed some details about patrizio's second album forever begins tonight that was out. so eagerly got onto his website, ooOooOo what could possibly be on this cover?

gonna be very hard to live up to his first album cover, but with a voice that gorgeous and a personality to boot, i was all up! perhaps he'll use the black and white close up, his head tilted whilst mulling over something looking ever delectable.




SHOCK AND HORROR!
OMG OMG like OMG!
what is THAT on the cover!??!?!


the first thing is saw on the cover was his nose! it was very ROMAN!
ie VERY ROMAN EMPEROR!
did a mental roledex of all the roman coins, think his side profile resembles augustus.


well patrizio is the epitome of the stereotypical gorgeous italian men, you know. the whole italian god.
even ness and i had a couple of enjoyable digs about his 'that's amore' music video, it being so stereotypical of italians.

BUT WHY MUST HE HAVE AN ALBUM COVER THAT SCREAMS HORRORBEBLE INJUSTICE TO HIS GOOD LOOKS! it's too ROMAN!

okay me studying ancient roman history for the past 2 years, you know i LOVE everything roman.

i adore all things roman. my passion for all things italian cause of my ancient history background. like dean martin (ie dino paul crocetti) more than francesco sinatra, traditionally done pasta, limoncello, proscuitto, cured meats, roman mythology, roman ruins, italian artists, EVERYTHING! honour, the ideals of the ancient world. their love of their rich history and culture. everyone (esp the men) so sharply dressed, they are just oozing class without being overly pretentious cause they're simply so down to earth. they care about things that really matter. la dolce vita. oh man don't get me started on their love for food! man even their mafia is pretty admirable, if you can put the violence aside, underlying everything is the food, love, family, togetherness.
it's just the most idealised place i would love to live in. cause the old school aspect really does appeal to me. knowing me don't you think that i'm more italian than anything??

ah italia - it's so romantic. they examplify love at its greatest. everyone is just so full of life. so much more so than france which is so much more pretentious.

to the extent that i even refused to talk to ishy for a whole dinner when she said that the nobility of roman deaths were overrated and 'it so shit, so who cares about it'.

but THIS, BUT THIS! i draw the line at.
why must they take a side profile picture of him that belongs more on ancient coinage than on the cover of quite possibly one of the best albums in history?
(the first place obviously goes to his debut the italian)

they have a whole load of good FLATTERING pictures of him all over his website, so whatever in the world possessed them to put THAT on the cover.

as a result of this horrific discovery of what i hold in such high regard, i slumped back to bed depressed. even playing the best album ever released didn't help, neither did listening to his concert recordings do anything for me, cause he was one of the things that was making me very upset today.

in spite of all this, i'm still looking extremely forward to the day i can get my tiny pretty hands on his album and drive everyone sick of listening to him over and over and over and over and over again.

yay! this is the song list on the album as far as i know.

1. forever begins tonight (i have more than half the lyrics memorised after the concert)
2. let's make love (STOP gagging on that title!)
3. angelo (robbie williams angels cover in italian)
4. you don't have to say you love me
5. always on my mind

as ed can tell you the last 2 are my favourite two elvis ballads! ok not really, i prefered dusty springfield's original, elvis just sounds too elvis for you don't have to say you love me, but somehow i prefer that song being done by a guy instead.

but always on my mind is my all time favourite elvis tune. in sec 2 i played it alot, my friends were wondering what i saw in that song. wanted it to be played at my wedding.

ok admittedly, the time i really fell in love with that song was in an ally mcbeal episode when james marsden sang it for jenny as a birthday present. really do adore that song.

sigh ooh patrizio! why! oh why!

20:43

ok i'm meant to be doing the stupid maslow essay but i'm really bleah over it.
thoroughly entertained watching nikki play pacman, i was squealing/shrieking/basically making "alarming sounds" (my dad's term) when pacman was was about to be surrounded and eaten by the ghost thingys. haha then i showed her the pacman prank video that ed showed me early last year.

damn it's funny.
19:40

I've come to the conclusion that I get not so good hair days when I don't wash my hair right before bed time and sleep with hair partially damp.

my hair as just somewhat limp, shapeless sheets of black with the occasional bump which is masquerading poorly as a wave.

but this morning after I reverted back to my old sleep with damp hair routine, I see some semblance of curls! Albeit they're restricted to the bottom third of my hair near the ends. Hair is growing out =/ have to get my hair permed when I'm back in sg, but doubt that would be possible cause my mom's gonna kick up a big fuss about me 'forsaking my nice polished naturally straight hair to look like some washed out 50's star'.

very complimenting isn't she.

she's probably give in when I mention that I'll go to HER hairdresser to get my hair done. Otherwise I'll have no end from her incessant nagging about how the more 'young hip and trendy salons you [stupid/mindless/wasteful/stupid/frivalous/extravagant] teenagers go to' are such rip offs.. etc...

then knowing her she'll compare me to Janet, and me hearing that comparison would actually give in to her, knowing that if she's resorting to comparing me to Janet.

it must REALLY be bad
15:34

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

05:33

i did another version of the quiz which country would be the best for you to work in and it said paris.

with all the art galleries and culture. obviously. =)

but it was apparently somewhat against my personality, i might like the sophistication but it's the small simple things in life that i so appreciate and only the novelty has worn off paris might be too overwhelming with it being overly glamarous.

something along the lines which seriously you all would agree that very true.
20:46

edfworjflkowsdmvmaggagaggh!!

*waves arms around frantically* can't talk!

bity tongue! bloooud gushhing! not really!
but can taste bloody!
20:45

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

19:30

THAT IS SO TRUE!!
19:29

Your Career Personality: Original, Devoted, and Service Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Art director Book editor College professor ComposerGraphic designer Novelist Stage actor Psychiatrist Writer

Film director
02:37

some sardonically twisted Aunt Abby gone wrong and very humourous indeed.
i stumbled upon this in the mag that came with the weekend paper. think it was called good weekend, something along those lines.

Danny Katz answers readers' questions about 21st century ethics, etiquette and dilemmas.

did they urn my respect or was it just pier pressure?

QUESTION
Recently I was enjoying a spot of fishing off a local pier. A group or about 12 people came with an urn then tipped ashes off the side of the pier. Am I required to bring in my line as a sign of respect to the dead?

DANNY KATZ:
Unless you're a sailor or a mermaid or some blue green algae I don't know why anyone would WANT to be scattered at sea. I mean the ocean seems like such a scary and forbidding place to spend the rest of eternity - I'd much rather have my ashes scattered somewhere cosy like a kiddies sandpit ot between the loose cracks in my living room floorboards so I could finally stop that damn squeaking.
Still I suppose people have the right to be scattered anywhere they like but grieving relatives really need to consider a few things before they start tipping cremation urns into any waterside place.

For instance there's the issue of location: human ashes should NEVER be scattered at a busy public beach or off the high diving platform at an Olympic pool or anywhere near sewage treatment plants unless you want your dearly departed to wind up in a biosolids filter.

And weather conditions need to be considered too: there's nothing worse for a family than gathering on a bleak winter's day huddling on the edge of a seaside pier and with great solemnity and ceremony tipping their love one into the swirling briny ocean - then having a great gust of wind blow the ashes right back into their faces so everyone's coughing and choking and kids are running around going ahAAAhh I can taste grandma, AHHHH!
...

(skip skip skip some parts of the article...........)

And in answer to your question yes all fisherman should reel in their lines with human remains are being scattered nearby but not so much as a sign of respect - more just because you don't want to be catching any flatheads with that distinctive deliciously smoke Uncle Kev flavour.
12:34

You Are 45% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

03:39

Brothers and sisters are natural born enemies! like englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damned Scots! They ruined Scotland.

a line that isn't all that funny but i find it hilarious.
04:08

Alex, Sam, phip and I went out for dinner after discovering that dinner at sancta was 'the worst dinner EVER' (Alex) and that says a lot coming from her.

so there we were whispering conspiratorial at the soup cauldron, discussing possible dinner choices. yay last night shopping tonight so everything would be open till late.

Sam had a hankering for for sushi, she wanted to go to tomodachi (means friendship in jap) at Broadway. But town was chosen after Alex suggested we pop by max Brennan: bald man (which is the biggest rip off artist I know) for dessert.

brought them to 'express sushi train' in town which tomo had introduced me to, man the servings in sg are beyond pathetically pathetic when compared to aussie.
when Edgar brought me out for sushi buffet at cine, I was startled and absolutely indignant about the massive difference in serving size of the sashimi or whatever condiments (?) on the sushi.
the servings in sg were so.. anemic.
end up eating at long johns since we adore the chips there.

ANYWAY sushi train was packed, waited for 10 mins.
Alex had fried kisu (whiting) tempura, prawn tempura, and another 2 things I can't remember, she really doesn't like fish and cites tempura as one of her fave foods.
Sam got the avocado asparagus sushi, something else with avocado, karagi chicken and fried fish skins (which I finished off since she was too full, but I really enjoyed them)
phip ate 5 plates of vego options.
I ordered 2 karagi chicken and 3 unagi.
all of us got bottled fruit juices which I must say I really did like. probably cause it was all full of sugar and nothing much else.

talked about a whole myriad things, mostly about Freud,
sexuality (not sex per se),
swaroski crystals,
'wholesale' discount shops, basically those Singapore 2 dollar shop equivalents in aussie.
stalker behaviour/OTT boyfriends/bunny boilers,
ratio of sheep to people in new Zealand which is 6:1. then Alex bringing up my sheep shagging joke.

when we were talking about swaroski crystals, I had this random flashback of my dream where I was in lower octa in my white bathrobe and quickly pulling on my pale yellow trackies as soon as I heard someone approaching.

then trooped over to baskin robins (YAY) for old school American ice cream. it still beats gelato, so much creamier and the flavours are more interesting.
Alex had single scoop of praline.
phip had some chocolate based thing.
Sam had the audacity to ask if she should get a single cone or the sundae special which consisted of 2 scoops of your choice on a brownie base topped with hot chocolate and whipped cream.
to which we chorused in unison ' duh, sundaaaaaae! of course!'
I settled on mocha Jamaica and chocolate chip cookie dough.
fabulous combination.
was tempted to get a whole tub but decided against it in light of the recent spate of food theft against me.

my krafts singles cheese I have counted that they stole 21 out of 32 slices I had. taking 13 in one shot. hello! BLEEDING OBVIOUS!
the chiraz sorbet was the worst man.
HORRID HORRID COLLEGE PEOPLE!!
I don't care much for the milk since I nip it from the kitchen anyway.

ok to condemn them for stealing would make me a hypocrite as most of you would be aware of my more illustrious past.
okay so I have stolen a pair of shot glasses from the establishment. but man for the price we pay for a shot the least we could do is get to keep the glass! likewise for airplane stuff like socks/eye patches/magazines/newspapers.

but I draw the line at who you steal from.
establishment is fine cause it's a large money making corporation (ok corporation is a gross exaggeration but it's all I can think of right now) but they make loads, but that's not the thing.
the thing is that there you can't put or there isn't a human face to the victim.
my philosophy about larceny/theft is that you don't steal from other people cause somewhere your action directly affects someone. Leaving them upset once the initial anger has passed, I know how it feels.
hmm maybe that's good cause

so you all don't have to worry about me stealing from you guys.

I think I can attribute this code of mine to the time where the consequence of my theft did have a human face.

my mom.

it's a rather personal experience, but somehow I can truly say that it has shaped who I am.
01:10

at the bus stop we met eva, thomo, sara van. all on their way to the 'chopper cruise'.

all three of them were decked out in yards of gold sateen with free falling layers in the centre(something like how you would style your towel) and several layers of gold coins loosely hanging around their necks, reminded me of those chocolate gold coins ness and i used to have when we were younger.

they weren't in much else besides lots of body glitter and thongs (haviannas).
the theme of cruise party was 'sea world'.

so i casually asked 'are you all sirens? all look very pretty and sparkly'.

then sara van quipped 'ooooh sirens, good one. we should use that. but no, we're buried treasure.'

ahhh
that would explain the gold coins.

she turned to the other two and suggested they should say they're dressed as sirens.

man they're gonna be getting lots of lewd and suggestive (def cheesy) innuendos when they tell people what they were meant to be.

reckon it would along the lines of:

buried treasure eh.. yes i can see the nice chest it comes in/has/comes with.
buried treasure eh.. want me to dig you out?
buried treasure eh.. i could bury the family jewels in you
buried treasure eh.. want to see my family treasure?
buried treasure eh.. i could help unearth you
buried treasure eh.. i've got the key to unlock you right here (motions to his nether regions)
(something really crass like) so is the treasure dry or wet?

hmm always thought sara van's really pretty, she's so sweet and nice as well.

eva's the treasurer, for a while i did consider running for that position but was put off by the fact they have to attend house meetings EVERY week, go for all intercol meetings and lots of beauractic meeting rubbish.

so no thank you. but i'm still very keen on food sec.

quite honestly i'm perfect for the job.

• it entails having the girls liason with me about anything pertaining to food, their concerns and complaints.
• liason with the kitchen staff, it bodes well that i've good relationships with them and liked by all in the kitchen.
• in charge of decoration for special occasions like halloween, mother-daughter, father-daughter any sort of special luncheons, christmas dinner.

the thing that really that made me so keen on the job was the last point. i've got plenty of creative ideas already.
helps that i watch lots of discovery travel and living. argh i was so annoyed that as soon as i was leaving singapore they were going to start this series on some guy's decorating and entertaining show.

i love those sort of shows where they have such creative ideas for decorating and enteraining. part of my secret ambition is to be a socialite wife where i can host dinner parties. not huge ones, i like small intimate ones where people can truly mingle with each other and not feel lost or overwhelmed by the sheer size of all the guests.

i know some might be offended that i stated socialite wife, probably going in some of your heads, she doens't have to be married to host dinner parties etc. but somehow i rather like the idea of having a husband or at least a significant significant other at my small dinner gatherings. adds more of a homey feel, you know quiet domestic bliss without being all housewife-ish.

some feminists who would be outraged and object to someone who potentially would have degrees in psychology and another one in art history (and hopefully honours in psychology and some other postgraduate), being audaciously reduced to some mindless subseviant domestic slave instead of fufilling my potential. think mona lisa smile.

uuh to placate feminists hey i could be like angelina jolie from mr and mrs smith (well career wise of the character anyway).
be a fabulous housewive as well as succesful stockbroker or in my case museum curator or academic.

to quote samsung:

it's not that hard to imagine.
22:32

desk lamp's light bulb has blown.
have to replace soon.


wondering when the pretty dresses would be here by.
i love pretty dresses cause more often than not i look pretty in them.

brain's turning to mush right now.
all the bleeding's college's fault.
decided to have a stupid fire drill of all days.
at 6 freaking 30 in the morning i had problems sleeping the night before.
had barely gotten to sleep for 35 mins when there was an unusually suspicious beeps before the 'fire alarm'.
at the back of my head, suspected that it was a drill rather than a an actual fire.
was right.
but already too awake to go back to sleep.
ending up messing my entire sleep system.
so missed ancient history lecture, which to my horror peter DID NOT manage to record.
am screwed.
don't know what's going on in ancient history.
very very lost.
need heaps of help.

very sleepy now.
can't go to sleep yet cause i haven't showered
going to sleep uncomfortably on the floor now.
if i shoower i'll be less sleepy.
night.

owdsad
00:36

quote that i find more amusing then it really is.
it's the way it was said that made it funny, well to me anyway.

christina's husband isn't worthy of her..
instead she should marry ME!


20:49

the only saving grace of Freud.
from his 1931 paper on female sexuality.

in adulthood, the original wish for a penis changes into a wish for a man and thus puts up with the man as an appendage to the penis.
01:15

and so it is, i didn't accomplish any of the weekend goals i had set out for.

slept massive loads, but one thing i'm quite proud of is doing the first reading for mass!

it was about scones =/

my mom refuses to believe the bible uses such a word. but hey, it's meaningful that my first time ever contributing to mass i got to do one out of the only two humourous passages in the whole bible. even if it IS jewish humour.

yay this week i'm gonna be doing the offertory, it's just walking down the aisle to the altar and passing the priest the bread and wine.
at least i'm being active in church.

=) on the road on being a good christian.
17:37

plans for this weekend

1. go through all the psych lectures which is a good 10 hours of recordings.
2. free time, spend scanning the human biology lab book.
   it's seriously a waste of 20 dollars when 1 out of every 7-8 pages are blanks or have large useless asinine thing like don't forget to get your group members details down! so i'll be saving money and trees by selecting pages i need then printing them out.
   besides out bio lab books are for our own self reference.
3. researching, doing the readings and starting my psych personality essay due on the 28th.
4. get my insurance forms from mark.
5. take photos of my room to show ed the layout so he can advise me on how i should arrange and decorate my room.
6. seek lily's advice on what topics i should do for my ancient history essay and presentation.
   have to catch up and get my bearings on the 200 odd year gap between claudius being the last of the julio-claudian emperors and whatever time my damn course is taking place in.
7. try finding an impressionistic work that is similar to van gogh's starry starry night in the following aspects:

• spontaneity and vivid brushstrokes
• something with more emphasis on brushstrokes than subject matter
• has energy radiating out from it

basically i want something that i can easily do a copy off.

notes to self:

ask business office to top up my printing credit.
get the duty tutor to open the octa storage so i can get my printer/scanner/copier/fax machine

02:32

so pleased with myself, after looking through the poster sale today i felt so inspired about art again.

i was giddy with delight looking at all the prints of famous works and the more obscure ones that only a psycho art loving aep girl would learn and appreciate. haha i got giddy with just prints imagine if i was in the presence of the actual masterpieces i would just hyperventilate then *plop* pass out on the floor rather unglamarously into a tangle heap of limbs but without a doubt a smile of utter contentment and bliss on my face.
hahaha i really do want to be a museum curator or at least have a job there that entails me mostly gawking at the pictures in utter reverence.

uh somehow gawk and utter reverence doens't quite go in the same sentence. but that's just me.

only damperner on my euphoria was the disdain realising that the only van gogh piece they had in their entire collection was starry night over the rhone. please don't ask me to include the date it was done in, i've forgotten most of dates and stats like picture dimensions.

to think that in sec 1 and 2 i could recite the date every single european art piece and medium.

i swear!

to some loserfied extent i could even give you the art pieces titles in their original language, most of which was french. in pri 6, i aspired to migrate to france, travel europe become chic and sophisticated (more so than i already am, hehehe!) and run an established museum (now my dream is somewhat more realistic.


but to give myself some credit i do remember most of van gogh's dates and names of almost every single impressionistic work.

hmmm i got the most awesome 1930's print which is massive! and i really coudln't resist nipping a reproduction of monet's sunset in venice.

it was featured in thomas crown affair which is my favourite movie cause:
1. pierce brosnan (swoon!)
2. it revolved around impressionist works
3. there was a clever art hiest which would could give oceans' 11 a run for it's money
4. the casting of rene russo opposite brosnan was a work of pure genius
5. clever witty characters and script
6. more twists than a twisty twister twisting
7. perfect balance between romance, humour, attraction, suspense, wit and action
8. van gogh was mentioned
9. sailing!
10. pierce brosnan!

random thing, we've recently covered psychoanalysis and therapy in lectures and even more so i feel that his therapist was unnecessarily scatching.
02:05

yay! my love for blogger has been restored with the removal of the annoying word verification!

YAY!
14:40

couldn't catch a single wink the whole night, nevertheless i spent it lying in bed waiting for sleep to wash over me but that didn't happen.
so got up at 620 to go down for the college photo.
dressed in white collared blouse, black thigh high skirt and black stockings. topped with our ackers.

during the chilly winds i was fantasizing about warm hashbrowns and bacon that was awaiting us in the dining room.
that was what got me through the cold.

imagine my disappointment when THERE WAS NO HOT BREAKKIE!

alright, then all isn't lost at least i can always go and scramble a couple of eggs and whip french toast for my friends and i but there wasn't even any eggs!

what the hell!

it was FREEZING after having to leave the refuge of my nice warm bed for the blistering early morning cold in barely anything.
and you couldn't even provide eggs today!

ARGH


anyhoo i'm pretty sure that my slight temperature i'm suffering from now originated from that evil event.

so everything in my head is disjointed curt words.
which is obviously reflected in this entry.

i'm off to talk to my little kitty pooh then sleeping off the fever.

nighties!
12:49

seriously contemplating if i should be one of the fairy extras in the sancta/john's production of midsummer night's dream.

would it be degrading to be a fairy extra of a JOHN"S play, even if it is a combined college event.

pros and cons

cons:
i really find the play irritating. didn't really help that in sec 2 we did it for the ELDDS drama night. remembered Mrs Alex commenting that the page boy was extremely curvacious . she was either refering to the tights clad jojo or judith.

the only saving grace of that event was that i was granted head production manager. come to think of it it's a fancy title to say servant person but with power.
i quite liked the position, i could everyone around.. well almost everyone.
fortunately, or unfortunately my absoulte control only extended to the juniors and fellow sec 2 girls. most of my then seniors would more or less listen to me, but they had the option of not.

quite honestly i find midsummer night's dream one of dear bill's most annoying plays. the thing that still bugs me is, even after puck undoes the effects of the love potion on Titania, there's no mention of what she does to get back her indian page boy (offspring of one of her worshippers) after realising that her stupid husband Oberon the decitful bastard used underhanded trickery to get her to hand over the said child.

seriously how it is a comedy? it seemed more like one of his greatest tragedies from the fact that it didn't end right after what's her name defied her father's request to marry what's his face and continued.


pros:
fufil the vow to myself that i would be more active in college life this year, i already missed out on the tennis and rowing tryouts. my knee is erratically starting to act up again so i don't know how i'll do for the atheletics. i've got speed but the crappiest of stamina's. it still amazes me how i can do the 100m and not die.
room points so i would get a slightly better pick of rooms if i'm not at the bottom again.

YAY i get to dress up! i love dressing up! yay faries are pretty!!

looks i'll be playing a fairy then!
00:01

ever since I watched the trailer and found out more about lake house, it seemed like the whimsical romantic film I had been craving for to fill the long void of simple romantic movies since while you were sleeping, which incidentally was a Sandra bullock feature as well.

i'm gonna get ed to watch it with me, haha you've been warned love. trust me it's loads better than lake house.

i'm also sorry for making you waste your precious limited time and money by wanting to watch that stupid movie so badly (i didn't know it was going to be bad).





quite honestly I don't like those movies that have too much overlapping story lines,

i prefer just a clear uncomplaining one of girl meets boy, love's transgression slipped in, bit of melancholy and forlorn, bittersweet, and sentimental.
something that appeals straight to the heart yet with a whimsical touch to gleam upon the romance hidden inside each of us.

sigh the whimsical ideals of romance and fancy have very sadly been buried under the avalanche of jaded cynism and wariness of the cruel realities of life one would have in most likelihood experienced along the way.
it's rare to encounter anyone who believes the best in people and what they can achieve from all that good tucked away inside them. I would like to think that I am one of these elusive few.

continuing.. most of all, something which I consider the must of all films/stories is charater development. One can't emphatise for the characters if you've only had a shallow introduction to them. bah to all the glitzy special effects if the characters are one dimensional with no depth or personal nature I say.

http://www.dancingeyes.net/default.htm


the book that inspired this entry is sophie dahl's man with the dancing eyes. the illustrations doesn't do her charater and this brilliant novella justice.
it's poetic without being try hard or pretentious. it epitomizes every ideal of a romance work that i mentioned above.
the man with dancing eyes just entrances you and gives you hope about love and life. it's rivieting stuff that quite frankly makes you giddy with all the optimism and romantic ideals it fills you with.

her words are almost lyrical. she captures the quirks of everything so beautifully, just remiscent of her grand dad roald dahl.


ooh i just love fairytale happy endings

the world needs more of them, it may be unrealistic

but like I said,

i'm an idealist.
02:17

BLOODY HELL RIGHT NOW I"M BLOODY PISSED WITH BLOGGER! I TRIED PUBLISHING THE ENTRY I HAD SPENT THE LAST 50mins TYPING AND THE WORD VERIFICATION THING JAMMED OR SOMETHING AND I LOST EVERYTHING I HAD ADDED UPON THIS ENTRY!

ARGH! TWICE IN 2 DAYS! STUPID WORD VERFICATION!

so you'll just have to accept the intial draft of this entry. argh i'm just so annoyed right now damn it.

Read several reviews and summaries of Jane austen's work after recalling lake house. of which the inconsistencies to this day still nag me.

this entire entry consists of spoilers. Go to my earlier entry directly above this one for a related entry without spoilers.

1. there are several references to the attic where there lies a mysterious dusty old box, from all the numerous external shots of the lake house, you can clear see that there is improbable for an attic to be included in the house's structure unless the attic has an extremely low ceiling which didn't seem the case from the shots when keanu reeves visited the attic briefly.


2. took a liking to the song which played in the background whilst Alex and Kate were dancing in the yard in 2004 and found out that it's Paul mc cartney's it's never happened before from his 2005 album chaos and creation in the backyard. And so that would be anachronistic.
I considering getting the album for my mom as her birthday present, him being her favourite beatle and all.
00:43

Last night when I was wrapped snug in a fluffy terrycloth bathrobe perched on the foot of my bed, ed asked.

seriously what do you want to do when you're older?

with all honesty I replied well I want to be a..

museum curator.

for either an art or historical museum in Europe, preferably in France, Italia (Roma) or England. or any country steeped deep in cultural and art history.

only limit would be modern art, I refuse to be anywhere near those really ghastly rubbishy post-modern art ones that require no talent, or any art fads that just come and go with the tide.
or perhaps a restorer of old art pieces, now that would really take the cake.

well he DID ask what I wanted to do, it's a want, doesn't mean I can get it but those are my ideal jobs.

hmmm maybe on a slightly more realistic note, probably would end up at the casino. oh sorry I mean integrated resort.
not old enough or even look the least bit intimidating to be one mean pit boss. So that's out. But it would have been interesting to observe first hand gambling psychology.

I think I could quite possibly be best suited to be a host there. it's unanimous that my sister and I are excellent hostesses. We're warm, friendly, intuitive, willing to go that extra step to make your visit to our house or even college room as pleasant as possible.
she's the more hyper one of us two, and a highly reputable cook.

but I have an edge over her, I'm naturally persuasive, thinks very fast on my tiny toes and devious!
so that would come in handy to poach high rollers and keep them very happy with the casino. Man I' ve been watching too much las Vegas. But it's goOooOood.

yeah.. Something along the lines of a host that would be fabulous.

ness and I put the HO back in hostess!
12:58



can you see the tumbleweed tumbling in the abandoned old west town that my blog has now become?

cause i can.
11:31

Last night I had done this really heartfelt entry, unfortunately there was some complication with the word verification below and so that entry couldn't be published or even saved.

huh?? What word verification?

it's not a usual addition to entry publication or saving as I discovered from ranting to ed about losing that entry. It was amusing to learn that my blog was recognized as a spam blog by
..'their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text..'

haha can't blame them for this false positive cause my blog at times, I mean, most times is irrelevant, repetitive and nonsensical.

uhhh the above false positive is saying that something is happening (spam blog) when it's not. so they're incorrectly rejecting the null hypothesis that this is a normal person blog and accepting the alternative hypothesis that it's a spam blog.

this would be an example of a type 1 error. haha, see you can apply statistics to real life not only for psych stats analysis.

p.s this is soOoOoo strange, i was running a spell check and the word blog keeps getting picked up as a spelling mistake!

09:09

When I was unpacking my room, I was thinking what 'tests' could you put people through to reveal the true extent of their friendship/relationship to you.

simple: unleash my family upon them.

and so it was the very first victim was dear dear Edgar.
hey sweetie I just realized from typing the above sentence that your name is dear with an extra g!
somehow it's strange calling him Edgar since my siblings and I have been calling him eded since.. Well forever!
actually since my sister met him at my GKA 4 years ago.
has it been really 4 years since I started learning how to sail?? gosh it didn't feel like it. hmmm maybe next december eded and I can go and coach GKA, he'll obviously want to teach the more advanced ones and I would go straight for the opti classes.. gosh the kids are simply adorable!

as you all know I want kids, at least 3! and adopting another 2.

well my mom told all 3 of us off for calling him eded
'stop calling him eded! he has such a nice name Edgar.
eded sounds like you're calling a little dog. alright?'

so we have to address him as Edgar... at home that is.




anyway I digress.

back to the story of the endurance test of eded.
the poor boy spent several Saturdays hanging around my house with my family milling around him, incorporating him into their own individual interests which unknowingly to them could be considered cruel and unusual torture.

it was like watching a horror reality tv unfurl. ratings should be rather good.



15:58

something from i not stupid 2 that tugged on my heartstrings

F ather
A nd
M other
I
L ove
Y ou
13:34

hello blog remember me?
it's sandra.
sandra who??
it's san who hasn't updated you in almost a month. yes, that's me.
i'm sorry for neglecting you for so long, you know how it is when i'm back home in sg i never update you for so many reasons.
the com takes too long to start up with all the norton anti virus setting up
or the fact that mom and dad need the com for church accounting/admin and work respectively
or that ness is looking up more recipes or reading about dear jamie
or derek's ... anime viewing.

those excuses aside, i reckon one of the main reasons why it seemed i had forsaken you was the tv. so many channels!

sadly mom cancelled cartoon network and nick. be comforted my heart!

how am i to watch foster's home for imaginary friends? oh bloo!
or fairy odd parents or any of the cartoons i have grown to love.

is that some attempt by her to force me to grow up and stop being so childish (her choice of words, i think the word for me is childLIKE rather than childish.) then again poney doesn't really help my case much.

ah well now that i'm back, everything's going to go back to normal with the usual daily or once every 2 days updates since i no longer have the tv to keep me company through the long days.

bleah to textbooks!
12:59

it's been eons since i last updated which was several days before the evil exam period, i hope i do well ie pass for everything with at least a credit in stats.

been spending my nights watching matches and the days sleeping it off.

italia all the way!
13:30

gosh i'm so oh no about the sweden vs england game, please please please get through sweden!!

i'm even more oh no oh my gosh i'm so dead over my math which is in 8 hours time. i'm so damn screwed!!

God save me.







i hate biology
22:51

It amazes me, everytime I listen I listen to na sera e maggio, (an evening in may) it seems that I'm listening to totally new dimension of it. I've no idea what the song is about exactly, even the short description of this song by patrizio about it being about 2 lovers.

somebody promises their partner that they will be together forever, but one day in May she leaves without explanation.

why?

one of saddest songs I've ever heard, god it's so beautifully sung with such deep moving rousing sincerity leaving me in awe.

it's haunting with pure simple but masterful delivery really showing the brilliance of his voice using every vocal colour he's been blessed with leaving listeners in deep reverence.
just the rich mellow resonance of the guitar (which i think is a spanish one) he playing it during the concert really tugged at my heart strings as his fingers grazed the strings with the gentlest of touches whilst he was thinking of his late father throughout the song.

to me na sera e maggio conjures up images of a gorgeous evening in Roma with cobblestone stradas, with passing gondolas on the placid waters, the delicious aromas of freshly baked warm bread /pastries /fresh produce /pastas /wooden baked pizzas /spices /sundried tomatoes /expresso /freshly ground coffee beans etc wrapping their seductive tendrils around you, beckoning you to just be entranced and fall in love wholeheartedly with the country so steeped in culture and history.
or sometimes, the song paints a slightly downcast day right after some rain, you can anticipate that the weather would soon match the lover's tender broken heart, the pain of unrequited love. unexplained unrequited love.
if she had given him some reason, he could get over her much more easily with anger or melodramatic anguish, but to live his life wondering of a love that could have been and ended up as not, for reasons that would always be unknown to him.




the great unknowns about love is what scares me the most.
19:19

don't have to check soccernet to know that aus got trashed by brazil
know why?

2 very simple answers:
1. it's brazil for crying outloud, aus ain't gonna beat the golden team, no offence but it's true
2. the streets are deadly quiet as i type this (it's bout 10 mins since the end of the match)
the last time (well the first time actually) aus beat japan there was manicial cheering and blaring of horns that lasted through for almost 3 hours.

oh well at least they'll progress to the next round.

good luck next time socceroos.

haha i like ronaldihnooo (you'll get it if you watch kongfu mahjong 2)
02:02

ok i like totally hate myself for only watching the 1st half of the italy and US game, planned to take a quick name during half time but slept through it damn it!

nevermind derek taped it for me. thought it would have been 1-0 in italy's favour but how they hell could the US tie with one of football's giant???? w-freaking-tf

a bloody nose??? deja vu totti!
3 red cards a wowser
sadly most of the players weren't very good looking to begin with =( otherwise i wouldn't have fallen asleep, HOW COULD I MISS THE BEST BITS!!
16:32

this post isn't procrastination..

ok maybe it is, but it has something to do with biology exam prep for evolution, i really should just say that i can't do this contentious aspect of biology citing reasons of religion.
hey it's a plausible cause i seriously believe in creationism.
but that would be very unscientific of me won't it?

but my stand is more on the middle ground but still closer to the creationism end of the spectrum.
i believe that god created man and most creatures as they were though slightly less sophisticated, it is here where evolutionary comes in. shaping through natural selection and other evolutionary processes we are what we are now. even now we're still evolving so to speak.

putting in something a bit more academic so i can kinda justifiy that this blog is study related.

chatacter state reversal and convergent evolution (both of which are technically homoplasy since they rise of similiarities in characteristics between different species do not reflect evolutionary relationships)
eg streamlined body shape between sharks and dolphins

ok so the whole point of this biology related entry is on occam's razor as the basis for accepting the phylogenetic hypotheses created.

It is often used between alternative explanations for something, especially where no one alternative has been either proven or disproven. But what is it?

Many people will tell you it says, "Choose the simplest solution".
and that was the case of the biology lecturer who states again in her notes that occam's razor 'translated mean the simpler one is preferred'.needless to say indignant me (who could more or less figure out the latin phrase) was getting worked up in my seat as her oversimplification did not embody the original meaning of the razor as occam's razor literally translated from

Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate

to

plurality should not be posited without necessity.

i had the general impression that it meant 'complicated without necessity' or unnecessarily. forgive my latin, i'm mostly self taught with formal education being from ancient history and extra cirrcular latin from my ancient history tutor in uni.

anyway his razor doesn't say choose the simplest solution.

however the latin needs to be interpreted for modern context cause most people sure as hell won't get exactly what it's trying to say unless you like interpreting things like shakespearean literature. got this from a website that revamped the saying to:

Do not invent unnecessary entities to explain something.

the example is also taken from that above site, find it quite funny really.

Suppose I have a cat. One night, I leave out a saucer of milk, and in the morning the milk has gone. No one saw who or what drank the milk. Lets say there are two possibilities:

1. The cat drank it
   or
2. The milk fairy drank it

Occam tells us to reject option 2. This is because option 2 requires us to invent an unnecessary entity - the milk fairy. It is an invention because we have no proof that the milk fairy exists. And it is unnecessary because there is a plausible explanation that does not require the milk fairy - the cat. (We know he exists.)

Note: we haven't proven that the cat drank the milk. Or disproven the milk fairy option. Strictly speaking, we keep an open mind about both options. But Occam says that if you insist it could be the milk fairy, you have invented an unnecessary entity. And why would you do that?

Note also that strictly speaking, both solutions are equally simple. The cat hypothesis is only simpler in that you haven't had to invent a new, unproven entity. Also note that there are additional options that we could choose if we abandon Occam. For example, it could have been ghosts, or aliens, or the boogieman or Santa Claus. Why choose one of these over the others when there is an equal lack of proof for any of them?

Occam Applied

Occam can be applied to a myriad of supposed paranormal events, including ghosts, psychics, UFOs, people who talk with the dead, reincarnation, the soul, spoon benders, near death and out of body experiences. Usually, the paranormal explanation for these phenomena cannot be disproven, and this is often given as the reason we should consider the paranormal explanation. But Occam says go with the natural explanation for now, until any new evidence challenges it. But if there is a natural explanation and you believe, without proof, that the paranormal one is possible, you are inventing the milk fairy.

argh studying for bio is so annoying!
considering getting a priest to sign a special consideration form stating that the evoltuionary theory is against my religion

16:22

in the whole spirit of the world cup!

OLE OLE OLE OLEEEE!

haha it's easy to get swept up in the whole festivities, the streets and people are buzzing with the excitement of the multiple world recording breaking australian vs japan match.
i was support japan simply cause the aussie supporters here outnumber the japan supporters by at least 90,000:1. think it might be more but i'll settle for this more conservative estimate.
to think of it, aus really deserved that massive victory last night.
they have so many EPL players, seria players, UEFA. the big leaguge ones!
and singapore the wonderful team that boasts of the player who had TWO FREAKING OWN GOALS IN A GAME! they actually beat japan 2-1
-_-''

WTF


anyway cahill's kinda cute in the giggs kinda way, or one of the liverpool players from so many yesteryears ago. no offence aussies but seriously what's the big deal with harry?
yes he's much loved by the nation..
but for what exactly!???!?!
cahill's the one you all should have had your eyes on.
suspect the whole world is going to sit up and pay him attention after last night's breathtaking performance by him.

totally forgot that today was the 13th ed's formal dinner thingymagig,
he rang me up which was an extremely pleasant surprise, to which he was on the receiving end of my mad barrage on the match last night. seriously.

wtf

3 goals in the final 8 minutes? that's record 1 broken
2 goals by the same player cahill in 4 minutes! record 2
1st team to ever win a match on their 2nd world cup entry

then again the world cup is never what you would expect anyway.
last world cup, senegal the then unknown team beat golden favourites france.

think it was extremely poignant that the commercial break right during half time was the nike ad that had some senile bald wrinkled old dude who stole yoda's wardrobe standing on the top of the empty bleachers hurling abuse at some of the australian players.

'blah blah brazil.. kick.. your ass.. you don't even know what (mumbles some unintelligible phrase which i reckon is brazillian) is! *cackle cackle cackle*!

and as all nike ads go, they do some fancy footwork after one guy gives the 'yo, let's show HIM what we're all about' nod, and the cliched yet very spectacular side kicky thingy while in midair (that's ALWAYS in slow mo *rolls eyes*) and whack the old dude right off the bleachers.

OMG we like so didn't see all of THAT coming, like OMGosh!
*rolls eyes again and stops lest optic nerve snaps from too much eye rolling*

2 dramatic dun dun! then the nike splotch:

'stuff history!'
we'll make our own!

indeed that was one, i mean 3 claims proven!

viva la italy!!

haha and australia too mate!

09:51

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore

Bells willl ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing Vita bella
Hearts willl play tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreamin', signore
'scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore

(When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie, that's amore)
That's amore
(When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore)
That's amore

Bells will ring

ting-a-ling-a-ling
ting-a-ling-a-ling

And you'll sing "Vita bella"

Vita bell-vita bella

Hearts will play
tippi-tippi-tay, tippi-tippi-tay

Like a gay tarantella

Lucky fella

When the stars make you drool just like pasta fazool
That's amore (that's amore)
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming, signore
'scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's amore
10:24

when the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore

when you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray.

obviously you would know that the 1st line was from dean martin's massive trademark hit 'that's amore'. was reading the Callahan touch that made really bad puns on his song and I couldn't stop laughing at the 2nd line above, it's one of the most amusing butchering of classics there is!

on another note, blast! For not being able to do the 'that's amore' bit of the song right sound like I'm trying to do a bad impersonation of a male baritone singer. Then again it's alright, the song started out as an affectionate ribbing against the Italian-American stereotype with the whole overkill of Italian imagery and madolin scoring. Besides he didn't even bother trying to pronounce the Italian phrases in authentic Italian accent, (though he was raised speaking Italian), instead he opted for an American trying to bumble out the Italian accent which is rather endearing if you think of all the underlying effort and stories behind such classics.

apparently the line
when the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool'

is still debatable on whether it is jocularly either the best or worst rhyme in the history of music
that is the bilingual rhyme of drool and fazool
since the Neapolitan (Naples eng. or napoli Italian.) dialect word for beans is fasule.

interestingly enough, there ISN"T an Italian version of this song, so as a good natured retaliation from the Italians they perform it in its English entirety returning the American dig at them in the first place.

bet it was something you never knew.......

anyhoo I do the rest of the song rather well, even if I do say so myself. Last month when I was serenating jen at the ice cream counter with the whole

in napoli where love is king, and boy meets girl here's what they say...

with dramatic failing of arms, some random sancta fresher commented that it's a really good version, holding the lower notes quite well. haha she very fortunately didn't get to me trying to belt out the that's amore lines.

yesterday after the stupid brain and behaviour tutorial quiz (which I reckon I did quite atrociously) I was prancing around in the rain (actually it was more like a storm) stomping into wet puddles in the oval, spinning around gaily and twirling the umbrella - singing at the top of my lungs
that's amore,
an evening in roma,
spanish eyes,
quando quando quando,
witchcraft,
fly me to the moon
and ended with a man without love

ahhh.. my wonderfully gloriously happy mood a stark contrasting to the surrounding grey dreay weather, I like the rain, it's cloaks and encloses you so whatever singing you want to do no matter how wretched, go on and do it.
no one can hear you anyhow.

people wonder how I can be so annoyingly happy, chirpy with so much energy and life.
it's my hopeful optimism they hate.

whatever others say
I like that about me, fine they might think I've constantly popping my massive stash of anti depressants or E or some happy drugs anything that makes me insanely happy and joyous.

reminds me of what nikki said when I was serendaing her at the ice cream counter (dont' know why my singing side keep gravitating towards the ice cream counter) so she was digging out the cappucino and chocolate chip ice cream whilst I was providing the background music of....

winter wonderland

ha ok I know you're losing respect for me as I'm seemingly losing my mind. But I don't think I am.
then again most crazy people don't know they're crazy.

hahahah you can tell I'm in one of my very happy for no reason moods
so ANYWAY she was giving a mock scowl on how happy I was, and the perculiar choice of song. well it was rainy and usually in equatorial countries we get Christmas during heavy massive raining seasons (similar to the one I experienced today) thus the song selection. She and Sam hate me for getting that song stuck in their heads.

then at the dining table when Sam mentioned 'when when when' to which I automatically replied quando quando quando and nikki who very hilariously broke out of her nikki space outs to say 'michael buble?'
don't know how we got onto tom jones and I blabbed out
oh I LOVE tom jones
wait, did I just say I LOVE tom jones?

laughing ensued then I couldn't resist but break out into it's not unusual using my ice cream cone as the mike..
then we almost died of laughter after I did the most horrid rendition of the part
it's not unusual to find that I'm in love with you
WOAH -OH OH OH OH OH OH OOoOOoOhHHhhHhHhh.

as I was bouncing and leaning back with every OH I was half on the floor and half on the chair, the table and I alike in mad fits of laughter..

I LOVE tom jones..
23:54

once and for all i've switched to firefox. really was the last straw when internet explorer crashed 11 freaking times on me today!!!!
extremely annoyed besides the firefox logo is so much prettier!
yay i'm very pleased with firefox =)

cutey cutesy pretty foxy!

p.s and seriously what's with the word verfication on blogger?
apparently it's to ensure that computers don't post entries (right.......)
21:18

some little known facts about me:

-about 4 years ago before my confirmation i shortlisted certain names i wanted as my middle name however the churchy people rejected them since they weren't
1. saint names
2. and my reasons for wanting them were deemed extremely frivalous:

gisele (thought and still think the model is gorgeous)
jolie (cause it means 'pretty' in french)
elise (it's such a delicate sounding name)
charlize (like how the 'lize' dies off on your tongue)

hindsight note: never really noticed till bout last year they all have l's and end with e.

-2 years ago my dad seriously considered buying this quaint vineyard in hunter valley as nice getaway-retirement-holiday place.

- had my first handphone (illegal one) in june right after the thai trip

- my favourite french fries are from long john silvers along with their battered chicken
favourite snack is macdonald's chicken nuggets

- i adore chocolate cigars

- keep sneezing whenever there's ammonia nitrate or my nose gets very irritated around body shop's oceanus collection

- lilies are one of the prettiest flowers around but they STINK!

- first soft toy was a 'radioactive green' beaver with a neon yellow nose, white shirt and flourscent underpants

- add honey and sugar to my cereal

- rather proficient at knife throwing (the koi canvas piece in my grandparent's house is testiment to that)

- think daisies are such happy, cheery, friendly flowers

- ate random leaves in the garden as a child
18:43

last night ed thought i lost it when i threatened to sever all ties/never ever talk to again/disown/not be his date for his commissoning ball if he..

KILLS THE POOR BUNNY! (well hare, but STILL!!)

edgar chia hongzhe, i will KILL YOU if you kill the poor bunny in brunei.
so you better ask them to let you kill other stuff, kill another 2 quails or something, i don't really care, just don't kill the poor bunny.

=(
14:40

michaelbackman@yahoo.com
www.michaelbackman.com


KIASU is the term Singaporeans use to describe the unpleasant side of their culture. Acting in a kiasu manner means being greedy, unwilling to share and insensitive to others. Many Singaporeans feel this is a good description of the Government and its approach to power. The winner-take-all attitude is out of step with other nations.


No one can deny that Singapore is an easy place (although not necessarily a good place) to do business, compared with its neighbours.


Singapore scores highly on Transparency International's Corruption Perceptions Index: it is ranked No. 5 of 158 countries. The Global Competitiveness Report ranks Singapore No. 6 of 117 economies.


The Government likes to broadcast these figures. But it doesn't broadcast that it executes more people per head a year than almost anywhere else. Reporters Without Borders has Singapore No. 140 of 167 countries for media freedom.


It is as if Singapore is more a ruthless corporation than a country with a civil society, its people more employees than citizens, and its broadsheet, the Straits Times, more like a staff bulletin than a newspaper. As a Singaporean diplomat once told me, "We don't have journalists in Singapore; only propagandists."


Increasingly, people around the world are beginning to laugh at Singapore; they laugh at its Government's petty and self-serving restrictions on what people can and cannot do. But in Singapore, many people are unaware of this because the Government-controlled media feed them a diet of only good news stories.


Race relations are often used as an excuse for restrictions. But Singapore has one of the most homogeneous race profiles in the world: 77 per cent are Chinese, the rest comprise Malays and Indians. Singapore does not have the racial complexities of many countries.

The Maria Hertogh case is cited as an example of how Singapore is on the edge racially, and used to justify various restrictions. Rioting erupted among Malays after a court allowed a Dutch girl who was raised as a Muslim to be returned to her Catholic parents. This was 56 years ago.

No viable opposition has been allowed to form, and without robust national debate Singaporeans are becoming politically de-skilled. Accordingly, the Government comprises plenty of ministers but few politicians, and there is little elegance to their art. They know only how to clobber: too often alternative viewpoints are responded to with public humiliation, threats, defamation writs and detention. Business should consider these aspects and not just competitiveness when assessing Singapore as a place for investment.

The Singapore Government hates people like me commenting on what it regards as its internal affairs. It hates it because foreigners cannot be controlled. But that does not stop the Singapore Government from intruding in the internal affairs of other countries.

Eddie Teo, Singapore's new high commissioner to Australia, has written letters
to The Age critical of my recent columns. This is the first time Mr Teo has lived outside Singapore in 35 years and no doubt he finds a free media refreshing.

In one letter, Mr Teo claimed Singapore's defamation laws follow the English model. He is wrong. The British government does not sue opposition politicians so they are bankrupted and cannot run for parliament. If the British are to be blamed for Singapore's laws, then they can be blamed for Singapore's economic success. It was they who established Singapore as a free-trade port, which has made Singapore rich.

He says Singapore has a good legal system. That is true, but only compared with Indonesia, the Philippines, China and Thailand. Laws that have not had the benefit of open public debate and passage through a robust parliament are not really laws but decrees.
Rule of law becomes rule by law and many things are possible. Execution without a jury trial is one; torture is another.

Geoffrey Robertson, QC, writing last month for the Open Democracy Foundation, describes how torture was used in Singapore in the 1980s. A group of young lawyers, Catholic aid workers and women playwrights were rounded up by Singapore's Internal Security Department and detained without trial because they were suspects in an alleged Marxist conspiracy. They were not terrorists, they were political activists. The worst they seemed to have done was distribute Marxist literature.

They were deprived of sleep, doused with cold water and blasted with refrigerated air. The torture was not physical and left little evidence, which was its point. Instead, it was psychological and left what Robertson terms the Singapore scar. The minister then responsible for the ISD was Lee Hsien Loong. He is now Singapore's Prime Minister.

And who headed the ISD and Defence Ministry's Security and Intelligence Division for much of the 1980s? Eddie Teo, Singapore's high commissioner to Australia, the man who now enjoys our media freedoms, but who has spent much of his career denying Singaporeans similar freedoms.

Some might regard that as kiasu.
13:55

nYou said my influences are 'too European' but that's the result of my aspirations since I was young.
you may say that I'm being an elitist or snob or that it's a class divide. I don't think it's that.

fine I'll list out all my influences I've ever had and you see how I should have ended up then!

one of the first books I ever read was about van Gogh, his life, his works, his inspirations. Fine it may have been that I took an initial liking to him since he was my grandfather's namesake and they practically brought me up for the first 8, 9 years. But no other artist has ever moved or inspired me as so.
instead of working with my very close group of friends in sec 1 for our aep European history class on Renoir, I opted for van Gogh with some other girls who I was then just acquainted with.
my love for van Gogh trumped my loyalty to my friends.
those very same girls who shrieked out:

poor poor Renoir whatcha gonna do?
irene's died on you hey whatcha gonna do?

were absolutely lovely, they bought me loads of stuff from the Europe trip. I've a silver rimmed double mirror compact with a glass print of van gogh's painting of his room
pen with his iries
postcard booklet of his works
and his Japanese prints


anyway ballet was another thing. All I wanted to be was the prima donna ballerina performing in Europe which I rightly believed was the epitome of class, history, culture and romance. read books on Russian ballerinas, didn't mind waking up at 6 in the morning to catch a ride to school for ballet classes at 10 even when I was 7.
young children don't do things like that unless what they've got driving them is so powerful.

of all my family trips I enjoyed most, Spain and Barcelona took the cake. To be immensed in such unique culture, architecture firsts and the way of life. Good lord not to mention the food! haha I was bingeing on all the black olives in sight, my mom thought my snobby side emerged during that trip when I kept relating everything back to art history, wondering why I couldn't update my wardrobe to be more chic, while I whined for French ice cream, wanted to eat and live like the locals. The trip was this giddy exhilarating reverent experience for me. For the first time I was in Europe! Didn't mind that everything was so restricted by the mere presence of my father who embodied overprotectiveness and paranoia.

honestly to this day, some part of me is still angry at my dad for not letting me go on the Europe trip when I was sec 1 citing reasons that he would not be able to control what happens to me (HELLO! It's that the whole dogma of life? You can't lock me up in a box in the basement just so you could protect me from the world 24/7). I could have been enjoying the sunsets amongst the ancient ruins, artistic ingenuity, the place where all art and culture stemmed from.
I was missing out a pivotal point of my life!

Frank Sinatra, Al Martino? they were my main music influences that persisted all through the passing phases of Kylie and Rod Stewart, (both of which since enjoyed a revival), Mariah Carey, beatles (?), Michael Jackson (courtesy of my cousin Stephanie).
gosh come to think of those were the only things I ever listened to till I was 15!

14 was the begining to the crooners of tom jones and engelbert humperdinck which to this day still persists albiet everyone say that it's very unfashionable but heck i'm me and i'm old school! i like entertainers, the flamboyant energy and how they work up audiences into a frenzy and the charisma they exude. not many can do that.

haha PATRIZIO CAN!


of course 15 marked the onslaught of a1 and norah Jones. not forgetting the tacky 70s songs that jo, grace and I used to dance and belt to during robotics ahh sigh!

I've been maintaining for the past 10 years (or some equally insane long time) that:

I adore the idea of dainty and elegant gloves, floaty chiffon dresses, or lacy tulle, wide brim ladies hats.

for the fellas - polished black Italian leather shoes, cologne dabs behind the ears, slightly long hair that's minimally styled just to give the appearance of tousled, smart dress shirts and suits, long black socks a must whilst cuff links are optional, suspenders/braces are a bit extreme so I prefer morning jackets or cummberbands (which only a very select fortunate few can pull off ) but most of all.. A self tie bow tie is an absolute necessity.

watched this travel and discovery show where the host (who ness and i agreed was good looking) visited highly traditional way at the barbers with the massive gleaming intimidating blade (called a cut-throat) deftly scraping back the ooooodles of thick luxurious shaving cream applied with badger-hair shaving brush (i'm getting my brother that for his dreaded birthday when he would have to shave. I staunchly refuse to let him have ANY facial hair whatsoever, it's repulsive!)

the barber's blade for everyday grooming is impractical (but should be used for special occasions) so the more classic old-school way is with shaving cream that you lather up yourself and apply with a shaving brush

I'm lazy to continue, gonna finish up my warm warm minestrone brrrrrrr!

baby it's cold outside..
14:09

too hilariously scathing a fashion commentary not to put down:
it's about bai ling

Cheaper Bai the Dozen: Bai Ling is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a craptacular enigma. A few burning questions we want answered: Why is she famous? Who keeps inviting her to red-carpet events? And how does she manage to find outfit after odious outfit? Is there a "Tarts R Us" store only she knows about? The sometime actress and full-time flashbulb addict modeled oodles of tacky togs at Cannes (surprisingly, she had an actual reason to be there -- she appears in "Southland Tales"), which made choosing her most hideous get-up akin to picking which Baldwin brother -- Alec, Stephen or Daniel -- would be the most fun to date. On the left, the coif-challenged Bai has us feeling blue with a ruffled, Garanimals-sized miniskirt, which she unwisely pairs with a matching halter, sandals and earrings for a turquoise atrocity of epic proportions. On the right, she shows that even the little black dress is beyond her grasp, as she covers up her lace Sin City-style disgrace with an aggressively beastly boa made from the hides of two of our favorite Muppets (rest in peace, Beaker and Fozzie).
18:08

got this off a fabulous msn website. when i have the time i'll go and find the properfer reference to this article don't want to be caught plagarising or whatever rubbish.
ugh universities can really be a pain when it comes to crediting the author of whatever.

found it to be a very enlightening piece. hope you'll enjoy acutally learn from it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Proper shaving has become a lost art. Shaving is one of those glorious male traditions that used to be passed down from father to son, but somewhere along the line, when shaving became more about cheap, disposable razors than a nice, precision-made metal tool in your hand, it became a brainless routine to rush through in the morning without even thinking about it.
A dull disposable razor dragged across a layer of foam or gel on your cheeks is a step backward from the past, not an improvement.

Q: What is “wetshaving” and how is it different from the way most men – and women – shave today?
A: Wetshaving is just what the term implies – keeping your face (or for women, their legs) wet with plenty of hot water before, and during, the entire shave. In fact, you should always shave after a hot shower, not before (if you need to shave without taking a shower, washing your face with hot water for a few minutes will suffice). With a layer of hot water between your skin and the lather, the blade skims the surface instead of dragging on it, which is the main cause of irritation, redness, and “shave bumps”.
Wetshaving gives you more effective shaves and better looking skin. The hot water opens the pores of your skin and relaxes your facial muscles, and it softens your whiskers for more effective cutting. Believe it or not, but your whiskers are tougher than the edge of a razor blade, and shaving “dry”, or mostly dry as with the vast majority of shaving creams, foams, and gels on the market, means you’re literally tugging on each and every hair on your face instead of neatly slicing it at the skin’s surface and moving on without irritating your skin. The key to proper wetshaving is keeping your face as wet as possible at all times during the shave. Even if you keep your current tools and routine, you’ll marvel at how much closer and more comfortable shaving can be when you keep your face hydrated at all times with lots of hot (not scalding) water.
Q: What are the basic tools you need for wetshaving?
A: The perfect shave has three ingredients: a good razor, a good brush, and glycerin-based shaving cream. But the biggest difference between wetshaving and the way most guys shave today is the use of a shaving brush. A good badger-hair shaving brush is the single most important ingredient in getting the perfect shave -- if you change no part of your shaving routine except to add a good shaving brush to the mix, you’ll be astounded at how much better and more enjoyable your shaves become.
Take it from a guy who used to use his fingers to smear cheap shaving gel on his face that smelled just like his deodorant – using a fine badger hair brush to brush high-end English shaving cream that smells like fresh-cut violets onto your face and neck isn’t just about treating yourself nicely after years of the ol’ slice’n’dice. It’s also the best possible way to prepare your skin and whiskers for the closest, most comfortable shave.
A shaving brush isn’t just a paint brush for your face. A good brush – and the best brushes are made of badger hair and start at $25 – absorbs hot water and then, after you dip the tip of the brush into your tub (yes, not a can, but a tub – I’ll explain later) the brush releases and mixes the hot water with the shaving cream as you skim the brush back and forth across your face and neck in and up-down motion. The combination of hot water mixing with the cream and getting beaten by the brush all over your face delivers a thicker, richer, more emollient lather that’s impossible to get with your fingers alone. A shaving brush also gently exfoliates, or removes the dead skin, from your face before shaving, which gets rid of anything coming between the blade and your whiskers. Finally, the up-down brushing lifts your whiskers and suspends them standing upright in the thick lather, which exposes the maximum whisker length to your blade as it skims along your face.
Genuine badger hair shaving brushes come in all sizes and hair types, costing anywhere from $25 for a basic pure-grade badger model to $550 for a monster-sized, high-end English hand-made job containing only the hair from the badger’s neck, which is said by some (though not by me) to be the finest and most rarefied expression of water-holding bristle known to man or badger.
The next tool you need for wetshaving is a razor. And by razor, I mean whatever high-quality, NON-DISPOSABLE razor you feel most comfortable with. I know, I know, disposables are cool because that’s what they hand out in jail, but they’re extremely hard on your skin because the quality of the blades isn’t as good as a cartridge razor, or better yet, the kind of razor that serious wetshavers use: the classic double-edge safety razor!
A DE razor is the kind that takes a single, disposable razor blade, and it’s the same type of razor that your father, your grandfather, Cary Grant, Lee Marvin, JFK, and John Wayne used, and in the opinion of many shave-o-philes, the classic DE wipes the floor with any modern razor. I entirely concur – ever since I switched to using a DE razor, instead of a multi-blade cartridge razor, I get much closer and more comfortable shaves, my face doesn’t burn at all anymore, and all the red irritation on my neck I thought was there for good went away completely.

new safety razors are available that bring back the spirit of the classic Gillette adjustable DE razors, which many shaving connoisseurs consider the finest double-edge razor ever made.
Once you’ve got a shaving brush, a razor, and some quality shaving cream, you’ll need a sink full of hot (not scalding) water. After you emerge from a nice, hot shower, fill the sink with hot water and let your shaving brush soak in the water as it fills the sink. Splash some more hot water on your face to keep it maximally wet. The key to wetshaving is keeping your face as hydrated with hot water at all times as possible.
Remove your brush from the water, hold it upside down until water stops pouring out of it, and then you’re ready to apply the cream. If you’ve got a tub of shaving cream, swirl the wet tips of your brush around in a circular motion on the surface of the cream until you get a small amount of visible white lather. You don’t need a lot of cream, but you you don’t want too little either. After your first few shaves, you’ll begin to get a feel for how much is just right.
Now you want to paint your face up and down, up and down all over the areas of your face and neck you’ll be shaving. Keep at it for a minute or so until you’ve got a thick, opaque layer of rich lather covering the shaving area. Then set your brush handle-down on the counter and pick up your razor.
You want to shave downward on your face and neck, WITH the direction your whiskers grow. At least for the first pass, a North-to-South stroke will get rid of most of your stubble without irritating your skin. If you want a closer shave, wet your face again, lather up again, and shave very lightly upward, against the grain, in a South-to-North direction. Most men’s skin is too sensitive to stand up to an against-the-grain shave without redness, razor burn, and even ingrown hairs, but if you can deal with it, go gently.
Once you’re done shaving, rinse your face with cold water to close the pores, thoroughly rinse your shaving brush of lather and shake it dry, and store it in your medicine cabinet on it’s handle, not lying down. This will let the bristles air-dry without damaging them, so your brush will last 20 years or more.
Pat, not rub, your face dry with a clean towel, and finish up with a good non-alcohol-based after-shave or moisturizer – I use and recommend Trumper’s “skin food”, but any good moisturizer will be better than that stinging alcohol-based stuff that we’ve all suffered with.
CAUTION: if you’ve been shaving with a disposable razor or one of the modern multi-blade cartridge systems like the Mach3, be aware that switching to a single-blade DE will require that you un-learn all the bad habits that modern razors are designed to let sleepy, lazy guys get away with. Mainly, that means slower, more careful strokes, and guiding the razor’s head over your skin WITHOUT PRESSING DOWN.
Let me say that again. WITHOUT PRESSING DOWN. AT ALL.
It’s really not a big deal – men were shaving this way for hundreds of years before plastic disposables and 2/3/4/?-blade razors were invented. Once you slow down and stop pressing the blade against your face so hard, you’ll find that not only do you get a closer, smoother shave, but all of that burning sensation and red marks all over your neck will start to go away immediately, and then disappear for good. Paradoxically, using a lighter touch doesn’t work nearly as well with modern multi-blade razors because they were designed to allow for the typical knucklehead who thinks the harder he rakes the razor across his cheeks the closer his shave will be. But with a DE, a lighter touch actually does result in a closer shave, and a much more comfortable and skin-friendly shave besides.
If you end up with a few nicks your first few shaves with a DE, don’t worry, it happens to all of us. It’s your face’s way of telling you to stop being a knucklehead. After a few shaves, you’ll figure it all out, and then you’ll wonder why you haven’t been shaving like this your whole life. This is one of those guy grooming secrets that separate the men from the boys.
Does the whole idea of using an old-school safety razor give you pause? Don’t worry – if you want to stick with your Mach3 or other cartridge razor, that’s okay. Just adding a shaving brush and quality cream to the mix will still give you a better shave, even if you use the same razor you were using before. But if you shave with disposables, you really should ditch them and at least start using a catridge razor. They’re not that much more expensive per shave, and they’re much better for your face.
A high-quality, glycerin-based shaving cream is the final ingredient in the perfect shave. If your shaving cream/gel comes in a can and costs less than a coffee at Starbucks, prepare to be astonished at what old-school European shaving cream lathers, shaves, and above all, smells like. Yes, I said smells like! If you’ve never lathered up in the morning with a fine English shaving cream that smells like fresh-cut violets, limes, or lavender, then you are truly missing out on one the great manly pleasures of all time.
The Europeans have been making this stuff for centuries, and they really do make the best shaving creams on the planet. At around $20 for a tub and $12 for a travel tube, they’re more expensive than the foams and gels at the drugstore, but since a little goes a long way when lathered with a shaving brush, these high-end creams last for many months of daily shaving.
I use and highly recommend Geo F. Trumper’s and Taylor of Old Bond Street’s shaving creams in both tubs for the bathroom and small tubes for travel. My personal favorites are Trumper’s violet and Taylor’s avocado, as well as their excellent lavender – these shaving creams will spoil you for anything else, and when lathered onto your face with hot water and a badger shaving brush, deliver the best skin protection and the finest shaves you’ve ever experienced. And the scents of these top-shelf creams will make you actually look forward to shaving, probably for the first time in your life.
I also use and recommend two inexpensive European creams which are also very popular with serious wetshavers. Portugal’s Musgo Real costs $8 a tube and has lanolin for an extremely moisturizing and comfortable shave. My favorite inexpensive shaving cream, though, is the legendary eucalytpus shaving cream from Italy called Proraso. This $7 wonder comes in a large, bright green toothpaste tube, and has been the best-selling shaving product in Italy since the 1940’s. Despite its budget price, Proraso actually shaves on a par with the fancy English creams, and it has the added benefit of eucalyptus oil, which gives your face an incredible cooling effect when you splash with cold water at the end of the shave. Like the Trumper and Taylor shaving creams, you can buy Proraso online, but if you have a local Italian deli or market, check there first, as many of them carry Proraso for their longtime customers. It doesn’t smell quite as intoxicating as Trumper’s violet, but it’s an outstanding shaving cream at an unbeatable price.
15:50

for the gentlemen:

http://www.classicshaving.com/Home.html
14:59

me being me i like being classical and old school - people are convinced that me with my ideals that are too 'old-fashioned' to have been born in this era, i would really like to think that i belong in the time of romantic crooners like sinatra, dean martin and al martino with the guys in suits or at least with suspenders (braces) very 1950-1960s up to when the era got all dodgy with americanisation of the laidback european way of life.

ahh amore! art history!

my old school tastes and preferences even extend to soap bar soaps to be specific rather than liquid ones. somehow using bar soap is more of a sentimental very traditional classic, almost reminesent of the era so long ago, with it's simply ways. ahhh..
reminds me of the great baths in ancient rome where people used to smother their bodies with olive oil then scrape it off with a small sickle like blade. that was their 'soap', i tried that once when i was really young around 10 and it wasn't a pretty picture (or pratical to begin with) having to scrub off all the oil i smeared on my legs.
wasn't in rome so don't quite know why i was doing what romans did.

anyway i like soaps that are made from pure vegetable (eg coconut, palm, olive) and/or fruit oils topped off with shea butter, beeswax, cocoa butter. mmmm almond oil..
was gonna mention lanolin but philly told me that lanolin is those grotty glunky grey parts from the sheep under its fleece, most of which are around the underarm areas.
ewwww. and i've been using lanolin for so long thinking it was a milk derivative.

those soaps are less processed than standard commercial soap you get off the supermarket shelves since more of the base oils which have all the healing properties are available for moisturing skin. the by prodcut of soap making glycerine is fabulous at attracting mositure to your skin helping to retain it's natural mositure. then those huge coporations skim off the natural glycerine from soaps esp liquid ones and sell them seperately at much higher prices. and they usually use cheap latering chemical substitutes in soap which just dry out your skin, making your dry skin situation worse than it was before.

those nice happy 'natural' 'handmade' 'small scale production' soaps don't contain all those nasty chemicals, detergents or petroleum bits that dry out and lead to long term deterioation of your skin. tralalala.
since natural soaps are made with vegetable oils or milk products, they softening and cleanse your skin instead of clogging the pores.
seriously your skin is the largest organ of your body and quite literally the first thing that people see, so i tend to pay insane attention and care to my skin.
soap is a small everyday luxury that really helps to end a hectic day.
i like to unwind like that before snuggling in my wonderous sheets.

haha sheets are also another luxry for me but i'll leave that to another entry.

ciao!
20:14

if others had to sum you up in one word, which word would it be?

there are words i won't mind (and hope) others think of me as..
altruristic
compassionate
passionate
talented
brilliant
intellectual
lovely..

and other more positive ones, though i know there are some who think there are other words that would be more appropriate for me such as
devious
scheming
cunning

but those complementary (wishful) adjectives aside i think one word could pretty much sum my philosophy and principles as..

OLD-SCHOOL

reason why i'm pretty much old school
1. i'm a bar soap person.
don't like those liquid ones, they're made by huge multinational corporation - doesn't give you the intimate feel when you're lathering up of special bar soaps. usually bar soaps are one of my little necessary indulgences. liquid soaps are just off the supermarket shelf, they lack the little personlised 'history' of boutique bar soaps.

2. grew up to sinatra, dean martin, al martino, romantic crooners

3. don't like all the rubbish techo/new wave/trance/poseur emo music of today

4. believe that guys who own pre-tied button/clip on bow ties should be shot

5. believe that you should never give it all on the first date

6. believe that guys who ask you out should foot the bill

7. guys are true gentlemen (VERY IMPORTANT) when they excuse themselves to the mens and pay the bill instead of doing it in front of you or at the table

8. leave a tip if the service was excellent

9. never fight with your dining companion over who gets to pay the bill. if you asked her out and had a final say in the place, you get to pay. however if she asked you out then she pays.

10. should always buy her a small present on the first proper date, doesn't have to be lavish. just something thoughtful, standard presents are acceptable such as flowers. kudos to you select the flowers on their hidden meanings. eg roses - seduction. daises - optimism and friendship.

11. for proper dates. a move that would get you right to the top of her list is instead of buying normal standrad presents as mentioned in point 10, buy her a corsage.

12. if the guy is astute enough, he should notice when his date is wearing a skirt. so when they are entering a cab, he should NEVER let her slide in, it is very unladylike. instead he should let her enter first. close the door then get in through the other door.

13. men should have pocket squares.

14. and black shoes, proper ones.

15. mark of a true gentleman is that he carries a clean handkerchief all the time.

16. always wears socks with his shoes.

17. owns at least a sports jacket or a casual blazer or dinner jacket (not necessary if he's below 21)

18. never talks about money in front of you

19. or drop names

20. he should ALWAYS escort her home.

21. have respect for the females around him.

22. believes that it is always better to be overdressed than overdressed.

23. must always offer his coat when the temperature drops.

24. believe that one must always have wardrobe staples such as simple yet chic dress that's not too revealing.
01:21

aww you look so pretty, no NO! i mean beauuuuutiful
like an angel.
if angles wore dresses..

-a drunk amy dynan to me
13:22

noel gallagher on nicole appleton giving birth:


09:09

i'm extremely prissy right now.
damn the inefficient billing system of the uni!

a month ago they sent me 4 letters telling them that i apparently owe them $51, and if i don't pay up blah blah blah, the whole list..

swear they're like loan sharks but not in the funny under one roof way:

OWE MAAAAH-NEEEE!! DON"T PAAAAY UUUUP!!
OWE MAAAAH-NEEEE!! DON"T PAAAAY UP! PAI SEI! PAI SEI AAAAAAAHHHH!

then today i got a freaking letter from the international office saying that i OVERPAID THEM!! by... $53!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
driving me up the wall and back down then right back up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so the bank fees for processing the payment to begin with was $3.50 so the bank fees i had to pay was MORE than the difference!

ARGH! BLOODY FREAKING HELL!
14:07

strange.. i don't feel any different. oh well

First

birthbay greeting - goes to poops! happix birthbay!
phone call - ed ed who owns a dumb dodo doggy in a diaper!
thing eaten - bacon at 4 in the morning.. mmmMMmMmMm bacon!
music heard - need you ask? obviously patrizio!
brekkie - 3 slices of cinnamon raisin honey bread.
coolest thing about today - heard loud continuous blaring of horns, which were louder than the accordion oh gosh i just realised haha i'm listening to luna mezz'o mare which is uhhh translated as moon over the sea? it's a traditional Sicilian wedding song boisterous cheerful joyous one where everyone of all ages take the floor for several lines and dance with the newlyweds. after watching the godfather i really wanted to have the same for my own wedding, *rolls eyes* but i can't have luna mezz'o mare at my wedding unless i marry an italian.
DAMN!
oh well ok back to the point, the source of all the honking (i thought there was a massive traffic commotion, or unusually unnecessary display of road rage, then tried racking my brains for what public holiday they could possibly be honking in commeration, haha does wonderous me being born 19 years ago count? no? thought so. :/ )
was cause there's a wedding at john's!
my room faces john's oval and the driveway leading to the college, could see yards and yards of white chiffon, crepe, ribbons that made a frothy concotion of wedding decoration. the streaming ribbons were whipping crazily on every possible nook and cranny where you could stick decorations on the cars, the cars remind me of hmmm paremecium. (hey! that was the first thing that popped in my mind, too much bio! ARGH!!)

deep down i somehow feel a strange bond to the happy couple, but that's just me. can't help but enjoy the warm feeling in me.

but wow my first birthday overseas where i'm not spending it isolated from everyone else.
last year i spent most of it tucked snugly under my sheets, with a single lamp on casting a warm soft glow on my room while i listened to my all time fave classic 'romantic' songs (i can truly say they're romantic since they're from that era and genre, songs that MAY BE soppy, slow and sad doesn't necessarily count as 'romantic')

just enjoying the melodious strains and really appreciating bits of songs you usually gleam over when you're not really really listening and appreciating the craftsmanship of the song.

then the other half of that day i was soaking in the tub enjoying the tranquility of a near empty college, the stark whiteness of all the gleaming marble in the bathrooms, and a good book, should have lit several candles to really enhance the mood of it all, maybe a nice glass of wine or some indulgent calming drink to sip at. i'll do it next mid semester break i get when the college is vacant.

this morning at breakfast, Alexandra got on one knee and started seranading me with happy birthday, with the whole dining hall chipping in.
i was so embarrassed but secretly thrilled at being the centre of attention!
and you said i wasn't an attention whore!
but come on admit it, it's the same for everyone when people start singing happy birthday!

what was my point of this entry? i really don't have one.

the birthday girl doesn't need one.
10:05

recalled the E is for the Easiest person to talk to' from my previous post earlier tonight and i realised that giving edgar the honour of that title is absolutely justified.
he came back from the jungle navigation thingy course they had today without the assistance of instructors and as fate would have it the people in his group lost some equipment and the whole team got punished lalalalalala. you know how brutal NS is.
so anyway he only got back to camp at 115 and had to wake up at 6, which leaves him with barely 4 hours of sleep, the touching thing was that he called me after i sent him smses today venting my frustration and uncertainty about the patrizio tickets and spent that time talking some sense into me.
as you know trying to talk some sense into a densely senseless girl such as myself is an uphill battle, but he being such a sweetheart preservered and actually gently convinced me that it would not be in my best interest to buy more tickets than i need.
all this took slightly more than 45 mins to drill it into me head.
so now the poor boy has barely 3 hours of sleep all cause of my stupid indecisions.
that's not even the best bit as to why i adore him, he so kindly offered to purchase the 120 ticket off me so i could could get the 7th row concert opera house concert tickets. i was so touched by that selfless offer. that action was only amplified by the fact that the money that he has been saving up over the years was to go into his college fund and he offered a sizeable portion so i could be frivolous and get a good view of patrizio's eyes.
i feel ashamed of how superficial i was at that point (in fact i still am), stark contrast to his character. i was worrying myself silly thinking 'oh but my concert performance mentality was i either get really good seats or don't bother at all' since i've always had excellent seats. eg. i had front row 2 seats from dead centre for the a1 concert.

he was willing to set his higher education goals and aspirations back steps, just for my selfish gratification.
such wonderful people like him are truly godsend - to keep you grounded and give you perspective and insight into your own actions that you would otherwise have not achieved on your own. i should know this given my psychology back ground, but all the more i appreciate people like ed.

thanks for being such a sweetie.
01:59

i'm getting very frustrated with the patrizio ticket issue so this is a feeble attempt to destress or at least take my mind off it for a while.

got this from some email that people send around, i really hate those things.
so why is me putting this on my blog any different from those who send you such emails?
mine's on my blog, so you don't have to read it you can just skip this whole entry.

saving you time and considerable hassle from having to delete this should this have been an email i sent to you (me sending emails, or rather spammy sorts, would never happen so rest assured you shall not be getting junk mail/deleted mail folder fodder.)

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ...

Now you know my ABC's, now won't you fill them out about you for me?

A - Age: 19 in 3 days tiiiiiime! *hint*

B - Band listening to right now:
does the symphony orchestra playing for patrizio buanne count? otherwise i'll have to be honest and say.. a1! ah sigh somethings never change.

C - Career in future:
Mahjong playing rich socialitie wife who does charity works on the side

D- Dad's name:
Dato Dr. Alexander Ho Vui Hen and i'm in your computer!

E - Easiest person to talk to:
Ed! hahaha how fitting is that! both start with E!

F - Favourite song at the moment:
Anthony Callea's Hurts so bad, also bocelli AND patrizio.

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms:
Bears! i always bite their feet/legs off so they can't run away from their impending doooOOoOOom doom doom doom doom! now go away!

H - Home:
what sort of question is this??!??

I - Instruments you want to play:
hmmm violin, piano, cello, guitar!

J - Job:
OMG the best boss you could possibly have is JEN! I LOVE WORKING! FOR HER! YAY JEN! my first honest job!

K - Kids:
3 or 4! when my kids are older probably when they're off to college i'll adopt. personally i think that that it's always better to have your biological children then adopt when they're older and more understanding. all to avoid the whole 'you're not their REAL child' contempt issue or rivalry or insecurity problems.

L - Loved ones: that's a no brainer. the list is long so bear with me
mom and dad
ness and derek
grandparents with my grandma being the grandparent i'm the closest with along with ah gong
my relatives esp the leahlaws AAKY!
the friends i hold so dear to my heart:
pretty denisey, ed, gracie, jen, jojo, pippypa etc..
disclaimer: this list it not in any specific order but obviously family comes first for me!

M - Mom's name:
Lily but she goes by Ik Hwa

N - Names of future kids:
i really like this question-

Girls:
Livy Alexis (after my parents! lily and alex),
Jacqueline
Jaymes
Zara
Katherine (Kate)
Josephine

Boys:
Lawrence so i can shorten it to Laurie, (fortunately after having threats of being severed from the above list of loved ones for wanting the names germanicus, natheniel these names have since been removed from the running of being my future children's names)
Langdon
Harrison
Jake-Tyler

O - Oldest guy you've gone out with:
uhhh does Ed count? he's the same age, so that'll be 19!

P - Pet hates:
cockroaches! i HATE THEM WITH A PASSION!
evil useless inefficient faculties
annoying cheeenabiang people for being so presumptions
spiteful people who go out of their way to hurt people
human/animal abusers
wretched abusive mean horrid parents (i agree with my dad a dead father is better than a bad one)
evil international office staff
mean spiteful petty disagreeable British Airways counterstaff
those that force their opinions upon you
most politicians esp those who are involved with starting wars, frivolous government spending instead of improving the country's welfare and social support systems, and unreasonable IR policies you know who you are!
highly discriminatory/racist people
the chee ko peks at establishment that tried to sexually take advantage of me
rich people who splurge obscence amounts of money on even more obscence things instead of helping the less fortunate
rapists!
muderers, sex offenders, those who's actions hurt and affect people
you can tell i'm an angry person

Q - Quote of the year:
i wanna pick up Italian so i can pick up Italians!

R - Reason to smile:
LOADS of things! i'm contented with the small simple things in life. it's the people that make the difference not the material things

S - Song you sang last:
il mondo/come prima medley in Italian which wasn't very successful

T -Time You Wake Up:
when the sun sets

U - Unknown fact about me:
i'm a closet nerd!

V - Vegetable you hate:
would be shorter list to have veggies i DON"T HATE TILL KINGDOM COME.
spinach! i love spinach!!!
aubergine and zucchini and artichoke hearts when done right
spinach! have i professed my love for spinach?
bok choy, rocket.
any veggies that taste more like meat than veggies

W - Worst body feature:
besides the fact that i'm fat? hmm I"M FAT! my tummy's got more rolls than a bakery! my upper thighs are huge. the yellow undertone in my skin is ghastly. my skin breaks out when i'm stressed or hormonal.......
i could go on. but it'll be too long and depressing..

X - X-es:
that's a stupid thing to put here. NONE! no ex-es and i better not be getting one soon! *growling look*

Y - Yummy food:
too long a list. basically anything unhealthy for you, chances are it'll be on this list.

Z - Zodiac sign: Taurus.
19:42

am pretty much a loser.
for the most obscure reason i decided to google my name just so i can launch into another patre bashing session tmr night when i call home. and guess what I FOUND!
like oh my gosh!
my ballet teacher from primary school!
also named sandra ho! she has like the best possible name!

somehow i feel like i've let her down, she really thought that i could be a really great ballerina, had perfect ballet stance, seemed to have long 'chopstick' legs since i was stick thin and i had such tiny dainty feet which looked like it was born to be in toe slippers and also i looked oh so lovely in a tutu! hhehehe! good grief i love the sound of that. TUTU!
but as soon as i let the studio i would continue that slouchy little bouncy giat of mine which i can't seem to control.

http://www.balletho.com/events.php

wow my ballet teacher. if i did meet her today she'll be like oh gosh you've put on INSANE amount of weight you're so pudgy! won't look good in a tutu anymore! then *twack* on my head for slouching.

something to that effect.
02:21

quote of the month 'i wanna pick up italian so i can pick up italians'
02:13

was watching blackadder, ahhhhh sigh, always enjoyed the twisted narky british humour. as the opening credits of the 4th season was rolling i realised that it was hugh laurie who the guy who i thought (so many years ago) was the dashing lad with lilting accent.

funny.. just funny..
20:42

yesterday in appreciation of jen well being jen, i got her a 4 cd collection of the rat pack live recordings since she too is a connoisseur of fine music from an era so long ago. what a contrast i'm listening to a1 as i type this, ha i'm not ashamed to mention my boyband 'roots'.

then again i grew up to a whole electric variety of music but i'm still steadfast over frank Sinatra those Italian American swingish music from the 40s-60s or big band jazz, but i really appreciate classically done opera songs or those from the 'romantic era'.
that music sadly has been lost in this maddening world of fast food, icky electronic music (i blame isheeta for the demand for such rubbish) inappropriate men's footwear like sports shoes and the abomination of slippers. why can't a normal guy own a decent pair of men's leather shoes, doesn't even HAVE to BE leather, a nice pair of shoes, if he has to own 'sneakers' more casual shoes for everyday wear why can't he wear more streamlined shoes in suede instead of canvas or polyester!

argh it just irks me.

i'm too old school for my own good, what happened to those days where performers wouldn't dream of going on stage without being impeccably groomed, in a snazzy suit
oooOOoHh man i love suits, my endearing love for all things classic and old school stemmed from my unexplainable penchant for the good old days.

everytime when we are asked for suggestions for party themes, i'm the first one to be campaigning for
- 30's -50's era basically Sinatra!
- or history gone wrong. to sate my quirky warped sense of humour.

sigh i always reminisce about those days where the word TREND didn't exist, my mom gets peeved with me whenever i start lamenting about those lost days, bursting my bubble by saying since i never was in that period, i can't really say i MISS or REMINISCE or get FORLORNLY. damn her and her technicalities.
sigh i love the idea of gloves, chiffon dresses, wide brim ladies hats, hats for guys too, wingtip shoes, cologone dabs behind the ears, cleanly shaved guys done the highly traditional way at the barbers with the massive gleaming intimidating blade badger hair brush ooooodes of thick shaving cream.
really like watching those old shoes about Italian Americans or in Italian cities steeped with tradition and old way beauty.

haha mostly shows that have the Mafia! why?

SUITS! haha

and they're always at restaurants with plates full of pasta conducting 'business' and the size of the extended family is INSANE! all the loud boisterous family gatherings, and overflowing with family pride!
they really put family first and incorporate everything else to fit that.
i really like that concept esp without being all let's stone you for supposedly 'bringing dishonour upon the family' instead they avenge her modesty by going after the perpetrator of the evil misdeed!
the dad's also really fond of their daughters, protective and highly amusing. all the older males in the family just adore their nieces or the like.

sigh, i am definately born in the wrong era.
14:48

right now i'm in jen's room, haha she's trounching around in her japanese school girl uniform in anticipation of tmr night's paul's school boys/ school girls night. her uniform is THOUSAND FREAKING AUSSIE DOLLARS. just one set! i'm like thinking WTF WTF WTF! she bought 2 sets, with her japanese host family saying she was a snob by buying 2 sets in a supposed attempt to upstage them. whatever. japanese people are so weird.

good lord, THOUSAND bucks!

did you know there is 6 diff words for the male anatomy depending on size? the smallest is chin-chin in jap, well now you know!

soph soiree theme for this year is uhhh masquerade, thinking of helping out so i'll be more active but it would be so weird i help with organisation and decoration but don't go cause tickets are 50 and you have to bring a partner.
50 would 2/3 of my apple converse shoes so i'll reconsider.

can't stand you know who she's effing pissing me off! i'm gonna go homicidal on her one day soon. she's wearing out my legendary patience and tolerance.

i'm sleeeeeeepy. oh very pleased for myself for actually studying for my bio test! finally got something better than a misearble bordering line pass.

from now on i shall studying, each test is 3% of my grade. 3% could determine a credit from a pass, and a distinction from a credit!

MUST STUDY SAN!

at least now i don't have a com so i'm not distracted by the internet cause i'll be logging on to patrizio's page. iive been motivated to learn italian.

did i mention that 2 days ago i woke up with all my thoughts in italian and latin. it's so weird. i don't really know italian! must be cause i fell asleep to the wondorously baritone timbre of swoooooon AFTER reading suetonius the twelve ceasar's with the original latin.
17:49

PATRIZIO BUANNE!
YAY!
CONCERT!
HECK FORMAL DINNER!
17:52

you know what, guys with not much hair can be rather hot too.
my IR tutor, looked better when his hair was somewhat slightly longer but still good looking in the matthew FOXY way hahaha.
la was reading my blog, ed too.
hmmm who else, oh oh! dean from supernatural tho it won't look good THAT short.
ahhhh the n***** pauline at the sals, a fine specimen if i do say so myself.
jen's goal for this year is to sleep with him.
man she's so gonna snag herself a hottie at the sal's school girls and school boys night.
pity i don't have any normal clothes that can double up as school girl stuff, jen recommends i do a ala britney hit me baby one more time.

hmmm wonder how i'll look in SA uniform.
18:53

haven't updated my blog in ages, mostly cause the house com's internet explorer formatting makes it somewhat more streneous on the eyes. not like anyone reads it anyway.
but still shall continue to take advantage of free therapy.

the most shocking thing that happened to me on the measly remainder of my summer holidays are as follows


1. nise getting a whole string of As for her.. As. on hindsight it's expected cause she's really brilliant, studious and hardworking but after hearing rather dismal marks from others whom i've always thought to be smart got mostly Cs and Ds, so my standard for the whole country dropped. with me readjusting nise's score to perhaps a ABB. well this time i really don't mind being wrong.

2. mugger bringing us to imperial treasure at paragon.

3. the fact mugger is from CHINA! good grief i still can't get over that. it's a major shocker alright.

4. but most of all.......... ed's hair (or lackthereof)

i was surprised at my reaction to his hair, actually i'm more surprised at my lack of violent reaction. from sec 4 i kept going on and on on how upsetting it would be when NS takes all his hair. granted it's not like insanely model luxuiours to begin with, hell he doesn't even grow it out. for as long as i've known him for his hair has always been about 1.5 inches spiked.
standard safe but somewhat boring hairstyle.
ok back to how i reacted. when he came over to watch his stupid man utd match, he was standing at the door hovering over little me. a quiksilver cap sheilding my eyes from the monstrosity that used to be his hair.
my back was facing him as i was taking off my slippers whilst he was quietly removing his cap and suddenly spun me around. but...

HA! i was too quick for him. my hands were covering my eyes.
too fast for ya aren't i! thought he could ambush me but HA!

so spent the next 10 mins walking around my house with my eyes firmly shut.

realising that i was being plain ridiculous for refusing to see him without his hair, i just whippped off his cap.

lo and behold.
it wasn't THAT bad.

come to think without his crowning glory he bore an amazing resemblence to matthew fox from lost. even derek agrees with me.
hmmm got to admit he looks quite hot like that, not one of the best of hair cuts neither is it the worst. makes him look more grown up tho.

god what i wouldn't give for a guy with dr mcdreamy hair combined with the looks and charms of brosnan. swoon. hot hot hot!
14:42

Overview of my measly remainder of my summer

16, thursday

psych exam.. questions were damn bloody f***ed up
there goes any hope of a credit, much less a distinction.
god given right, yeah right.

17, fri

have to start packing and cleaning up mark's place.
spent last night being paranoid that something really horrendous would happen to me at the SUV Laundromat since the streets were deathly quiet at 1145pm, not a single soul in sight and me alone in the Laundromat where ANYONE could just walk in and aduct me.
couldn't decide what to wear to the airport
finally settled on the black tube top with embroidered flower trimmings with jeans.
bought mom her mint aero chocolate, which was daylight robbery, figures it WAS the airport.

fri/sat
arrived home. parents out for the entire weekend with mom's organised silent retreat.
bet she's bursting to talk, correction, nag at people.
hung out with ness and derek, showing the 18 tees i bought from jayjays on thurs.
watched loads of tv with my bro, chasing derek round the house for kisses. no avail.
all 3 of us went psychotic.
listened to ed go on and on factoring the man utd vs. liverpool into our plans. dinner arrangements still a blank, but from 8 till early 10 plus, he wants to head to the red bar *blaaagh* (it's the sg man utd HQ) then after get drinks at harry's since i've been bugging him for a million years.
went to bed early which ness and derek could not stop laughing about. hello! jet lag!

18, sat
woke up at 7.
jumped on derek's bed for a change. got shoved into the space between the wall and his bed. stuck there for a couple of mins. derek placed animals all over me and kept prodding his poor sister.
walked around the house lamenting about kokokrunch. ness most likely planning attempt on my life for that.
played the piano for about an hour, practised fur elise, then ness HAD to come show off she could play it better than me.
spent the afternoon whining to ed trying to manipulate him to NOT watch the man utd match. result: wasted 2 hours. all isn't lost - managed to convince him to watch the match at my house instead. note. i DON"T HAVE the sports channels. so spent another half an hour trying to settle with the starhub cable people. got all info needed.
tidied up room in preparation of ed coming over. anticipating a heart attack over him being 'botak'.
ness terrorised ed before leaving for her party. she could NOT stop screaming at ed's hair.
derek came into the room upon seeing ed's hair he stumbled and fell against the cupboard.
and me?
i had NO reaction! instead thought he looked kinda hot in a warped way. somewhat more 'manly' hmmm. right.
derek and ed watched tv then dragged ed to play worms with him. stupid game lasted for almost half an hour. so had to sit at the side then simultaneously feed the two boys pizza.
pleaded and begged for me to get channel 24 to watch 'the game of the year'.
ed still in awe that the pizza was homemade.
in between mouthfuls, he heaped tons of praises on analyn.
said he now had incentive to marry me cause of my maid's cooking, and the fact that he and derek get on splendidly.
popping kokokrunch that ed got for me.
805 still on hold with the cable company, ed continuously lamented that being put on hold for 2 mins meant we wouldn't get the channel, started catastrophising that he would miss the match, bodering on hysteria that it was too late to get to the red bar since it would be packed.
as promised by starhub cable, got the channel at 820.
heart was broken when discovered that derek's A MAN UTD FAN.
woe is me.
first 20 mins: boring as hell. predict that match would be 2-1 in liverpool's favour. exiled from the room by the boys for saying that.
they relented when i brought in ice cream with bags of marshmallows, banananut crunch, chocolate chips, whole ice cream cones and crushed toasted ice cream cones.
fell asleep on the floor cause derek won't let me sleep on the bed. cause i would be taking up weewee's place.
sharp hipbones made it impossible to sleep properly on the floor. went to sleep on ness bed.
ed came into her room after the match ended. his expression told me that my prediction was partially right. tried comforting him didn't work since i couldn't stop laughing.
talked for bout an hour.
then he went home.
ness came back, complained that i warmed up her side of the bed.

19 sun
overslept for church.
when the alarm rang i asked ness if we were to wake up, she mumbled death threats at me then went back to sleep. snooze button later alarm rang again, ness told me to off it. 10 mins later she bolted up realising that we all were going to be late.
rushed to 815, made it in time for sermon.
met denise and val, then bounced for mins on end, think we gave brandon a headache watching us continuously slapping each others hands
offered val assistance for her fashion design project, planning on lending her my vogue magazines
nise, ness and i headed to farrer and had tao hui, toa payoh's one is HEAPS better
all 3 of us reached my place, since analyn already cooked lunch decided to eat at home instead.
talked and gossiped then had lunch in front of the tv, there was some really messed up version of wizard of oz featuring the muppets which was the most disturbing thing i've ever watched.
denise walked in whilst i was checking out my eyebrows then got to the whole hair removal part of the afternoon.
tried introducing her to warm waxing strips to which she refused citing the excuse of low pain threshold, then revelaed one of the greatest breakthrough of hair removal.

EPILATOR!
so spent a while being a philips beautycare spokesperson.
coverted her into a well.... convert.
tried persuading her to epilate more of her leg hair but she replied that her mom being a staunch advocate of getting such things done professionally in the salon, would really notice her sudden smooth hairfree legs and basically not be pleased.
dad left for KL around 4, he would have terrorised poor nise to death if i hadn't intervene.
after more fiddling around and girly catching up, her mom picked her up to send nise to some rj choir thing at 5.
mom returned from her retreat absolutely knackered, then analyn and i spent the next hour or so cleaning, organising and packing all of the foodstuff mom had brought back from the retreat. ness was rummaging through the fridges looking for leftovers to heat up for our dinner.

weekend 1 over!!

11:34

as part of my new exam ritual over the past 3, 4 days

• i've been chugging down what seems to be my 38th cup of green tea, for the antioxidant powers
  
• knocking back my 5th brand's chicken essence (very common singaporean thing for parents to make their kids take during the exam period, helps their noggin' i say!) mark's mom is a psycho advocate of it makes him bring them up by the boxload (the word looks wrong but somehow boxful doesn't really convey the amount, and i can't use truckload since there's no trucks involved, so i'm using box since the bottles come in a box and load simply cause i want to)
  
• 8 evening primrose oil capsules since it supposedly assists in the healing of the multiple scratches and bruises clumsy me has sustained and the treatment of skin inflammation, been getting lots of suspicious insect bites that always bleeds right after, dad says it's probably a minor allergic or sensitive reaction to certain insect bites.
  also helps that it's a dietary supplement for GLA and vitamin E which is an antioxidant

random experiment i did couple of weeks back, whilst i was clearing out mark's room i found various tablets on the carpet, in the nook and crannys, all over the place! and decided to do 'what medication do ants like best?' since ants are plentiful at his place

there was
lexotan
pink panadol (coutesy of his girlfriend)
half a diazepam
evening primrose capsul (from moi)
cod liver oil supplement
2 veragel tablets
unknown large green translucent tablet

this is a NOT a true experiment or quasi experiment or correlational study, could possibly be a field study or a descriptive study.

hypothesis: sandra is mad and is really bored.

results: ants apparently like the cod liver and the unknown tablet. kinda gathered round the primrose. the rest not much activity if any at all.

so there! now you know

08:09

realised that i didn't post this on monday.

spent my break in the education buliding computer lab replying to my mom's email then researching on the functions of the basal ganglia which is co-ordinating deliberate synchronised movements. as well as shifting attention from 1 thing to another.

i've come up with a fab way of remebering it.
co-ordinated deliberate GANG (for ganglia) movements must be synchronised. then when you're beating up people you shift your attention from one victim to another!
smart huh!
don't i come up with the most colourful stories?
like caleb owens said (and i've been doing this for years, explaining my scarily amazing memory) this is the most efficient way of memorising.

random pointer to those who are studying

DON"T WRITE STUFF IN CAPITAL LETTERS, you remember WORSE compared to small caps. HA! bet you've forgotten that already! (ok maybe you didn't quite get my quirky irony)

anyway for the tut we were suppose to look and 'diagnose' cases of mental symptons from different perspectives. my group had the philip case study.
philip is stading in the middle of the busy junction directing heavy traffic in a tee shirt on a cold rainy day.
some guy from my group said ha he's schizophrenic!
to which i protested (after laughing so hard after reading philip's case) hey he could be an undercover traffic police officer, no no, most likely a traffic police on his day off and then he saw how bad the traffic situation was and quickly intervened to prevent an accident if one hasn't aleady occured, so the situation demanded that he respnd there and then!

guy: hellooooooo! he's obviously a nutjob he's IN THE RAIN IN A TEE SHIRT!

me: well it could have NOT been raining when he started directing traffic, you can't just stop directing traffic just to put on a jacket! and of all times NOT in the RAIN! see that's dedication from him! he could have frozen of fallen sick but he's putting the safety and well being of others before himself.

the guy had nothing left to say. can't blame him. i think i DID go over the top with the whole possible explaination for his actions.

samantha fearns my tutor proposed other possible alternative explainations.
he lost a bet with his mates.
he's high from smoking pot
he's on psychoactive substances.

logical but not as far fetched as mine. i quite like my explainations honestly. somehow it seems very me doesn't it?

after that went shopping at braodway, spent the WHOLE weekend obsessing about the chunky black necklace that i've suddenly hankered after and so worried that someone would buy the last 7 of them or sportsgirl would clear the whole stock!

very irrational, i'm starting to seem like those case studies of mental patients i've been studying about.
03:01

interesting facts that you learn from neuroscience

1. dolphins can sleep one hemisphere at a time! so each half of the brain takes turns to sleep!
2. giraffes only sleep 2 hours a day
3. the short form of ecstacy is E but the long form it's real name is methylenedioxymethamphetamine. what a mouthful trying to quickly get a fix from your dealer 'hey man do you have any more methylenedioxymethamphetamine?
4. alcohol is the world's oldest known drug

02:18

other facts that i picked up from watching documentaries (as usual)
octupus and lobsters have blue blood! it's cause they have hemocyanin instead of haemogloblin which we humans (mammals actually) have that carry red blood cells.
incests have clear blood! far out! (that's what the guy from the documentary said) cause there's no need to carry O2.

tralalala now you can impress people who don't know that!
01:26

ok i've come up with a brilliant plan. regarding a nose job.
see, i'll get into an accident, while in singapore and with my dad around of course. which the major damage would be my nose hopefully it'll be broken.
broken to the extent that cosmetic surgery wouldn't be too much of a stretch to ask for. this is where my dad comes in, my dad being my dad would naturally insist on getting the best (in his case means using his contacts or getting someone distantly related to us or someone that has treated family and friends before) to do the job.
then i'll say since my nose is already al BLEAH can i get a nose job, then go all dramatic on how repulsive i would look without cosmetic surgery but at this point it wouldn't really be excessive, unnecessary or shallow.

and BINGO!

new nose, hopefully one like kate beckinsale's. she's a really nice nose tho from the side it's a TAD angular than most. but still a very nice nose.
00:06

warning: this entry contains sexual references. (good grief i sound like the disclaimer and tv advisory board listing the rating before a certain show)

anyway was leafing through a bunch of old magazines when this durex booklet dropped out. huh.
no no it's not pervy or anything, it contained the results from the durex global sex survey.
after skimming through it i can really say that singaporeans are very sad in the bedroom department, mostly in frequency and creativeness. no i'm not refering to extreme sex while hanging from the ceiling suspended by a whole bunch of straps and cables (though the editor of cosmo when she visited our college told us that you actually can buy those apparatues.) but at how they approach it.
usually it's a lacklusture wham bam thankyou mam, over before it even starts.
but there's always exceptions to every rule.

remembered reading a mag where they had 'hot steamy tips from all over the world', was utterly disappointed to see the tip given by a supposed singaporean sex expert.
goes along the line of 'have sex in the bathroom (does NOT refer to the shower OR bathtub). why? cause singaporean men till their 30s live with their parents. (I"M LIKE BLOODY HELL THEY ACTUALLY ADMITTED THAT!! YOU"RE ONLY LIKE TELLING THAT TO THE REST OF THE WORLD!!) so you have sex in the bathroom cause the bedroom is too obvious (??????????????????????????) then all small little sounds would echo it's very sexy but you have to keep the noise level down otherwise YOUR PARENTS might hear (YOUR PARENTS!???!!! your parents! you freaking mention your parents AGAIN??!!!!?? are you that hard up wanting to confirm the suspicion of the rest of the world that singaporean men are losers when it comes to sex!!!)

good grief i really have no comment for you!
01:14

unfortunately was not able to sleep much less finish any dream.
the 3, 4 hours i had before waking up (in the midst of such a lovely dream) really didn't let me sleep after that so i spent another 4 and a half hours tossing and turning in bed. it's when you're lying in bed unable to sleep you get really particular about your sleeping environment.
the sheets were too scratchy, need my lovely smooth high thread count sheets (really one of my few indulgences in life, actually it's more of a must)
the frills of the quilt constantly tickling my nose causing me to sneeze so many times
pillow is too low to offer proper neck support so i fidget incessantly with it trying to make it more comfortable but that rarely happens so i generally have little choice but go through the day with sore stiff neck and shoulders.
a single teensy weensy crumb would really chaff my sensitive skin irritating the hell of out of me so i have to dust off the sheets till i'm sure it's gone for good.

when i was a little girl my dad mentioned off hand that i'm like the princess from princess in the pea.


overall it's mostly the scratchy sheets and pillow lacking better ergonomic support that really irritate me.

the room being uncomfortable stuffy lacking sufficient ventilation also major factor. being on the 2nd floor it never occurred to the designers of the building to install grills to go with the sliding doors or safety latch windows so i can't open the windows or leave the door slightly ajar since i fear so much for my life. for those who know me i sleep like the dead (incidentally we learnt about sleep patterns for neuroscience today) very few things (make that nothing) can rouse me when i'm in my deepest slumber so i rather not risk my safety.

furthermore the windows are partially shielded by trees so even when the campus security park their car and keep a lookout for would be intruders, the trees would obstruct their view of an intruder and they wouldn't be able to help me until it's too late.

i'm NOT being paranoid, i'm being cautious. a lone young girl (ok maybe not young girl but still) in deserted campus accommodation is an easy target for breaking-and-entering fiends!

losing WAY too much sleep.
09:17

had very VERY nice dream of hugh jackman, you know what i've come to the conclusion that whoever's named hugh is naturally hot.
there's hugh laurie
hugh grant (ok maybe he's not HOT but still)
and of course yours truly hugh jackman.

*rawr* now that's one helluva fine specimen, indeed god's gift to the female race.
unfortunately i didn't manage to finish my dream (DAMN IT!) cause i woke up realising that i had fallen asleep on the sofa cause i didn't want to shower so just i could sleep properly in the bed.
but MAN! it was good while it lasted.
*phew* i'm still getting my breath back hehe!

just some tidbits bout my dream cause i want to hit the sack as quickly as possible to continue the dream with god's gift to women, or mostly me.

tennis newcomer grandslam
fixing match
jet company with PEEEENK margaritas!
tennis showdown
betting stakes

so i'm really hoping that i finish up the dream or at least continue part of it.

nighty night!

and HELLOOOOOOW jackman!
01:53

was watching the ad for HOUSE! YAY HOUSE IS BAAAAAAACK!
oh i LOVE feb! all the good shows are back..
GRAY'S ANATOMY! never miss a single episode. EVER!
tralalala. SVU which is quite intersting
BOSTON LEGAL! makes me want to be a lawyer again.
new comer SUPERNATURAL!! tres good! seriously! though i get a bit freaked out whenever i go to sleep since the bed is facing a full length and the curtains are right behind the bed so there's the curtain casts this 'frame of light' and i always bolt out of bed whenever i see the light frame reflection in the mirror. not good esp for someone with such overactive imagination.

ok my point of this point was..
when i was watching the house ads about 5 days ago and
it hit me all of a sudden, both the golden globe winners for this years tv drama are hugh laurie and geena davis, and they're the littles! you know mr and mrs little from stuart little!
HA that's thier connection! so the littles are also golden globe winners. how cool is that.
ok maybe i'm the only one who noticed.
remember point out to ed when we watched stuart little 2 (yes we watched such a gay movie, i wanted to go laugh and mock movies so i picked that)
the only people in the cinema- ed, i, this mother and her young son about 7 years old.
the two of us burst out laughing at the comment about moses cause before we watched the movie i made him sing songs from the prince of egypt soundtrack since VS chior did it for their choir night. but we mostly laughed cause it was reference to that vs chior performance, and out sudden laughter (for me it was peals of giggles) scared the boy who was sitting 3 seats away from me, when we saw his reaction we laughed even harder.
bet it wasn't the most plesant movie he's had.

ahh good ole sec 4 times..

if only i could relive it over again.
and again
and again.
04:00

one of my fave commercials ever.
just click the link http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4939404667311212482&q=carlton

seriously beer companies come up with the BEST ads ever.
like the heineken one where this rather dashing looking bloke goes back in time when heineken's were first made. classic

or the jen aniston one, which was also quite amusing, but still pales in comparison

i totally adore the new zealand beer ad about it being a bloke's beer. absolutely fab! very inventive, really got to give it to 'em.

well commercials really work, was impressed infact overwhemled by the ad in a good way, i actually got a carlton at the pub which actually sucks, considering i think ALL beer suck so you can't really take my work for it.

so enjoy the carlton ad.
00:25

damn it!
freaking opera tickets are sold out 4 months in advance
it's almost as bad as the michael buble tickets that were sold out in less than an hour!
grrr! i had the perfect dress for it!
my pretty pink princess dress!
it's so pretty *Swoon* no scrape that, it's GORGEOUS!
it's HAND MADE! well the beading, scallop vintage lace trimming, and details were all hand done! so that makes it HAND MADE! one off piece! well maybe a 3 off piece, S, M, L.
of course i got the small, the medium was roomier but i felt.. pouffy in it, didn't hang well on me.
the small bustier part's pretty much suffocating but it's absolitely fablous on me!

i wanted to wear it to the opera!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
00:00

more reasons why i'm such a freak.

1. as i entered fisher library, the nice COLD draft of air conditioned air hit me, so looking around to see that no one was around or paying me any attention i just stood at the entrance right under the deliciously cold cold vents.
i just STOOD at the ENTRANCE enjoying the air con. thing is it wasn't even that hot out today, a relatively mild 29 degrees out but i missed the feeling of air con. it's different from a fan which i've been using the past month, air from a fan is rougher and it just BLOWS air at you, so it can get quite irritating after a while. i hate loose strands of my hair being whipped about my face when i'm trying to sleep. but the air con?
via air con!
it's COLD gentle air that really cools you down, makes you miss milder winter nights, the cold air just permeates your pores, you never really appreciate small things like that until you've been deprived for a long time. your longing intensifies esp when it's summer and the fan is starting to bug you.
the thing is that i like sleeping with something over me like snuggling under a soft smooth good quality blanket or quilt, really hate the feeling of sleeping without something covering me. just feel so exposed, you know.
with the air con, you can cover yourself and yet it's nice and cool but using the fan the blanket simply cuts the air off so it gets really warm stuffy and bothersome under the sheets.

ok this is me trying to best explain the difference between fan and air con.
fan just circulates air around the room, or for certain standing fans it just blows the surrounding air at you.
but the air con drops and lowers the air temperature so it's nice and cold, THEN it circulates the cold air around the room.
the fan doesn't do anything to the air temp it just ventilates and circulates the air around.

did i get that right?

ok since i'm heaping praises to the almighty air con, i shall debunk thee common misconception that the air con takes up the most energy ie uses up the most electricity and therefore electric bills are so high.

but you see, (this is from mr yap, the greatest physics teacher that sparked my interesting and unlocked my great potential for physics, got the a1 in prelims and o's thanks to him)
if you compare all appliances in your house by standard time let's say an hour.
comparatively the air con uses less electricity than anything that uses heat electricity, the most guilty of all, (one of the last things that would come to mind) and yet you people don't know.. is the
WATER HEATER!

this electricity guggling water heater uses SO MUCH MORE electricity than the wrongly accused and long-standing victimised scapegoat air con! it's cause the heat needs to heat up VERY VERY VERY VERY fast almost instaneously infact, just so you can get your hot water!
notice when showering and you turn on the hot water facet, takes very little time before hot steaming water comes out. now think exactly how hot the heating system must be for you to get such hot water in such a short time.

it's the same concept as cars going from 0-100 km/h in seconds, burns up an obscence amount of fuel but if it's maintaining a medium speed for a long period of time it actually burns considerably less. but the thing with hot water is you only get HOT, not some lukewarm temperature.

to get warm temperature so you don't scald your skin everytime you're in the shower, you ADD COLD WATER to it to reduce the water temperature.

GET IT!

the reason why you don't see massive bills from hot water usage is that you use it like only 20-30 mins the most a day? but the air con you keep it running for about 8 hours at least per day so it accumulates over a monthly period..

see the diff! now stop incriminating the poor misunderstood air con.

long live the air con!

note: a woman came up with the idea for the the air con!
all the more reason to love the female race!
09:27

hm, the double bacon perscuitto quiche i made today turned out rather well i must say. didn't burn it. it's kinda squishy tho, it's so moist it borders on 'wet'.

really irks me i can't seem to get it to the dense solid consistency that jung the quiche maker gets, wonder what his secret is.
had my reservations about the bacon bits i used. got those dodgy 'house brand' bacon, then again it was the only brand they had there in IGA. when i soaked the bacon i got this dank almost rancid unfragrant bacony smell, and the SCUM! ewww don't even get me started on it.
what my mom says it's true it's always better to buy meat in its more 'whole' forms cause with all those mince and bits, you really have no idea what random bits of STUFF they put in it. for all you know they could have added the dead dog/cat/mouse/unidentifiable 'creature thing' that died in the factory so they can rip people off.
ok we'll see if there's something wrong with the bacon tmr, man i can't believe i'm subjecting my body to be some sort of food litmus test, as if it hasn't endured plenty of crap from me.

i love you body, please don't give up on me k?
06:28

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!


aussie aussie aussie!

OEI OEI OEI!!
16:12

i'm currently in my cooking/baking/domestic phase, yes that's right, i'm turning into..
MY SISTER!
except she doesn't do the cleaning bit, that's ALL me. comes with the OCD you see.
ok what have i done in the past 1.5 weeks to elicit such a.. i'm at a loss for words really.

1. peacan and white chocolate chip cookies
   
   
2. kellogs cookies (recipie right off the side of the cereal box, it's actually really yummy for something so simple)
   
3. peach crumble (turned out pretty gorgeous, did pass the lightly golden brown mark to be hmmm slightly more than golden brown)
   
4. banana cake/bread (which potentially could have turned into a total disater, you can ask monkey about that)
   
5. minor things included bacon/perscuitto/honey baked ham omelette,
   chirzo/tomato/green olive/capsicum pasta (which is kinda cheating since it was out of a jar)
   
6. roast lamb which turned out to be more than just a dream, perfectly done with the tips almost charred but the inside so lovely you just wanted to stare at it instead of eating it. man that was the best roast i've ever done. EVER!

oh something i'm quite proud of for some unknown reason.. okay wait for it wait for it....
CHEESE PORRIDGE! ok before you start saying it's gross, have you tried it? it's seriously delicious, i stand by my choice!
added krafts single slices, parmesan, nicely done bacon which smelt heavenly, perscuitto, honey baked ham, pinch of sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste. i kid you not, it's good, stop making a face!
you can't comment on it unless you've tried it. auntie joan, from my dad's side used to make it for me whenever she visited little darling sandra, even when just entered teens sandra visited her in KL she made cheese porridge for me.

was proudly reciting the whole list to ed, he wants to try my cooking but he's too dear to me to let him be killed by consuming my cooking! eeps! wait then again he DID have my super wonderful chocolate and butterscotch cookies drowning in the most obscene amount of butter. the cookies obviously were a success, he didn't die or end up in the toilet for years (as i had feared!) the cookies DID fuse together to be this huge mass of COOKIE (too much butter i reckon) so did have to break them instead of having perfectly formed cookies. well you can't have your cookie(s) and eat them.

anyway back to my strange childhood eating habits which most people find it peculiar if not oh so wrong.
for instance:
i love boiled bananas
boiled sweet potato
boiled tapoica
brovil!
semi boiled egg with loads of soya sauce
spinach dips
TWINKLE FAIRY SWEETS!
rambutans
those hard flaky pastry with sweet yummerlicious black filling inside
bits of fried.. bits that were stuck into this huge sticky honey block
biscuit ladies fingers covered in chocolate
'lobster' candy
coco crunch!
kellogs frosties
one of my all time favourites that unfortunately is extinct in singapore - mamee veggie crisps, whenever the 'bread man' came around the neighbourhood, my sister and i trotting excitedly behind our grandma would quickly rush to buy those more traditional snacks we've come to love so much. and i would get those chips, even 2 years ago (last time i ever had them) when i spotted them at the 7 eleven at kim's place i bought 10 packets (the checkout person thought i was having a vego party or something)

ah all the childhood food i was weaned on, someday i'm hoping to pass them on to my kids just like my grandma did.

i love you grandma!

03:14

oh and yes try to find it in my heart to forgive those guys who called me fat.

.. FAT HOPE!
21:11

hmmm list of things i aspire to do.
short term ish ones anyway

1. more gracious probably also less picky (but that does NOT include food)
   
2. more elegant (i've got it working there, but could be turned up a notch.. or two) includes improving my posture, really got to stand up straight
   
3. improve whatever little cooking skills i have
   
4. when i'm back for my short breaks, go out and do something everyday instead of watching the same show 4 times or have the entire cable play list in my head for star world, axn, mtv, discovery channel, discovery travel and living and cartoon channels. list would include going out with my AEP buddies, seems i've been neglecting them, and they're such a great great bunch i really don't want to lose the most magnificent friends over reruns.
   
5. just laze about at friend's places do girly stuff talk about rubbish like boys, gush and swoon over fashion things and whatever preconceived stereotypical notion guys think girls do at slumber parties and stuff. CHICK FLICKS!
   
6. stop dressing to particular 'themes'
   all time sandra looks include
   - preppy
   - casual ivy league student
   - glamorous rock
   - 'ballerina' which comes under the feminine theme really
   
7. after every semester when i'm back for the hols i'm getting a new hairstyle, change can be fun!
   
8. VISIT IJ! the bestest bestest best teachers ever! i would definitely send my daughters there provided most of the teachers i like are still there.
   this is a partial continuation, must go visit toot with cinnamon rolls
   
9. take up the piano once again, and therefore have more faith in my playing
   
10. ahhh something quite important, get in the habit of telling my friends when i'm back from aussie. i'm so so sorry guys! i'll make it up to you all really
    
11. be more photogenic (ie stop smiling like an idiot better yet actually smile PROPERLY for the camera)
    
12. really got to stop being so OCP (obsessive complusive personality)

20:26

since i'm on the topic of indulgent lifestyles,
ladies here's a way to check if the diamond he gives you is the real deal.
a real diamond would NOT show up under xray.

so HA! beware fellas, we're onto you!
16:19

'Every woman should have four pets in her life.
Mink in her closet, jaguar in her garage, tiger in her bed and a jackass who pays for everything.
20:10

another reason to add as to why i'm such an idiot

ever since i heard that ns salary was 350ish i've always been under the impression that it was 350 A WEEK!

ok not very bright.
08:59

from judging amy, maxine gray and her grandkid

grandma what's anorexia?

it's a disease when women read magazines.
21:47

caught the 'tallest man' episode of little britain and finally after quite while searching for the identity of the hot hot hot hot HOT blacksmith.. tada!
he's graham beasley!

another guy to add to my list of sexiest men ever!
he tops it when topless *wink*

good grief, did i just say that?
02:27

been to the gym for 2 days straight, doubt i've lost any weight the only thing i've lost is the feeling in my ass and the part on the trunk that's right beside the underarms think it's the pectoralis major, then again i'm not very good with the muscule groups and the specifics.

well was 10 mins for the first lecture of the history and philosophy of psychology series, and was surpriesd to see that there were less than half of the usual number of students. well students usually tend to skip the first lecture (for summer school it's more like the first day) since it's a overview and introduction into the particular psych topic.
petra van somethingsomething (her surname defies my wretched spelling abilities) was reluctant to use the second hour to move on to the subject proper since there were so many MIA. so she dismissed us after 40 mins! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
though it took quite a while for the class to fully absorb the fact that there were no other lectures after today's brief intro and that we wsere dismissed an hour an 20 mins earlier.

thankfully i wanted to hit the gym during the 1 hour break before my tutorial so i had brought all my gym stuff.
righteous! so instead of having to rush a gym session under an hour as i had planned but now i had more than 2 hours to include a decent workout including cardio and weights.

which now i'm kinda regretting since my the army bit of me is hurting now. argh it was really sore and difficult to run without being able to move my arms along for the momentum.

well going to lunch now then hitting the sack for a bit of shut eye before dinner till the PREMIRE OF SUPERNATURAL!

oh oh i can't wait!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
12:09

hmmm since it's the new year and i'm all up for change.
could anyone (do people even read my blog? i know pretty and ed do, sometimes even my sis. but who else besides them do?????) suggest any templates for my blog, had this current one for more than a year and it's time for a revamp.
well this is what i'm looking for, or at least hoping to find a template that has these following points:

- girly, but not overly feminine

- elegant even if it's simple. something classic

- something that uses the whole screen rather then my current format that wastes alot of page area and cumbersome scroll bars, it's rather impractical for reading and viewing of pictures.

- something that reflects my character

- artistic but please no modern art, everyone knows i'm pretty much old school for art preferences then again there might be more contemporary works that transcend the distinction between classic timeless art and modern works (good grief i sound like an art history teacher)

- something that doesn't have a dominating black background, i don't know it just seems to lack character. having some print and words against a black background seems rather unimaginative, my current format doesn't 'work' and bring out qualities against the black but rahter both together now seems rather bland and non descript.

if any of you do have something in mind, drop me a note. seriously feel free to use my tag board, it's feeling rather neglected. truly do value your comments, since most of them brighten up my day! (actually night since i'm more of a nocturnal creature)

thanks
23:16

Reasons why I'm such a freak

1. I watch lord of the rings just for scenery of new Zealand (that was in preparation for the new Zealand trip, though I still fell asleep AGAIN watching return of the king)

2. I make strange squeaky sounds incessantly

3. I'm not going to eat lamb cause I think lamb are so cute! This 'revelation' came when I saw the most adorable sheep in new Zealand... It was a soft toy..

4. I clean obsessively, I've an obsessively compulsive behavior, basically pretty much anal retentive. Hello even at denise's new year's party I was deprawning prawns and crabs too, much to gracie's delight she didn't eat the prawns cause she doesn't like peeling them. so I was the self appointed deprawner amongst other things.

5. I get adrenaline rushes whenever I come up with the most igneous answers and about to share it with the class.

6. I cleared 36 bags of garbage from mark's house after cleaning it inside out.

7. I finished a 5 litre industrial size bottle of bleach (granted I started with slightly more than a litre of bleach) after sloshing the whole lot all over mark's bathroom.
the sink
the toilet bowl
the cistern
behind the toilet bowl
the numerous corners
the shower stall
the gaps between the shower tiles that have turned grimy with accumulated dirt

8. I'm a less perfect version of bree van der kemp (you know the OCD red head from desperate housewives)

9. I think rugby players are scary due to the fact that they have tree trunks instead of thighs. and whenever I see a huge sized islander I think to myself 'huh, a rugby player.'

10. I scan through people's blogs to see if i'm even remotely mentioned. for instance when Alex posted that some ass had apparently stood him up for a lunch appointment (which was me, but honest to god I had totally forgotten!) I was actually pleased with myself that I got mentioned.

11. I kept the roll of toilet paper from the 600 dollar a night villa in new zealand cause it was 3 ply with uber cute seahorses, seashells and seaweed.

12. I shaved an entire 1 kg block of chedder in 2 sittings.

13. After ed commented about Kevin being in the same company as him, I realized that I still have the poems that Kevin had written for me.. nearly 4 years ago.
21:27

quote from a shirt in new zealand, one of the most amusing things i've ever read:


15:20

complaint that my pic didn't not have a caption.

the picture several enteries below:

this is aaky and i. aaky is what i call my cousin vicky. you can't spell vicky without icky. we are in the botinical gardens in new zealand. new zealand has alot of cows that are lazy and alot of sheep. ness says all the sheep are fake. the tourism board of new zealand conspired with the locals and plant fake sheep in the fields. that is why ness is right. the sheep ARE fake. i'm not eating lamb anymore. toy lambs are so cute with sincere eyes.
21:39

correction:

this stupid girl has made a mistake.
they are in the same COMPANY NOT PLATOONS.
21:29

edgar and kevin in the same platoon.
now things would get VERY interesting.
20:17


22:13

wonder how ed is doing now in tekong?
hmm.. terribly exciting the unknown
17:46

my stomach is churning, feels likes the butterflies decided to take a break from fluttering and pick up tae bo.

arteries feel like they're that much closer to a cardiac arrest.

cramps in stomach and legs.

been hyperventilating so much that the lubricant lining of the lungs against my chest is somewhat worn out by the excessive friction.

throat is so dry and coarse that desert sand would be luxurious compared to it.

basically my body courtesy of my brain has shut down with the onset of a mild panic attack of sorts.

i'm beyond woe is me.
it's now..
dead is me.
17:41

i missy my little kitty..
09:29

token post since i've been neglecting this blog
really sleepy can barely keep my eyes open
had the best time ever making fun of the german language

realised that i'm extremely eloquent in german, ness too!

walked around tp with ness and vic
met nessa's fave woman in the odd dollars shop, drove the fave woman mad deciding what sweater sizes i should get whilst vic was embarassed about wearing the very shirt she bought from there and ness was toturing us with the whole 'oh gooooooooodness don't know what size to get for ignatius, what size is this, what size is that, can he fit it, SANNNNNNNNNN try on the shirt for me....'

then went to musti and had an adventure getting there, coutesy of stupid ness!
spent years and years picking out cleansers, shampoos, hair dyes, hello panda, nessie's stupid no transgender fat biscuit cubes, moisturizers, mascara, nail polish, barbie perfume, dove set, nivea cream in those really old school starker blue containers which i almost bought it for that reason alone, my winnie the pooh tins GOD they're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! (i need to grow up don't i)

then headed back home

typing this blog entry

heading off to sleep

night
22:03

rather dazed, just woke up after thanksgiving with vic's family. it's these offbeat family moments that i really enjoy so much, getting really hyped to spend time together in new zealand, speaking of which the chua sisters ie my mom and her sister (auntie liz) are looking through hotels it's extremely amusing since it's supposedly a 'sai gang' (think it means shit job) man the chua sisters are whacked. it runs rapidly in the family.
anyhoo i'm falling asleep again, called ed and got laughed at saying that i deserved to get scratched by rusty who was overexcited to see moi after so long, since i'm the conditioned stimulus for overly indulgent food. this afternoon he wanted to throttle me for commenting that i didn't discriminate against his dog, i just hated ALL his dogs. bad move.
oh well, i'm going to bed and i'll continue this tmr or something. going to sleep to brooks and dunn that's what she gets for loving me.
nothing better than a country ballad to send you off to beddy bye.
23:50

oh christmas tree oh christmas tree
we stole the pauline's christmas tree
bring me my bow of burning gold
bring me my arrow of desire
oh christmas tree oh christmas tree
we have the pauline's christmas tree
23:57

oh christmas tree oh christmas tree
we HAD the pauline's christmas tree
22:07

talalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalala (done to the irrinnoying tune of happy tree friends!)

TOOT IS GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT! LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT!!
YAY!!! note the difference between my post regarding goat's wedding and toot's wedding!
oh happy day! yay!!!!! i'm so freaking happy for him!!

man never thought this day would come pity i can't go back for the wedding, DAMN YOU ECONOMY AND POLICY!! WORST SUBJECT IN THE KNOWN WORLD!!

yay!! i'll keep you all updaaaaaaaaaaated!

can you all believe it? no? neither can i but i'm so happy for him!!

stupid bugger hasn't even STARTED his wedding vows, hmmm reminds me of.. ME! well the whole AEP bunch of my year where we only started our prep boards on the day it was due.

hahahaha.

good times.
good times indeedy.
13:18

exams suck..




the results suck even more
02:41

'LIES! LIES!! LIES!!! That's all i ever hear from you! You lie when the truth would serve you better!!" Rick screamed at Cindy. He had just returned from retriving a sweater from Cindy's car, where he had found several videotapes on the front seat that he had told him that she had returned days earlier. Rick became enraged. This type of lie from Cindy seemed habitual but Rick's furious outburts had no effect on her behaviour.
Later that night after Rick had cooled down somewhat, Cindy intitate some passionate love making. 'OH RICK! you are SO sexy, so masculine, SO BIG! Oh God, how you turn me on!!" Rick once again forgave Cindy's misdemeanor..

the above illistration demonstrate some of the many paradoxes that characterize the phenomenon of lying. Rick is furious with Cindy when he doens't want her to lie yet he is all to ready to hear her lies (flattery) about his sexual prowess.

--------------------------------------------------------

that's taken out from a book about lying. think it was entittled lies lies lies

not so sure but i'll check after my exams so please don't haul my ass to jail for supposed copyright infrigment.

haha but isn't it such a strange example of lying to give, much less use it as the opening for your book, then again with something related to sex, you've got your readers hooked!
maybe when i become an academic i would write a book on lying, since people say my fabrication skills are simply incredible, refer to frey's testimonial on my lying capabilities. the best thing is i come up with such great plausible excuses on the spot.

i'll give you a tip to whet your appetite for my possible publication:

an important aspect of lying well is always to include lots and lots of details.



would i lie to you?

22:27

this entry was meant to be posted on Oct 14 but for some strange reason i saved it instead of posting it, so it's almost a month late but since i spent effort typing it all out, don't want to let it go to waste..

lalala very bored during martin daly's lecturer, ended up drawing quentin blake-esqe giraffeeeeeys the whole lecture!
somehow i had hoped this this insane cognition person would make the most entertaining and amusing of lecturers esp when he usually bursts in midsentence about rabbits - so me right?
so i had such high hopes when i walked into wallace expecting one of the most memorable psyc lectures to date. with a topic like emotions teamed with a potentially kick ass person lecturing us i must say i was left somewhat disappointed. granted that i might have gone in with too high an expectation besides i previously had attended lisa zadro and michael walker's(wwwwwhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hehehehhehehehehe) lectures on emotions so these two being quite possibly the most awesome psyc lecturers ever, might have set a rather high precendent for poor martin daly.
perhaps it was cause he was going through the really dry techincal aspects of emotions, rather than the interesting more social context way that zadro and walker did. no offence even i find caleb owens so so so much more interesting than him! oh goodness what has the world come to????
oh god, i almost died laughing when he did a spin on popular video games such as barbie (????) and grand theft auto, jsut to make his point on sterotypes derived from schemas. utterly hilarious. i think i burst my spleen. but honestly today's caleb owens lectues ranks very very high on my list of best lectures i've attended so far.
ha, ok he was mentioning on how social constructs have influenced perceived sterotypes on different genders - for guys it's obviously grand theft auto, fast cars, killer weapons (hahaha i couldn't help myself), blatant disobediance to the law and violence galore. so he showed us the cover of grand theft auto and i gave a little yelp of joy, recalling what fun it is to use the cheats to upgrade your car to a tank and run over cops. anyhoo, he made grandtheft auto into....

MINOR TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS! good lord it was so amusing. tried finding for that image on google since he googles almost everything for his lectures.

speaking of which, i wanted to show mark the picture of this 70/80s pic of this gay guy who looks like bob from that 70's show but clad in a towel with this sleazy cheesy grin with his hand forming a gun with corny leering wink, teamed with a huge fro.
so i googled gay guy and had tons and tons of obscene gay guys buggering one another or doing very explict stuff to each other or simply posing IN THE BUFF, assaulted my poor visual sensors!!
yelped EEEEEEEPPP! before trying to hastily close the window whilst not looking at the screen which proved rather difficult, mark was laughing so hard at my embarassment.
but it was truly a disturbing site, hmph wonder what had gone through caleb owen's mind when he was googling images of gay guys.

eewwwww.

well to sum it all up, marty daly is gonna get another chance to redeem himself.

oh well, like i always say - never judge clothes when only on the hanger.

so there's always next week to really give me a gauge on what sort of lecturer he'll be.
16:48

haloooooweeeeen!

unfortunately, with grey's anatonmy and JAG being at 830 and 1030 tonight, we couldn't go trick or treating. we had planned to go round.. college!
(or colleges) and ask for candy, greedy little piggies, aren't we.

for paul we had intended to knock down, either fred, stewart, jordon's door. however since the break up between jordon and jenny, that option was struck out but it would have been such a hoot. we'll probably end up getting booze from jordon, tea from stewart and fred apparently a tightarse (according to jenny and the rest of paul's) so we aren't expecting to get anything from him. helllllooooooooo, he's the son of the SWISS AMBASSODOR for cryin' out loud. oh well..

back to candy, i've loads of candy canes which i'm using to decorate my room, (getting all festive you see!!) all the pretty red and white SANCTA stripes really brighten up a room and what could be better than edible decorations!

anyhoo there's always next year for trick or treating and by then we would have made load more friends who would be good sports when a bunch of whacked girls come around asking for candy.
23:46

ahh the end of the year is approaching and yes.. THAT time of the year is approaching..

the naming of the sexiest man alive by people's magazine. so people are raking through magazines, films, shows, interviews and other media trying to make the very tough choice of deciding who would crowned with that very lovely title.

well looking at last year's winner, jude's antics in the past year really doesn't help with his already shaky position, but HOT DAMN was he every so delectable on the cover of people's magazine, if memory serves me right he's was sharing the cover with some random people. snazzyily dresses metrosexual womanisers have never looked so good since...

hmmm AGENT MCDREAMY!
yeah you know that was coming didn't you, tho he's fully heterosexual, would be such a waste to relegate him to the fellas don't you think.

so in light of the upcoming decisions, i've decided to compile my own list of the OOOAAAHHHHHH top 10 sexist men to ever grace God's ever so green earth (in no particular order but if you know me well you'll know who are the top of the top on my list).

Hugh Jackman
whenever he came on the set topless, the film crew and cast would be clapping and cheering wildly for him.
during the flashback scene of X Men 2 while he was filming the corridor run (in which he is nude YUM! and backlit), he turned the corner and saw the female cast members, including James Marsden (cyclops) mother, waiting for him, hooting and waving dollar bills. Definitely would have joined that crowd.
And so to ensure that he had as many cast and film crew present for certain days, Bryan singer would tell them that they would be filming scenes of jackman without clothes - there was always full attendance on those days.

George Clooney the reason I got started on watching medical dramas, oh George George practice on me! *inside sancta joke*
would totally go for him if he was much much younger, then again i would go for most of the guys on my list if they weren't so old (compared to me anyway)

Harrison Ford talent and looks! deadly combination esp when teamed with whip and teaser of a hat and witty lines. when i was reading Da Vinci Code *gasp, yes i did read that book when i should have been studying for my O's* and as soon as Dan Brown mentioned that langdon was harrison ford in harris tweed, my loyalties went straight to the gorgeous protagonist from that point onwards i couldn't bear to put the book down even when the content was at it's trashiest but i HAD to know what happened to the good looking hero.

David James Elliot
HOT HOT SIZZLING PILOT UNIFORM. 'nuff said.

Pierce Brosnan
no list would be complete without agent Mcdreamy now would it? oh oh Thomas crown affair! Feast your eyes on him, and HE LIKES ART AND SAILING! *swoooooon* oh yes indeed this charmer has stolen my heart away..


Prince William
yeah the only one i could get off dating and not seem that i'm a sarong party girl of sorts, man he's the only reason why i would support a monarchy in England (even if it IS a constitutional one) otherwise he wouldn't have been in the spotlight and us wee lassies would be deprived of his royal good lookingness

Val Kilmer
hahaha yes ming you DO know me rather well, kilmer is just so worthy of all his on screen time on the saint, *grumble grumble* daft SA can't even come up with a more original school logo without having to rip it off a movie. Unfortunately his role as king Phil father of Alexander the great didn't do much to his image, not a pretty picture I must add. but man was jolie ever so freaking gorgeous, she was the sole saving grace of the movie.

Patrick Dempsey
just cause i watch so much gray's anatomy so it only seems fair i include him in since he is the eye candy of the show, just like George Clooney from his ER days, sigh! can't stay away from the charming slightly cocky good looking bad boys.

notice a pattern, i like my MEN classic vintage old school.

the hot blond god i saw at uni several months ago.. alas i never was fortunate enough to meet him once again

oh woe is me

TOKEN MENTIONS

JFK jr.
aaahhh the days when American politics entranced the whole world, lucky duck, he got looks from both of his extremely photo friendly parents, JFK and Jackie O - the epitome of class, decorum and grace.

Hugh Grant
only for his floppy hair and goofish sheepish grin that never fails to get girls squealing in delight

Jake Davenport
i know i know what's up with me and the English? how can you resist the lilting accents and well manner charms of such well brought up class, come to think of it Jake davenport is a devilishly slightly more rugged version of Hugh grant don't you think.

James Marsden from the bar crooning Ally McBeal days

the hot ass gigalos from deuce bigalow European gigalo

where is brad Pitt i hear you scream in indignation? or Johnny depp for that matter? i suppose they'll have to fit under token mentions though this compliation is based solely on my preference for looks and no way talent otherwise Johnny depp would be WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY up there.

any suggestions who should be included?

i'll add pictures later on when i have the time, or trying to procrastinate.

23:39

No brainers for guessing this is an WHACKED AMERICAN DAD.

A letter to the editor of Men's Health Magazine from a 'concerned' *cough* father about his son.


My son is a decent kid, but I started picking up signs that he was gay recently. He is about to turn 17, and I've noticed that he has not had many relationships with girls until now. His first girlfriend he had when he was 15, and now he's been dating a girl for about 5 months. But like many people have pointed out, gays often try to date girls to cover up their homosexuality.

So apart from the inexperience with girls, there are some other clear signs of homosexuality. For example, he likes music and he even plays an instrument in high school. Also, he plays tennis which means he probably likes to watch fit men running around.

What worries me is that he may not even know he's gay yet. I don't want to shock or anger him when I reveal this to him, but that may be unavoidable.

Also, how should I tell his girlfriend? This could potentially devestate the both of them, so I need to do it in the right way.

The problem is that he's been getting pretty serious with his girlfriend lately. They stay out late together, I see them kissing alot when they're getting into his car, and I don't want them to get too attached before he becomes gay.

---------------This only gets better..------------------

Frankly I'm concerned that he's not really acting gay at this stage. The gay "hobbies" are there but the actual gay behavior has yet to develop.In order to expedite the process I need to make sure he knows that he's gay and to move him into a more typical gay state of mind. At the rate he's going now, he might not ever become gay. He needs me to help him come to grips with who he is.

The thing is, I've already told all my friends that he's gay and if I can't get him to admit that he's gay, I'll lose a 500 dollar bet.

01:35

Strangeness

15:21

Bland. James bland.

thought I should post something related to the horrible choice of Craig what's his face being cast as James Bond, was utterly devastated and absolutely indignant (to say the very least) when I heard that the coveted role of bond went to him.
eeeeeeewwwww
and he HAD to be ugly.
HELLO???!!!???

you had Hugh jackman! I mean HUGH FREAKING JACKMAN!!
and you DIDN"T CHOOSE HIM AS BOND!

what in the..

hmph, after the bombshell that agent mcdreamy wasn't going to be bond anymore I though oh great there goes my very implausible dream of every wanting to be a.. ahem.. Pierce Brosnan Bond girl. I mean COME ON! It's a fairly respectable even prestigious fanstasy albeit strange.

for reason still unknown I still can't get my head around the fact that of all the celebrities I drool over, most of them are about a decade younger than my dad!
ewwww right.
no offence daddy.

but you get where I'm going. but how can you not think he is just absolutely gggaaaarrrggghhh *mouth wide open drooling at the thought of him*
OH OH! david elliot too!
who's he you ask?
WHO"S HE!!!!!!!

JAG!
he's the more than swoon worthy slightly roguish cocksure charmer harm!
ooooooooaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE A GUY IN UNIFORM!
man oh man oh man oh man!

there are several exceptions to that tho.
army guys are so gay, it's really not funny.
GAG! i'm being superficial and callous, but it's the sad truth.
army uniform esp with the little cross between a beret/cap/sniper's cap, you really should just do the world a fave and kill the guy who came up with such a stupid ensemble.
who in their right minds would think that was remotely appealing to the ladies!
urgh.

i'll finish this entry up later, I wanna go to sleep I only had 5 hrs last night and had a fairly long day. god damn it.
I HATE spring!
BRING ON AUTUMN OR WINTER!
just not spring!

there's flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies flies EVERY FREAKING WHERE!
and the weather is almost as bad as singapore! in singapore I can deal with the heat, at least I can endure the scorchers of 37 degrees here if I could be comforted by the fact that I can happily retreat back to a nice air condition room.
I don't even GET a fan for crying out loud.

I HATE spring.
oh where are the biting autumn nights I love so much?
01:34

note: in tribute to T2, i'm using their trademark colours for this entry

mmmmmmm how can you NOT love teaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
popped over to T2 i love that place, it's almost meditative the devine floral smells of gently brewing tea wafting through the gorgeous mild spring afternoon air, the last vestiges of deep rich golden sunshine streaming through the window ah sigh, the place for tea, appreciation of the best life has to offer (books, art, sydney uni grounds, ancient history, the sun around 4pm, psycho happiness..)
the store's truly inviting, lacquered ancient chinese and japanese newspapers cover the walls- a comination of deep but not overpowering raspberry and warm elegant muted colours, eclectic oriental and simple yet classic furniture, bambo pieces mixed with stark contemporary clean line blacks..
guilty as charged!
bought french earl grey to mix with my assam dikom, and botanic floral tisanses for a lighter fruity taste to welcome the first signs of the spring (just minus the damned flies that keep buzzing on and on and on and on)

the john's oval is just so pretty! the entire field dotted with patches of dandelions and tiny little daisy like flowers, was doing my part by encouraging dandelion growth. brought out a nice cup of tea to enjoy in the warm 4pm afternoon sun plucking a whole bunch of dandelions and blowing them, watching them be carried off my the wind and start sneezing when the wind suddenly changes direction and the dandelion fluffy goes right in your face, *sniff sniff*

anyhoo perhaps when my pockets are lined, i'll head over and buy

bai mu dan - pale elegant full leafed white delicate buds plucked ealy spring, it's really smooth on the palate. compartively priceier than the already expensive selection at t2 since it's one of the most rare teas.

still it's not as hard on the wallet as first flush darjeeling tea, that mark being psycho rich ass person that he is, wants to get it for his girlfriend, what the.. it's 130 aussie for i think 250g and here i am complaining about my french earl grey being 12 moolahs for 100g, i think i might quite possibly built up some allergy to french earl grey or perhaps it's an excessively 'cooling' tea cause my nose is running non stop and since i've ceased coupious consumption of my brew my nose has more or less been fine, or perhaps the piriton and the whole medicine concotion kicked in.. oh man, me raving about piriton, don't you think it's the most lovely shade of yellow, it's this mild yet deeply rich vibrant shade of golden sunshine yellow, which if you all didn't already know is one of my favourite colours, my bedsheets are of that same shade - really brightens up the room, its' so cheerful you can't help but adore it

so i'm buying that bai mu dan for the hell of it, but teas i really really really really wanna get:

black
darjeeling
kenilworth or fikkal illam
best blend - yummerlicious rich blend of malty assam dikom softened by the delicately pretty fragrant darjeeling. it's this really mmmm refined brew quite indulgent really, an alternative to my own assam dikom//french earl grey brew to enjoy gorgeous late afternoons

green

china jasmine -
cause i'm quite picky about my green teas - i only take them with jasmine

buddah tears -
it's about 60 for 100g, it's a fresh bud and 1st 2 leaves which are plucked and hand shapred into tiny pretty pearls which are rolled with fresh jasmine flowers, so so pretty to watch it unfurl when you steep it

lung ching formosa - yummy top quality taiwanese lung ching, it's almost floral in aroma and taste , same price as buddah tears which if i'm not wrong are the 2 most expensive green teas

FLAVOURED TEAS!!
now this gets unconventional! yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

artic fire - doesn't it just sound so scandanavian and dangerously inviting, the deep dark lavender blue flower strand made me think of thrilling blue flames. slightly spicer than my usual teas. surprisingly very tasty

blue mountain - one of the popular alluring T2 classics it's vanilla scented tea with such loely cornflowers and floral overtones, velvet flavour and texture

caramel cuddle - the name says it all doesn't it? indulgent combination of caramel, lemonbalm and the barest hint of honey

china rose - fragrant black tea infused with the lushest rose petals. mmMMmmMm

cinnamon toast - i think i'll next have it with french toast yums!

madagascan vanilla - self explanatory, haven't tried it yet but smelt the leaves tad too sweet for my liking

mellow mango - ahhh furity soothing mix of mango and calendula petals with chinese black tea

monk pear! what i got for lily maybe one day i'll go to her room for some tea

raspberry rush - summer flavours! ooodles of raspberries and hibiscus, probably would get some for vicky, mmmmmmmmmmm

very berry - oooooah so many berries! berry overload! wheee! blackberries, raspberries with the hint of strawberries! drool! now THAT"S what you called ice fruit tea!

peach ginger punch - i HATE all those bullshit ones that you get from instant mixes1 URGH! URGH! mass manfactured tea loaded with artifical flavours and the tea leaves have gone through so much processing that the end result probably isn't tea anymore. besides i don't really trust tea bags, it's tea leaves all the way for me. the tea leaves in tea bags have been crush into powders and usually to cut corners, other cheaper random leaves are added in so the intergrity of the tea is compromised. at least they can't cheat you with whole tea leaves!

ok basically i love tea, people appreciate their wines, i do the same for tea. yum!
i would go on i still haven't covered the HERBAL and FRUIT TISANES!!! *gushes* i'll do that some other day there's about 20 more flavours!

so the reason for heading down to T2 was too pick up some tea for lily in apprecation got helping me with my ancient history.
i know i know i got my essay almost a month ago but i didn't want to go and thank her for her helping me so much with the essay and clearing up alot of questions about republican rome, which luckily for me, is her area of speciality when it comes to ancient rome.
so consulted the extremely friendly and chirpy people there about what tea would be suitable for lily who adores chai and english breakfast tea, since her flavour in teas deviate more to flavoured black teas, the ever lovely person recommended monk pear which is a big favourite esp with lovers of chai.

yay after exams i'll go back and buy more teas and expose you all to tea when i'm back!

get excited!

16:12

angels playing with me

totally craving to listen to electrico's mine
ugh, amazingly good song
damn you all
hurry up and release the new album already
there's only so long i can wait
hmph

..this feelin so fine
i know you are mine..
23:20

You Are Best Described By...

The Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh

HA! true van gogh fan aren't i! AREN"T I!
20:41

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

20:41

sigh was listening the the radio whilst finishing the 800g, 98% fat free apple pie when the painfully familiar chords of the 3 doors down's here without you started playing

a hundred days have made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lives have made me colder
and i don't think i can look at this the same
all the miles that seperate...

i scrambled to get the remote to switch the radio off before that line came on, even with the remote in hand pointing towards the stereo i couldn't help but just listen to that very line before i switched it off.

i'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight it's only you and me..

everything i know
and everywhere i go
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
and when the last one falls
and when it's all been said and done
it gets hard but it won't take away my love

you're right
the absence IS taking its toll
20:26

No Hoffence!

--Bella Bella Signorina--

13:12

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

20:29


Regina George


Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
23:11

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me.
That's what I hope to give to you forever.
I love you.
01:34

can i just kill myself?
00:03

hmmmm just got off the phone with the family, was really great to hear my dad sound so chirpy the kind when you have a spring in your step and you think to yourself hmm all is right with the world.
man i finished off a whole jar worth of jam, my combination of strawberry and raspberry jam, yummers. i'm really undermining my efforts to lose weight! BAD SANDRA!
just for dinner i had had 4 bread rolls, 300g of cereal, and carbonara pasta from this place pasta shot down in newtown, the owner was really friendly tho the pasta was a tad pricey but the take out container was such a novel adorable orange carton, it's exactly like KFC's popcorn chicken but this lovely shade of orange. well i'm incorporating lots of carbs back into my diet since carbs apparently facilitate muscle formation.
no no NO!
i'm NOT going into some body building crazy, heaven forbid!
with more muscle, it's a more comprehensive weight loss situation- i'll leave the bak bak to my brother, who is SO DAMN CUTE! say anything against him and i'll kick you senseless.

so anyhoo i've been playing my handphone recording of billy joel's the way you are for the past hour, just love to dance to that song, correction, i'll love to dance to that song, it's quite silly to be dancing by youself with an imaginary partner you know.
maybe when i'm back i'll find somewhere or someone who teaches waltzes and other variations of the simpler types of ballroom dancing, yes the really really princessy girly part of me is emerging once again.

come on almost ALL the disney princess's could dance - belle, cinderalla, (ok fine they're both not princesses by birth but still princesses) anastasia, sleeping beauty, lalalalala SEE?
so all the more reason i must learn how to dance, well not really, all the more reason i shall make GUYS learn how to dance, the girl FOLLOWS the guy's lead, so it is pertinent that the guy really knows how to dance. hm.

ok this entry wasn't very meaningful, then again hardly any of my entries ever are, but i'm kinda updating for the sake of updating. so yeah, and thanks for the comments pretty!

22:54

anydiddlyhoo, jsut finished my psyc tute quiz and waiting for the results,this time it was totally unassisted so let's see what my memory has retianed from all the classes besides the fact that helluva lot of my classmates are inked. how very interesting. you wouldn't quite expect it from psyc people i suppose.
diane has 4 of the most intricate and perfectly done horses all in various stances across her entire lower back, looked as if it was done in watercolour, it's really amazing how it was done. she used to be a horse trainer so it seems.
there's this other indian guy who has chinese characters tattooed along the length of his forearms and on the area between your index finger and thumb when clenched into a fist.
another guy has a pattern of sorts on the nape of his neck that trails down into the collar of his shirt
someone else has the infinity sign behind her ear
quite a handful have running pattern that encircle their whole arms
and lastly, not forgetting kristan my tutor who has his forearms all covered in dark inks, couldn't peel my eyes off them from the whole tutorial and yet for the life of me i can't quite recall what exactly his tat was.

ok what was the purpose of this entry, ah yes. while waiting for my tute quiz results, the msn today thing popped up egging me on to take on the classic rock star quiz. for 3 quizzes my ave score was 7 which is quite sad really, but not too bad an effort considering i had to guess some of the animal/def/dylan questions. so yeah and there was a whole offering of various quizzes and me being me i HAD to do the fairy tale one.

no prizes for guessing what i got. lalala 9! ok i should have gotten 10 but i vaguely recall reading the story about bluebeard when i was in hmmm p2 causei know it freaked me out, but i couldn't remember how he knew that his wife had open his closet and taken a lookie inside.
btw the closet contained all the corpses of his dead previous wives. and the thing that gave her away was that the keyhole of the closet stained the key permanantly with blood.
eeeewww.

unknown to many, most of the well known fairy tales of today aren't all happily ever after as depicted by disney movies, come on! it's disney.
when the little mermaid movie first came out i read the original story and it was so tragic she killed herself in the end after that fickle ass of a prince left her when he tired of her, then she threw herself off a cliff and overwhelmed by such immense grief. the white horses like her poor poor broken heart just crashed into the cliffs, all i remember it was very poetic and i was left jaded and somewhat resentful at the prince.
hmm some kind of prince charming he turned out to be.
if i'm not wrong sleeping beauty was deemed the most violent and 'terrifying' of all disney movies. sigh what fond memories it brings back.
since our 'gang' always watched all these princess based disney movies and were girly to the core, the adults labelled each three of us girls after disney characters.

oh oh try guessing which fairy tale princess, vic, ness and i were? we share very similiar traits to whatever princesses.

come on, guess!

fine fine i'll give you some hints. shortlisting possible characters:
cinderalla
snow white
rapunzel
belle (she's the prettier half of beauty and the beast)
sleeping beauty
jasmine from aladdin
little mermaid





lalalalala, okay.

if you guessed that vicky was beauty/belle, you're spot on! no brainers right, since she's really pretty and all. and she really obsesses about flowers too, fine belle adored roses, but this youngin is psycho about hibiscus. seriously.
besides she had a belle barbie too! oh was i not suppose to say that? ooopsie. well her dad christened her older brother daryl as..... GASTON! hahahahahaha! ok you won't quite get it, it's somewhat of a family joke but go watch the movie, everything would make more sense after that.

ok nessie's should be really really easy to guess. major hint if you haven't already figured it out. SKIN TONE!
yup that's right! snow white she is. aaaaahhhhh i hear you go, really is appropriate for her isn't it. she's really really fair, snow white. get it? haha she'll probably kick me for saying this. but a more recent behaviour of hers, really earns her the title of snow white.

HOUSEWORK!

don't you deny it ness, cause it's TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!

mine isn't really hard to figure out if you know my lifestyle habits, they haven't changed much since i was hmmm 7?
sleeping beauty!
the first half of it is irefutably true, the other half? let's not go there shall we. hmmm the whole concept of beauty sleep could have originated from her. then again if it were the case, i would have been one hell of a beauty right now won't i.

hmph

anyhoo you know how the story goes, she falls into a deep deep deeeeeeeeeeep deep slumber after pricking her finger on a spindle. i can relate to her inner klutz.
people tried to kill her since young, come to think of it, that sounds rather plausible for me. hmmm

ok ok those weren't the actual reasons
i obviously got labelled as sleeping beauty since she sleeps so damn freaking much, even more so like the dead. sound familiar?

some things haven't changed cause i'm still waiting for my darling price charming to sweep this pint sized princess off her feet onto a horse (horse drawn carriage too please) with a precious little bunny in hand. happily ever after.....happily ever after eh? it'll be hardwork but we'll make it happen.

i know you
i walked with you once upon a dream.
i know you
that gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
yes, i know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seem
but if i know you,
i know what you'll do
you'll love me at once
the way you did once upon a dream

15:29

the whole table was abuzz about the upcoming formal and so me being me i naturally had to steer everyone into the topic of dresses, making me think on the obscene number of dresses i have:

3 of the EXACT chiffon dresses in DIFFERENT colours
1. pale cream yellow
2. emerald green
3. staple black
need boobs to carry this one off, but hot damn i adore the silk bodice. when i'm back i'll add a white silk ribbon across the bodice and it'll be simply divine very classic chanel clad audrey hepburn

2 IDENTICAL denim dresses
4. grey which looks like a mechanics outfit
5. tradtional denim
it's like instant lipo and butt lift

pink striped one that is absolutely ghastly, leech's fault for pressuring me to get it, anyone thinking of buying it from me??? please say yes

6. white 'beaded' spag one
very 40s - think christina a in the tilt cha head back music video bought it for a costume party which got cancelled last minute damn it

7. black 'mooks' dress
another black one is absolutely flattering, despite it being cotton it's more of a casual day one

8. strapless pink chanel tweed
not forgetting this very very pretty dress, there's a story behind it and i never fail to tell it over and over again

9. chocolate brown halter dress
it's a very casual cotton dress, can't seem to describe it, it's nothing great really just want a different colour and cut to my other dresses

so i've
yellow, pink, emerald, pink tweed, denim, chocolate, grey, white, black, black

went back a couple of weeks to forcast unfortunately the pretty sales girls weren't there so i didn't get additional discount on the dress i got. bought a black one after pip was incredulous with disbelief after i mentioned i didn't have a black dress when i have dresses of all other imaginable colours.
and got the other black cotton dress when shopping with mark for anniversary present for his gf, which i got him/her the most fabulous white tie back halter top with huge intricate aztec pendent in the centre and the material just fell in the most flattering of folds simply a wowser of a top, i was lusting so badly for it unfortunately the smallest size was 10 but since it's was made of really good stretchy material it looked perfectly alright and that happened to be the last top as well.

so mark got it for his gf, not like i can afford it anyway it's 60 bucks!!!! i was wincing when i saw the price tag, then my face was all downcast after realising that top and i were not meant to be
anyway he still bought it not knowing the price later he was all OMG you mean that top was SIXTY!!!!!! WHAT!!

idiot. make that AC idiot.

i DID warn him, oh well not like he can't afford it. jsut take it as working for 1 hour in uni.

60 bucks, that's alot, then again i've splurged that much before but now i'm more prudent REALLY I AM! but yeah 40 more and i can get my cowboy boots, yeeeeeeeeeeha!

i'll have to try em on with a mini before getting them but my mind's already 75% get them get them!

i know i know i shop alot, but you see i'm doing my part for the economy!

22:53

went to nagoya, which i can officially say i'm super sick of it. considering that i went there last thursday with leech after a bout of not very successful late night shopping. oh well. they were so unbelivably accomadating by letting us dine there despite it was quater to 10 and they were 'closed' by the hour. so we gouging ourselves silly with copious amounts of red meat, seriously i think i polished off slighty more than 800g of meat that night.
anyway back to that particular friday.
so after a not too bad productive day at fisher, mark and i headed off to nagoya since i wanted something realy meaty and value for money. besides i needed to replenish all the iron lost from blood donation since i don't quite believe in taking pills even if they're supplements unless it was those yummy bunny shaped vitamins that i used to get.
arrived there shortly before 7 and was surprised that the place was packed, and so we were seated in between this insufferable guy duo, and this family of 3 with a rather cute toodler.
recited all the meat cuts off the top of my head, unfortunately most of the wait staff only understood jap. so resorted to pointing at the pictures on the menu. the first serving of meat was absolutely delicious, however subsequent servings were just ghastly esp since they had inadequate marinate, the frozen meat was just chucked on the plate so i had to coax the individual slices out of the whole frozen chunk.
so anyway we were talking about his final psych assignment FOREVER and trying to poke holes in the theory he postulated (it's his favourite word) was feeling a tad uncomfortable since i was getting vibes from the guy sitting beside mark, no offence he and his friend had faces that would send people packing in an instant.
so he was leering at me the WHOLE FREAKING DINNER, it got to a point that he didn't even look away when i shot my evil slimy eye look (which my uncle says it's a trademark sandra stare), the audacity of it all!!!
whilst i was washing my hands, mark commented that the guy sitting next to me had the nerve to just tell his friend that he wished i wasn't wearing a bra!!!!


-_-'
(ha finally i used one of those stupid jap anime type emoticons)

my hot pink vee neck was far from suggestive, i do believe that it was vicky's shirt that i was wearing. i accidentally packed it when i haphazardly packing my suitcase since it was so similiar to the colour and cut of my favourite hot pink silk vee neck from bum equipment and i didn't realise that it was of different material. sorry acky!

and he said this AT THE TABLE JUST LIKE THAT! right in front of mark for cryin out loud!!
then again they were speaking in chinese with canto thrown in, their accents were too thick to be placed as singaporeans, neither did they have the distinctive honky or cheena china accents. blissfully unaware that we could understand their entire conversation, not that we were eavsdropping or anything.
earlier during the evening, the guy beside mark was bitching about us, saying that we were ' something kang tang' i don't quite know how to spell that but i know the literal translation was eat potato meaning that we were very ang moh kids. i had that phrase used on me countless time before and always took it as a compliment.

so anyway they refered to us as american children, not western per se, but British to be more precise. they assumed we were British since we only conversed in english and it was slightly accented well mark anyway, you ssssssssooooooo can't tell from his accent that he's remotely singaporean, me on the other hand, every now and then, i have the tendency to lapse back into slightly more singaporean talk (mind you, not singlish)

i was seething when i heard about the bra comment, thankfully for them mark told me when we were a good distance from the resturant otherwise i would be screaming bloody murder or plotting my devious revenge as best i can.
then it occured to me that the guy beside me WAS trying to look down my top the whole time, mark's other comment on that only confirmed my suspicions.

what is wrong with those guys. besides i wasn't looking my best anyway. the pink top was slightly too large for me and my flattering form fitting jeans were starting to look all tired and slack after being worn for 5 days straight, thus it was hanging somewhat baggily. once again not very flattering,

if those comments didn't originate from such sleazebags i would be quite flattered.

ARGH!
21:35

during the man u game, i was behind the sofa blowdrying my hair at 2 in the morning and bitching to mark (a man u supporter no less) about how i really dislike man u (amoungst other EPL teams) for other reasons besides their crappy team, majority of which is overrated overpaid undertalented but well that's just me and i'm biased - just because.

on game nights, when talking to ed (for reasons still unknown he's quite basically the mad mad stauch supporter), the whole conversation for the night would basically be, oh brb, hold on, the game is lalalala, half time is this this this, goodness this guy did this pass that trick to some whatever guy who kicked it to blah blah blah blah, i'm sorry baby but i'm totally disinterested in soccer, unless it's the world cup like in thailand where i was betting with people and earning quite a tidy bundle then i'll start paying attention to footie when it's a nice little side income (oh man the thai days with the aep girls was sigh.. so fun, i just wanna cry when i think about the great times doing the most silly things with all my aep dearies)

anyhoo talking to me about football is the same thing as me discussing the finer points of impressionist movement or fine food appreciation or fashion to you. everything is lost on me, so really don't bother, i'm really not appreciative of it when it doesn't really concern me anyway.

i can't quite decide which is worse his bouts of man u football talk which occurs whenever there's some man u match or his ever constant thoughts that revolve around guitars. *shakes head* the price one would pay for a guitar god, oh well what to do.
you know what he's probably the only guy who i know who could possibly pull off incorporating man u into a love message, like how i know some guys create odes to their honey comparing them to sports gear or 'the ashes' and what have you not.
but guys will be guys i suppose

can't demand that most guys grow out of their ridiculous phases when i'm no better, come to think of it, quite probably worse considering i'm a UNIVERSITY student who makes funny sqeaks/squeals/sqee/gurgling sounds etc, is wishing for her 'my little pony' pony that she had when she was about 6 so she could play with it, or rereading all the kiddy roald dahl stories and cooing in delight at all the adorable illustrations by quetin blake, walking around college in my pink pajama pants with unicorns and colour swirls, or waving overzealously to little kids, making faces and playing with them, running along the aisles petting/squishing/prodding/playing/cuddling random really cute senile looking soft toys and conversing with 'em.

if what the BFG says is true i'm only about 9, make that 7 since i spend more than half my life sleeping.
so actually it's perfectly acceptable what i do. hmmm. goodieeeeeeeeee!
23:32

hmm it's been rather uneventful since my poor tooth/lip/jaw/chin accident, just met up with mark after almost dying of boredom studying at fisher and trying to control myself from grabbing all those delicious art/ancient history books and start devouring them.

gagrgaggrrragh! *me eating books! yum all that fibre!*

he's still just amazed that i'm quite possibly the only person who can get distracted in a library by books and so he's adamant that i'm better off as a geek, and my whole ditzycrazymaddness thing is all a facade for the bookwormy-love-learn-as-much-as-humanely-possible true inner me. which seems to be quite true. then again he also thinks my future children (who he pities since i'm supposedly given them unfortunate names, WHICH IS SO NOT TRUE OKAY!) should be given to social services since their mom's apparently a fruitcake (mmm! i like sheraton fruitcake!)

hmm ok monday was spent as fisher cirriculum trying to finish up (or more like start) my ECOP tute paper which was due at 4.

lalala then about 248 these JACKASS JERKS *grrrrrr* who mostly were from iran and thought they were hippity hip hopping 'niggas' (i would say african american cause i really do respect 'em but those idiots refered to themselves as such) perched their asses on the table RIGHT BESIDE US. of ALL tables, they HAD to choose the one right beside us in the middle of the study area in fisher cirriculum.

it's reassuring to know that people really do have such wide vocabulary. those fellas dictionary's consisted of SHIT, shit shit, defacation shit, shit, blooda fuackin shit, and i swear every alternate word was followed by f**k that, but most irritating of all is BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good grief, i've never heard the word 'bra (the mean brother but once again i must remind you that they think they're THE f'**kin' cool muthafucker ass shit) uttered so many freakin' times outside a 2 day long lingere commercial marathon.

thank goodness i already finished up the bulk of my essay by then, and was doing footnoting and referencing, otherwise i would have told 'em to shove it, or something equally agressive and assertive just to get em to keep it down.

around 340 i gave up trying to proof read my essay for careless mistakes with the whole commotion of what nicknames they should get on their jerseys that-would-pull-the-chicks, i transfered the essay to a thumb drive to send to my tutor on the main access computers since my wireless internet link on my com was unexpectedly stubborn.

after i came back, from sending off my essay 2 floors up, mark told me that that stupid bunch of arses were planning to steal my 'nice pretty laptop (cause i left it at my 'candy' wallpaper) and justified it saying that i totally left it unattended thus i 'deserve to get it stolen by them'.

HELLO??????????? EARTH TO IDIOTS!
i left my laptop under the care of mark, so why do you dumb lowlifes say that i left it unattended! and therefore "i had it coming" if they stole it.
note that i wanted to put think instead of the above bolded say, but i doubt they even work what little brains they had

BUGGER OFF SODS!

that comment really pissed me off, good for them that mark told me that comment after they had left.

'hey maaaaan (said in ridiculous poseur jamiacan accent), we worked so hard today let go getta drunk! at 430 on a monday afternoon no less! PLEASE! don't make me scoff!
WORK???? WTF WHAT WORK???? you mean thinking up synonmys for shit, or what colours and nicknames you could put on your jerseys that would make the chicks want to 'wank' you, their words not mine!, OR perhaps you sods were refering to making such a tough decision to get the material that would clearly 'show your nipples thus girls find it supa hot' OR maaaaaybe bossing your 'bitches at home to wash your clothes then cook for you' OR simply being a bunch of foul mouthed, unruly inconsideration MCP asswipes!

if it were possible, i would have gotten up and bitch slap each and every single one of their pathetic sorry useless asses till they cried for their mamas.
DIE BASTARDS! DIIIIIIIIIIE!!

you know what, i know it's mean and spiteful and very unchristianly to say this, but on their way back from the pub totally pissed drunk, i really do hope that they get beaten by by huge gigantic boyfriends of the ladies in the bar that they tried to push their sleazy filthy cheap selves on.
and in addition to the severe head hemoragging (since their craniums are emptied from the lack of brains anyway, it's safe to assume that it's filled with useless spinal fluid, blood and useless muck all packed tight in that vaccum) AND getting their balls (once again, lackthereof) kicked harder than a pigskin at kickoff, they get their limbs hacked off when the steriod filled boyfriends try to remove the massive amounts of bling they have on themselves.
major bonus if they're passed around and become someone's bitch after getting their packages unwrapped by some huge redneck named bubba (if you know what i mean).

now THAT what i say is "had it coming".

15:29

when it rains, it doesn't just pour, it's a whole goddamn cat 4 thunderstorm for me.

yesterday, for reasons still unknown, karma came and kicked me in the ass across the concrete floor embedded with protruding stone bits and pebbles outside eastern avenue auditorium, not quite appreciative of the irony - of all places right outside eastern ave audi the place where i've skipped many a human resource lectures this semester. damn it really, compared to all places i've been around campus, i HAD to receive retribution at the place i'm hardly ever at. hurmph.

ok here's the long version of it. read if you only have loads of time.

accompanied leech to Broadway since she wanted to pick up some stuff from coles and kmart, then we headed our separate ways she heading off to college with my keys in hand (note: she HAS my keys) and me walking the perimeter of uni to get to the copy centre to pick my political economy reader for my holiday assignments, then drop by Wentworth for the mobile blood donation since it was the last day.

so 25 mins in the unchateristically sweltering MIDDAY sun, (thankfully before leaving college, i had some sense to wear 3 quart cargos and a light 3 quarter sleeved blouse instead of jeans) however i guess some of that well intentioned sense was all used up on picking out my wardrobe.
many can attest to the fact that at times i take even more time deciding on my wardrobe then other women spend to pick out their outfit, pack their purses, put on their make up, do their hair and other morning routines.
so instead of chugging down my usual 2 glasses of water before going out, i had some Assam dikom as a waker upper. since i was trying to make it up to leech for the lousy last weekend and the last thing i wanted to be was groggy.

bad move that i would pay dearly for later (ha, that's an understatement)

so after last minute shopping with leech for presents for her family and friends, it was 5 past 1 so she hurriedly left to college to gather her stuff before catching her 345 flight and i ginerly left to uni copy centre to pick up my dreaded holiday homework.
the midday sun was beating down on poor me unmercifully (to say the very least) as i was walking down city road then i discovered there was a new tea specialty joint/tea and coffee bristo across the road, and figured that their teas can't be as expensive as the $12 each i fork out at T2 for my French earl grey and Assam dikom.

not wanting to jay walk across 6 lanes worth, i did a loop to the nearest crossing which was a good 8 mins walk, only to be dismayed that they didn't stock French earl grey.

so after that furtile detour, i continued to the copy centre and while waiting in line i popped by the uni sports shop for the puma tees embozzled with Sydney university.

pleased that i've made fairly good time reaching the mobile blood collection centre slighty before 2 leaving ample time allowances for a moderate queue before my 3pm mental abilities psychology lecture.

if you recall my previous blood donation experience, there was the same happy bouncy lady who warmly welcomed me once again and gave me a pat on the back for being a repeat donor. after thrusting 2 chilled bottles of water, she quickly ushered me to waiting medical staff for detailed questioning on my medical history.

the nurse was a bit dubious about my weight (YAAAAAYYYY OH JOY!! I"M SERIOUSLY ELATED) well the last time i took my weight i was at a horrendously heavy 46kg, but according to some aussies who i haven't met in a while said i lost weight since returning this semester putting me under 45kg (YAY FOR ME) however i said i probably AM above 45kg barely meeting the minimum weight requirement.

she took my haemoglobin count which was surprisingly low considering that the night before i polished of AT LEAST 600g of PURE BLOOD-Y BEEF medium rare along with quite a bit of chicken and pork UNDER AN HOUR. i'm disgusting but strangely proud of it.

so the blood collection went smoothly as per normal, the uhhh blood collector(?) commented 'you've really big juicy veins for a little poppet, wow such clear veins'. however when they extracted the needle, the wound didn't stop bleeding almost instantly even after i applied pressure but rather soaked through the entire cotton ball really quickly. so i lifted my arm up to reduce blood flow but a thick steady line of blood started sliding down towards the sleeve of my new blouse, so not wanting to stain the sleeves i put my arm back down, which only served to have more blood streaming down my arm in dark thick rivets.

so was watching myself bleed somewhat uncontrollably, lower arm streaked with a bloodtrail panicking on the brink of quiet panic yet i was meserised with such morbid fascination at the very sight.

then breaking out of my slight disturbing daze i got the blood collectors attention and he was taken back at the sight of my bloodied arm. and quickly gave me a wad of cotton balls and pressed on the gaping vein. i was entranced (and sickened but that came much later) when crimson started to diffuse through the cotton wad. so the guy held up by arm and finally the bleeding subsided. then he bandaged my entire elbow.

so i was walking out of the blood collection area when i couldn't navigate myself past the row of chairs down the waiting room then suddenly everything went a glaring stark white.

then next thing i knew, i saw same nice happy welcome lady the thing was that her broad smiling happy demeanor was replaced by creases of concern and she seemed to so much taller than usual.
i was think oh wow she's holding converse shoes that look like mine, and a pair of nice quite skinny ankles in those shoes. hehehe.
then it hit me. i was on my back and she was holding up my legs and several concerned faces were hovering over me.

oh wow. my first time ever passing out. as in FAINTING! cool.

according to this rather homely looking woman clad in a white lab coat she noticed that i was walking wonkyily and i suddenly passed out, thankfully she was right behind me and caught me otherwise i would have hit the metal industrial trolleys. she gently laid me on the carpeted floors where i came to in about 2 seconds. i didn't even realise i fainted, quite an experience really, considering that i didn't even feel it.

then i quietly voiced out do you want me to roll (can't believe i said roll, but it's understandable in my circumstances) to the sides cause i'm in the middle of the walkway. the nurses assured me that everyone else could easily walk around me. so after 5 mins on the floor with my legs propped up on the chair, the woman who caught me and smily lady helped me to the bed in the corner where they insisted i rest till i felt better and gave me a bottle of chilled water with a straw (how thoughtful).

after apologising profusely for the inconvenience caused and potentially delaying their efforts rushing to pack up after the whole week of working HOURS overtime and they just wanted to go back fairly early on Friday after being on their feet since 8.

smiley lady insisted i finish off the excessively saccharine chocolate pudding infront of her before leaving, in between my mouthfuls of that nasty stuff, she mentioned that the sugar would help stabilize my blood sugar levels temporarily.

as soon as i felt well enough i left, not wanting to be a burden on them any further besides i only had 10 mins to get to my 3pm lecture.

whilst crossing over the link between Wentworth and main campus i was feeling a little light headed so sipped a bit more water then headed to Wallace, and happened to chance upon yulike outside eastern avenue, and had a bit of small talk.

when suddenly i was overwhelmed by brilliant stark white light again, then chucked my shopping bags on the ground and good thing i was composed enough to promptly drop to me knees trying to get blood to my head again.

white spots infront in your head is charateristic of oxygen deprivation to your head.

and unexpectedly i keeled over, doubled over FACE FIRST from the throbbing unbearable pain in my cranium. and SCRAPED MY LOWER JAW AGAINST THE SHARP STONES. the impact from slamming FACE FIRST INTO THE SOLID SHARP STONE COVERED CONCERTE left most of my right jaw grazed..

the the real damage was ME CHIPPING MY FRONT TOOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!

a good quarter of it was badly chipped, leaving a jaggered front tooth. the injured tooth PUNCTURED the bottom lip from the inside, and the rest of my undamaged cut my lip. trying to ignore the searing pain and horrific realisation that my front tooth was badly chipped, everything was in a blur - i barely recall getting up with yulike's help and stumbled to the pillar where i slumped to my side in desperation, hitting my head on the brick floor.

i started going hysterical when i realized i couldn't see anything despite my eyes being wide open.
yulike was beyond freaked out, when i was almost screaming OMG, something's wrong i CAN"T SEE! I CAN"T SEE! and almost broke down into tears.

above my hysteria she was waving frantically trying to get me to focus on her hand and then when you thought she couldn't get any more freaked, my face with eyes wide was facing the other direction from her filianing arms and unable to focus on anything in front of me. then tried to calm down knowing that panicking would get me nowhere so taking lots of deep breaths almost to the extent of convulsing while hyperventilating.

several seconds passed, which i swore seemed to be an eternity and i regained my eyesight. thank you God. guess i was fine when vainty seized me, and i went OMG OMG OMG OMG my tooth. then rummaged through my purse for my mirror.
perhaps it was a sign from God, that of all days i didn't carry my anna sui compact mirror, the sight of my badly bruised chin, massively swollen and bloodied lips but worst of all MY CHIPPED FRONT TOOTH, would probably have killed me instantly.

then she asked where i lived so she could bring me back, but i declined saying that mark would be in Fisher special reserve (as always) which was about 100 m from where i was and he knew where i lived. so after taking another swing of water, i gathered my frazzled nerves and called mark and coherently explained what had happened and said i would meet him at special reseve.

got up and managed to get to special reserve without any other incidents then hugged yulike eternally grateful for her help then apologised for the circumstances that we met each other and promised to buy her lunch to express my gratitude. and assured her i was in safe hands and sent her on her way apologising that i had wasted half an hour of precious friday afternoon.

then i walked up and down the desks of special reserve but couldn't find mark, carefully wiping my injured lower face with my hand, i was horrified to find my hand streaked with blood and BITS OF TEETH!! then spun around to go to the toilet where i spotted mark and his face said it all.

noting the time he dragged me to the one stop medical centre at Broadway, i started to lamenting that it was 330 and being Friday most dentists would be closing up soon, and started whinging about my chipped tooth. he shot back saying that i seemed to be fine enough again if i could whine about such superficial things like my front tooth and how i was disfigured for life, rather than a potentially fractured jaw, or injuries sustained to my neck - whiplash.

the walk to Broadway was fine enough, when we reached the medical centre the bleeding and swelling was aggravated. Mark insisted that our first stop was to a GP to ensure that i didn't sustain any damage to my jaw. then i answered his question best i could, explaining in detail the events prior to sitting in his office.
taking my blood pressure he commented it was rather low 90, and approximated that i had lost about 50-100ml of blood in addition to the 400ml from donation. Mark answered the rest of the questions for me since his parents were doctors too.

thankfully my jaw was fine and the tooth damage was superficial only the enamel was chipped but the tooth's nerve was almost exposed and i should get it capped to prevent infection.

during the consultation i was obsessing about my tooth, i'm vain. i can't help it.

then went to the dentist where the dentist was backlogged so we waited for about half an hour and i distracted myself by showing off my buys from the morning. was sitting on sofa displaying off the dress shirts i helped reiner buy and the other tops i got. he quite liked the sass and bide tube top i got for an amazingly cheap 25 from 85! then i started on one of my favourite subjects - piriton!! it's a long story.

after that i got bored flipping through the magazines and pleaded with mark to let me go shopping since the shops were barely 30 steps away and the seasonal sales were insane! he thought MOI was insane after saying that. damn the doctor for saying that i wasn't to do anything strenuous, shopping included (mark was laughing when the doctor said that)

so the dentist did whatever dental stuff he had to do, asking questions. took an xray of my jaw and the poor tooth. oh oh the xray was so CUTE! it was about 1 inch by 1 inch. the dentist rolled his eyes when i was cooing on how cute it was. anyway he was somewhat reluctant to cap my tooth as he rather let the surrounding lip injuries, but i was adamant that i wanted, NEEDED to get my tooth fixed. so checking again that i was fine enough to proceed. the dentist went to work

half an hour later, he was done. and mark exclaimed that i was 'even better than the original' hmph. but i was estactic with his remark..

then paid up it was 250 but 10% off for students.

went to the ladies to check out the expensive handiwork and was AMAZED!
by golly, the dentist's a miracle worker!!
even MOI can't tell the difference so i'm quite pleased..

you know what it's taken me almost 2 hours for this entry.

so i'll stop now and continue later.

yay i'm so happy with my tooth. though now it's rather sensitive and i can't abuse or take my teeth for granted anymore.
20:04

HAPPIX BIRTHBAY PRETTY NISEY!
14:51

if anyone dare complain that they've bad mondays, come and bitch to my face.

how's this for my supposed mid term holiday breakie-
i've a political economy tutorial paper, 10% due this coming monday (which i'm yet to start, reasons shall be elaborated later)
then the next monday i've a main political economy essay which is 30 freaking%,
THEN another main human resource management essay a whooping 30% due monday Oct 10.
AND DEN ANOTHER GODDAMN 15% human resource tutorial essay to be handed in on monday right after that.

Monday back to back to back to back.

so DON"T complain.
17:52

oh ha some stupid jokes, that aren't funny funny but i find amusing nevertheless..

starting with yo mamma jokes..

yo mamma sooo fat thaaaaat.
-when she passed the tv you missed a whole season of friends
-when she she told me her weight, i thought it was her telephone number
-when I swerved to miss her on the freeway and i ran out of gas.

and a particular favourite of mine
yo mamma sooo ugly that when she went to MacDonald's she made a happy meal cry! HAHAHAHAH!

this is something along the lines of nisey's entry about the slug:
what did the snail said when it got on the turtle's back?

"Wheeeeeeeee!"

A random presidential joke.
Three presidents--Carter, Clinton, and Bush--were on a plane.
Carter opens the hatch and throws out a hundred dollar bill, and says "I just saved a family."
Bush opens the hatch and throws out two hundred dollar bills and says "I just saved two families."
Clinton opens the hatch, and throws out President Bush, and says "I just saved the world."
10:09

it's quite ridiculous that there are an absurd number of birthday in sept. so here's my take on it. think new year and christmas approximately 9 months back, ahh yes you know where i'm going with this.
well let's just say people are all happy (that's an understatement) during the festive season, add bubbly champers, extravagant presents, good food, parties flowing with booze, teamed with the holiday cheer. and *POOF*
pitter patter of little feet nine months later, well not really cause it'll more be like thuds and plaaaats cause it's not possible for the newborns to be well walking about or do anything remotely close to walking.

oh a tip once the hangovers have all disappated, HOT HOUSE YOUR KIDS! no it's not some evil form of torture you subject your kids to, hmm then again the conventions of torture is every changing. it's better than a skinner box i suppose.

i want to hot house my kid, apparently only my psych tutor kristan (it's a he, yes he killed his parents after telling them off for giving him a girls name) and i are the only ones out of 21 people who would like to hot house our kids. of course it won't be extreme, just want to make my kids smart, not freaks. they're already not getting any help from my half of the genes.

random fact - they girl who plays veruca salt in charlie and the chocolate factory (i think she's so amazingly pretty in the classic alabastar/porceline cold beautiful ice queen of sorts) is taller than me (well only by a cm, but STILL!) and she's only 12.
i weep for myself.
21:47

hmmm wonder how rockstar inxs would turn out. i'm figuring it's JD who would be chosen.

miG had his fate sealed when he decided to choose bohemian rhapsody - granted he'll be awesome performing it, but it could back fire against him sounding too practiced besides he came to audition to be the lead for a rock band, not audition for the lead role in we will rock you like suzie said.

he's digging his own grave, i mean come on, inxs have been constantly voicing their concern that he's more of a theathre stage material rather than rock star, and that he was always on the safe side, didn't dare venture out of his comfort zone. tho it's is indeed an amazing feat that he remained out of the bottom 3 for 10 times in a row, i thought it was probably a main deciding factor against him since it didn't give him a chance to perform an inxs song till the final elimation round before the grand finale, so he might not be right for inxs since after all they want someone 'right for inxs'.

that's the thing that really made me think that he was going to be eliminated when it was down to him and dear sweet suzie, cause inxs really loves her, they saved the self proclaimed 'reigning queen of bottom three' from going home SIX times!
then again if you were to take into account that during most of her elimination rounds they were surprise time after time that with such a powerful performance the night before, she ended up in the bottom 3 against to their utmost horror, but as they said it's the fans that ultimately buy the tickets and the albums - it's all about the fans. but the fact that miG was on a running streak probably was what saved him in his words 'must be that the fans think that i'm the man for the job'. i sus that the whole of the aussie continent voted for well, well cause he's aussie, and philippines too cause he's of philipino descent, AND uk cause he's now based there with his wifey.

seriously he and marty are such great fun really nice fanstatic guys along with ty, but JD? he's a jerk but says the most poignant things that really makes him not easy to hate.

when marty choose pretty vegas to prevent jd from performing his popular show stopper of a hit, he commented 'i'm here to progress, not regress'. wise words indeed. marty on the other hand decided to choose the pink floyd hit he had previously done early in the competition. bad choice my man.

never liked marty, don't get me wrong i think he's fabulous as a person it's just that i don't like him on stage. like i told ed after hearing his painfully guttural rendition of mr brightside, it didn't do brandon flowers any justice, i found it unbelievably granting on my poor ears, he didn't show any restraint in his vocal poweress (as if he has any to begin with) something he really needs to control, it sounds like he's busting his vocal chords, maybe it's just me but it seems he doesn't seem to focusing on singing per se, he's more screamingscreamingscreamingscreaming then followed but more shoutingscreamingshouting almost to the point of screeching. suzie has the unanimous vote from everyone that she has the best voice, and i couldn't agree more. then again i might be bias cause i really think she's well so lovable and sweet, with a voice with such a rich smooth whole timbre.

anyhoo kudos to JD for daring to tread on unknown waters, besides he chose the stones you can't always get what you want. now you can't go wrong with something from the stones!
woot! more brownie points for his quirk of wanting to request that to be played at his funeral. now he's gained my total respect. any guy even when dead who wants to go out with a bang, has got my vote.

i'm starting to warm up to him, he's talented, pretty vegas really does showcase his talent in many aspects - songwriting, arrangements, ability to perform improtu and still kick ass, the seamless transition from an electrifying performance (for the lack of a better word) to acoustic, his got the showmanship and ability to whip the crowd into a frenzy, that mick jagger would be proud of, clever use of props to really make his performances memorable - the bullhorn and throwing of money, you really do need commanding stage presence.

besides he's got the rugged i-so-kick-ass-and-look-amazing-while-doing-it look. now THAT tops off a rocker.

with such great things going for him, you would even be willing to overlook him butchering we are the champions and being such an major ass.

even if he doesn't win, (which i doubt cause i'm supporting you man!) and pursues a solo career, he'll really achieve a lot, he's a fantastic songwriter with all the contacts and opportunity the show has given him.

either way he'll live the rockstar dream. GO YOU!!

prettier than pretty

23:52

oooer watched JAG last night and man oh man OH MAN! don't you just ADORE guys in uniforms esp the all white ones of the naval pilots or the navy blue with gold trimmings on the cuff. Sizzling isn't it! it's so unbelievably hot, then lee walked passed and said so Sandra I guess you're enjoying yourself now aren't yah! she hit the nail on that one..
fellas, one of the very few benefits you can squeeze out of from your miserable years at national service is the uniform. Seriously, how many times have you heard a girl gush about how hot a guy is in uniform or how they love a guy in uniform (school uniform DOESN"T count, well not really anyway). So you might as well make the best of NS and join hmmm the navy or pilots, even the pilot coveralls are so uhh rugged? The green camouflage of the normal army guys are so boring and shapeless, ewww besides they don't let you keep your hair. the indignity of it allllll..
so yep after you're out of ns, i'm giving guys the benefit of the doubt that you'll be all tan and buff, so all the more the unifrom would look good on you..

you can blame JAG for that..

and wouldn't it just be so dreamy to have your guy wearing his navy/pilot dress uniform to your own wedding, it's a change from all the dreary black tux AND you also get to walk under uhhh a whole little bridgy thingy formed by the rows of naval/pilot people holding up their swords on either side of you, as you leave the church. now how cool would THAT be, huh! HUH!

oh yes sireeeee, the criteria for my dream guy just went flying up several notches. one can hope to dream right..
00:28

oh oh disabled the dammed obscenity filter on the tag board, was wondering why everyone was self censoring their own tags thus rendering them unreadable. Ha I'm not very bright now am I? Oh well what to doodydo!
so knock yourself out people, tag away!

OH I LOVE ALL YOU AEP GIRLS!! YAY!

hey could you sweeties do me a fave, if you all have any pics of the good ole days in AEP from sec 1 to 4 (no matter how spastic/retarded or idiotic) be a dearie and send 'em to squiggly.spooch@gmail.com. THANKIE!!
16:22

i wanna cry.

can't believe Marty SMASHED! WHALED! TRASHED! BROKE! BANGED! SHATTERED! WRECKED! KILLED!
BRAND NEW GIBSON SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION ELECTRIC BLUE ACOUSTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i HATE him!!!!!!!!! *grrrr*

hope he DOESN"T become the lead singer of INXS,
think of all the poor defenceless guitars that cost THOUSANDS and thousands of freaking dollars!!
14:55

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE.. THE EARTH SAYS HELLOOOO!!

bum bum bum bum bum..

willy wonka! willy wonka! the amazing chocolatier
willy wonka! willy wonka! everybody give a cheer
he's modest, clever oh so smart
he can barely restrain it
with so much generosity
there's no way to contain it, to contain it
to contaaaaain it(puppets mellllllllting)
to contaaiiiiiin
tralalalala
willy wonka! willy wonka!
he's the one you're about to meet
willy wonka! willy wonka!
he's a genius you just can't beat
the magician and chocolate whiz
the best darn guy that ever lived

willlllllllly wonka
HEREEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEE IIISSSSSSSSSSSS!!

wheeeeeeeeeee!! clapps very happily! watching all the puppets with their faces melting off and eyes popping out

ha ha ha! wasn't that just magnificient?? i thought it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but THAT finale? WOW!

who ARE you?

oh my name is willy wonka

then should YOU be up THERE?

well i couldn't very well watch the show from up there now could i, little girl?

then fumbles through his speech which alot of people agree sounds like something that IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII would write. hmmm TIM BURTON!! YOUHOO!! OVER HERE!! OVER HEEEEEERE!! TIM BURTON!!
ask me to do a screenplay with you!! it'll be demented totally random with lots of irrelevant connotations - plain silly good old fashion FUN! pllleeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeee!

la! i'm going to have dinner with the dancing daffodils! excuse me!

believe it or not, that's all from watching charlie and the chocolate factory ONCE! if only my memory could be put to more constructive things..

f.s (hahaha it's meant to be post script but at the zenith of his fame and glory fans of sinatra replaced postscript with frank sinatra's initials, clever isn't it!)
lmy disclaimer - ike i said i've only watched charlie ONCE, so the lyrics are only PRETTY accurate, so don't come after me if they're slightly wrong.

tralalala willy wonka willy wonka hmmmm hummmm hummm..
21:07

everything in this room is eatable. even I"M eatable. but that is called cannabalism my dear children and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
19:55

oh oh! whilst i was sorting through my countless notes and loose sheets on noble death and Roman ideals on suicide or voluntary death, then there it was the print out of plato's phaedo then i thought of Jacques Louis David(pronounced as DA-vee) Death of Socrates 1787 Oil on canvas uhhh if i recall correctly it's about 50 by 80.

Man can you believe that i still can remember these details from art history lessons over 5 years ago? well i kinda cheated, my art history knowledge isn't ALL THAT impressive, i did this painting for my AEP exam in sec 1 so i would roughly know the details.
anyway with that particular painting providing a memory stimulus, i've decided to finally accomplish what i started the begining of last year

- call toot and thank him for my AEP a1.

so i rang up his handphone, yet another astounding piece of my memory - i remembered toot's mobe number and that after more than 2 years!!

sadly the number was out of service, my memory which has failed me many a crucial time but i was pretty sure it was the correct number so had to check my phone and it WAS indeed the correct number, so........

i resorted to calling...

his house.

HA! surprise surprise! it WAS the right number, i wouldn't put it past toot to have passed a phony house number to the psychotic sec 3 aep girl, if i were him i would seriously have done that.. then who could resist the quirky charm of such a darling lil girl? haha

so it was his mom who picked up the phone, then passed me to his sister since he wasn't home.. darn!
anyhoo, she answered so after a rather long pause

i went uhhhhhhhhhh (oh how eloquent of me!) umm right i don't know what to say well HI! (a bit too enthusiatic come to think of it)

i'm sandra, i previously was a student of mr tan's (haha i refered to her brother as mr tan!)

well it seems when i called his handphone number, that particular number was out of service so i was hoping you could tell me his current one cause i'm assuming he had it changed (am i normally THAT wordy? man!)

then she replied after my whole verbal barrage which was said in one breath *phew!* why don't you leave your number instead and he'll call you back.

well the thing is i'm overseas right now...

before i could continue she hollered to her mom (oh man i still can't get over the fact that i spoke to his mom, TOOT"S MOM!! ok i'm freakin' sad you don't have to remind me) asking for his handphone number..

so reviewing my rather awkward uhhhh conversation with his family, i called him
then when he picked up, OH MAN HE HASN"T CHANGED ONE BIT!
i was like
HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MR TAN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT??
OMG!
GUESS WHO!!!

think along the usually intimidatingly hyper enthusiastic way that i do and while you're at it, throw in a very berserk energetic wave.

OMG OMG HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!! OMG HOW COOL IS THAT! YOU! MARRIED! OH MAN!! THAT IS LIKE SO WWWOOOOOOOOWWWWW !!!!
(i can be so eloquent at times)

note that i didn't even introduce myself, so you can understand on the other side there's this unfortunate man with a rather strange fearful look paniciing and expression saying nothing but OMG THERE"S SOME LOONY ON THE LINE!!

so i was rambling on at the breakneck speed i usually do when excited, and he went GOODNESS! SANDRA????? OH YAY!! how ARE YOU!! long time NO HEAR! hahahahahaha oh i was too busy to talk to you the other time right?? riiiiiiiight? i was like busy and like somewhere else and like couldn't talk to you that time when you called me with your results!! (yes he like DOES have the vocab of paris hilton at times, but that's what's so amusing about him!)


OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG!
you wouldn't BELIEVE IT!! guess where he was when i called him!
GUESS!!
GUESS!!
YOU"LL NEVER BE ABLE TO!!
IT"S LIKE THE ULTIMATE IN DIVINE IRONY!!
GUESS!!
HA!! knew you couldn't!

HE WAS AT GOATEE"S WEDDING!! I MEAN WTF!!
LIKE MAJOR WTF!!!!!!!
HOW COOL IS THAT, the only time i can get through to one Tan about his wedding HE'S AT ANOTHER TAN'S WEDDING!!
LIKE HOW FREAKING COINCIDENTAL IS THAAAAAAAAAAT!
LIKE TOTALLY RIGHT!!!!
crap i'm like back to bimbo mode.
not good. not good.
so i spent about a good 5 mins bitching about goatee and the very fact that he's actually getting married warped twisted miracles DO HAPPEN!!

OMG! OMG! okay you know what, don't expect any ostentatious vocab from me in this entry, i've revereted back to the good ole AEP days with 16 year old me clad in IJ shorts and sacrificial oil paint/slit/acrylic/turp/plaster/saw dust/potpourri/ink top, feet grey from running barefoot all around school, the grass oval and the studio, hair tousled haphazardly tossed into an even messier ponytail, brandishing fried chicken in one hand and the other armed with a paintbrush doing everything BUT my work, like blasting music and bouncing/dancing round the studio, spreading mad happy luuuuuuuuuurve and fun throughout the studio.. oh man

the good days..

come to think of it, i'm still the same hyperactive consuming-fried-chicken-by-the-bucket girl procrastinator who blasts the strangest music and go into a mad energetic boucing all over the walls frenzy (refer to the previous entry tralalalalalala I CAAAAAAAN"T GET NOOOOOOO SATISFACTION!!)

ANYWAAAAAAAAAAY

back to the entry, i realise that my entries are in actual fact seriously difficult to read since i have single sentences that run for over 6 lines, no wonder lily said that reading my ancient history essay was reading a transcript of me just rambling and rambling and rambling

it also DOESN"T help that i've terribly short attention spans, so i can switch from one subject to another just like THAT! so it's hard to keep up with my train of thought, it's an amazingly jerky motion sickness inducing ride.

hmmm so we caught up on old times, but not before i was done screaming at him for not inviting me to his WEDDING!
I KNOW RIGHT!! WEDDDDDDDDING!!!
and he was wondering HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY WEDDING!! oh your 'network' ah, already using it, nnnnnnnot baaaad you ah. then i lamented that he SHOULD postpone HIS WEDDING just so i can attend it!
hahahahaha it MAKES SENSE OK!!

then.. we talked bout hmmm

his wifey to be!
he doesn't want to tell me her name, says when i'm back i can visit his OWN house, only if i promise i won't trash it like the studio, and he'll let his wife introduce herself, i bet you he forgot her name and conveniently used that as an excuse..

then about his work

and all the AEP girls, sigh I MISS AEP, it WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE EVEN BETTER THAN COLLEGE LIFE RIGHT NOW TIMES A GAZILLION!

after that i forced him to dish out all the details on how he met his dearie
then the topic meandered to lily and joanna, hhahahaha the way he described them, man i almost burst a kidney laughing and he was blah blah blah they've really blossomed to which i just mentioned without thinking born to blossom, bloom to perish oh great now i'm quoting the wise words of a gwen stefani hit

then suddenly he asked about edgar, i was like how the hell do you still remember him?? he was in sec 3!!
his reply made me want to bang my head repeatedly on the table or maybe just kill myself from holding my breath EDGAR! EDGAR! CHIA CHIA CHIA!! (it's 'pronounced' as EDgar EDgar CHA CHA CHA! with spastic hand actions too) OF ALL THINGS TO REMEMBER!!
GOODNESS!

of course he has NO IDEA on how he looks like apparently all VS boys look the same, YEAH and while you're at it, i really bet all boys from the people's republic of cheeeeeeeeeeeena high really differentiate themselves from each other *rolls eyes*

so he was talking random rubbish, (like always, sigh isn't it great! some things never change!)

and that's about it i guess

OH
MY
GOD

i'm still reeling from the disbelief

22:16

When I was getting out of the shower with crazy dripping hair clad in a pretty peach towel there was a random bunch of people sprawled all over the floorof the room directly facing the bathroom door suddenyl applauded me exiting the bath..
I thought that everyone was either at the basketball showdown or the engineering revue or trill's production - apparently not, after all college students spend their thurs drinking celebrating the arrival of fri so that they can drink even more. thus explaining my very unexpected audience.
so was happily singing in the shower thankfully my singing wasn't all that bad (according to 'em but they had quite alot to drink from the look of all the empty bottles scattered on the floor) -

anyhoo my songlist included:

REM's losing my religion (which I did the original version and a suzie arrangement, like the song it doesn't really require much vocal range)

Rolling Stones I can't get no satisfaction

Haiks reasons answered (it's this guy who bears an amazing resemblance to Desmond from electrico)

electrico studman (the acoustic version)
the killers glamarous indie rock 'n roll..

Mandy Moore feat. Jonathan Foreman someday we'll know

Rod Stewart have i told you lately

farrago of frank sinatra's witchcraft, come fly with me, the way you look tonight

yes I DID sing ALL those tonight, well usually I can do about 4 songs, 5 the most but since I decided to compensate my hair for all the abuse I subject it to, i had lots of time whilst I indulged in a deep conditioning treatment while hmm whileing away the time soaking in the deliciously warm water was going mad liberally slatering on body lotion made from gorgeous apple blossoms MMMMmmm!

anyway some guy from my 'audience' (never seen him before) looked extremely bemused by my shower entertainment commented that the intercol singing competition was over and I've a fair chance of doing pretty well next year..

hmm maybe I'll try out,
and come to think of it..

why wasn't I embarrassed being in a towel ??!!??
23:03

man after my very restful 12 and a half hour sleep last night, i just wanted to lazy all day long in my bed (which i did) so there i was spening more than an hour getting very frustrated at my CD player, it only seems to be able to play the song for the first 1.04 mins of the song before it starts blinking like a freaking strobe light 'error! no disc! reading no disc!' so finally i gave up and flipped to the radio instead.
behold!
my first time this year listening to the radio, i really can't stand all the mindless jibber jabbering in between songs, would they shut up already and just play music.
so there i was snuggled under my thick luxurious sheets surrounded by several large pillows 11 in the morning with the blinds partically drawn down and the pretty flower stalks embrioder day curtains diffusing the bright almost midday sun, singing along to the acapellas the radio was churning out..

I ADORE acapellas, pity they never have enough of those sort of concerts in singapore or here for that matter, it's so.. sigh.. ah.. feeling of serene bliss.. ok back to my day

lazing in bed, singing along to whatever was playing on the radio, munching on a snickers bar followed by a simmering cup of my special blend french earl grey brewed with assam dikom.. yummers. the wonderfully earthly floral delicate scent filled the whole room.
just lovely isn't it..

ocassionally switching channels and suddenly....

dum dum dum dum dum I CAN"T GET NO SATISFACTION bum bum bum!
i sprung out of bed and starting boucing all over the walls doing very strange but fun spontaneous dance teamed with lots of shimming, high kicks, mick jagger esqe pouts, hair flipping, energetic leaps and jumps, and tumbling in bed, plain silly fun.

what a sight i would have been, my all time favourite flattering love child of spag and wife beater top completed with pink PJ pants with happy unicorns and little rainbow prints teamed and quite literally out of bed hair boucing all over the walls singing along to i can't get no satisfaction with much gusto.

before i could even catch my breath, the all too familiar electro funk intro of unconditional started blasting so i continued the maddness, of course after picking up the very rock star esqe oversized shades off my vanity. so the mad unrestrained bouncing was turned down a notch and replaced with lots of hair tossing and grooving taken straight out of the unconditional video..

man it was fun!

great way to destress after those ouchers of essays..
unfortunately i've still 6 more essays to go - 2 more political economy, 1 psych experimental report, 1 psych essay, 2 human relations..

OH WOE IS ME!

then again more excuse to go mad!!

tralalalala i can't get no satisfaction lalalalala
16:32

Sometimes I let my anger get the better of me, something that was so trivial I let my ill temper escalate it into something of grossly epic proportions. So here I am propped up against the window ledge overlooking the darkened oval typing this entry, the window frame barely separating myself from the biting cold of winter outside.

why do I endure all this? Is it really enduring, in all probability I am indeed taking it a bit too far, totally out of context. Is there something that's eliciting pain on me that I have to endure it? Without a doubt it's a joy to be with ed, but sometimes it really rubs raw my nerves. It may come as a surprise but I've actually lowered my standards of what is to be expected and conversely become more accommodating, but at times it seems a Herculean task not to make a fuss over it. Time and time again, it really can wear down your intentions wheter you like it or not.
I'm not depicting myself as a martyr of sorts but sometimes I just feel like that. i full well accept the hastiness and hysteria of my actions, sometimes you reach that breaking point where you snap and all that you've tried so hard to supress and delude yourself, just attack in torrents.
what is the matter with me. i say things i always regret, i do things i always regret.
what's the point of it all.

nothing but a tearful sorry.

oh sigh, john's oval in the dead of night. Hmmm interesting choice of word isn't it. Dead. Sigh now it dredges up the events of the past week.
There was a john's fresher Patrick who had everything going for him, great university education, endless opportunities, an adoring girlfriend who he met at college, a college which instilled some semblance of belonging into him, whole intercollegiate community and a family that adored him. And in that fateful night at manning, he passed away from a heart attack.

those the gods love die young

he was only 19, a year older than me, so very young, a fact which lily reminded me shortly after his passing when she cooed in an almost protective way '18? Oh my god, you're barely a baby'. nothing is for certain, i could be here today and gone tomorrow, oh sigh cliches nothing says it better than cliches.

there was 2 masses in the space of 5 days held in memory of this gentle soul who was taken up before his time. Tragic, yes. Undeniably everyone was affected by this shocking and unexpected loss. Which only makes me reflect right now, whilst I'm still seething in anger after talking to him, what would happen if it were me. God forbid.

but what if

would I be missed as much as anyone else. What would I be remembered for? Surely not my fortitude, my wit, intellect, disposition, philosophy in life, virtuous life, ideals or deeds.

then what?

I'll be the blip in people's memory and destined to fade over time. would people lament over my sudden depature, would those go on in life regretting not telling me how they felt, would those who have not expressed their intentions for me live to regret it, would those who have wronged me find it in themselves to gain acceptence in forgiving themselves.

perhaps i award myself too much credit.

death, the omnipresent yet elusive entity that hang over us. i mentioned not about myself, i know i would take many things to the grave but yet death is somehow liberating for it is the living that have to deal with the loose ends of someone's death, not the dead themselves.

For Lucan, death is sweet and fitting, but
"only those whose onrushing fate is already upon them are granted this revelation: those who will go on living - the gods keep them in the dark, that they may endure to live on: death is a blessing!
(Pharsalia 4.517-20)

Ah, How did death become the measure of life for the virtuous citizen, a poignant essay question I'm attempting right now. Indeed.

how would death become the measure of life for me.

somehow I would measure up to nothing. I wouldn't leave in such ignoble yet glorious downfall of Pompey, neither die knowing that I meant anything to anyone.

my exit wouldn't mark a good person's life,

I've nothing, no one to die for.

01:03

too bad mugger, I CHOUP HARRISON FIRST!!
TOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAD!
and livy alexis too, so those who want those for their kids names..
GET YOUR OWN NAMES.
i'm copyrighting those
22:52

this week i can't seem to avoid the topic of babies!

-next week's episode of grey's antonmy, christina finds herself to be on the 'mummy track'

-mark told me he bumped into an old friend at uni who was in her 2nd trimester and she's only 20! thankfully she's married otherwise, sigh, it breaks my heart to think of the choices single women have to make when they discover an unplanned pregnancy

-it is said that roman civil war that tore the former glorious rome apart could possibly have been prevented if julia, caesar's daughter- wife of pompey the great had not miscarried the only child of combined powerful bloodlines.
interesting story behind that,
there was a bloodbath at the senate house where pompey was, resulting in his robes being heavily soaked in blood, so he changed out of his regalia and handed to a footsoldier to pass it to pompey's servant to bring it back home to wash.
meanwhile, julia heard the commotion coming from the senate house but was unable to leave the house and found out what it was about due to her pregant state, and upon seeing the bloodied clothes of her husband, she hastily made the wrong assumption that he had died.
overwhelmed with intense grief for her supposedly deceased husband, she fainted and miscarried the only heir of caesar and pompey's blood alligence.

many have said that if the baby had survived, his birth would have prevented the most distructive of roman civil wars as caesar and pompey would not constantly be at each others throats.

- then today i meet such a delightfully bright toddler at the bakery, i waved and smiled at him and was returned with a toothless gummy grin and beautiful gurgle accompanied with an enthusiatic waving of his bunny soft toy, so there i was for several minuted in the queue playing peek a boo and making silly faces to the child, ahhh yes, it warms my heart, oh man i love children don't you?

and so you know the background inspiration of today's entry.

what would I do for my kids in the future

• buy them rocking horses, or moose for that matter! Ed must have thought I was off my rocker (harhar, get it??!) when I was happily playing with the moose he probably would have disowned me if I had tried getting on the rocking moose at IKEA, i would have if i wasn't wearing a skirt. luckily for him.

• cover the walls of my house, or at least play rooms and areas my kiddies would be at, with lots of paper, so they can draw on the 'walls' don't want to hamper their budding artistic talents, I'll even join in! I'll hang up lots of prints of Quentin Blake illustrations, and mostly impressionistic works. hopefully when i'm older, i'll have some time to copy master works, esp van Gogh! for my son's second name it'll be vincent, after my grand dad and the artist who inspired art for me.
  
  
• of course, no artist would be complete without finer literary appreciation of.. yes, ROALD DAHL! I adore that man, since.. Well since I could read which was around 5. His books embody the best and most interestingly intriguing imagination and artistic creativity, something I would really have to share the joys with my children.
  
  
• let them watch ZIIIIIIIIIM! That however I would leave to when they're of a more discerning and not to impressionable time of their development.
  
  
• use psych conditioning techniques on them! screw the moral ethics of that, at least I can study the actions of my children first hand and OF COURSE! I WON"T PUT THEM IN A SKINNER BOX! I may be mad. put not psycho despite what many of you think.
  
  
• buy them LOTS of pets! like cute dwarf bunnies, 2 puppies - a shetland shepard and a daschund, pretty miniature kittens. Of course for that, their father under NO circumstances would have the faintest dislike/disdain of animals neither must he be asmathic. It's bad enough their mom's gonna be plagued with healthy problems don't need their dad to be contributing more crappy genes than they're already getting from my half.
  
  
• hmmm this ties in with the above one, plenty of soft toys, and delightfully cute lunch boxes, if I have a daughter I'll try finding for a similar one to the baby pink and white checkered lunch box I used to have (in fact my sis and I still use it, it must be at least hmm 11 years old!) conversely for a boy, it'll be a baby blue one! Or nice demure vivid shade of green.
  
• tea parties! i ADORE tea parties, so my kids yes the boys included, we'll play lots of tea parties, where they'll learn the fine art of tea appreciation- lots to TEAch them. and also dress ups! oooohhhh fun fun *claps hands in excitement*
  NOTE: it seems that the things i'm subjecting my future kids too is very girly, so rest assured the boys would spend time with their father doing more masculine things as well (nothing excessilvey violent though) but in no way would i let my daughters feel left out though.
  
• lots of matching outfits! I'll buy them random costumes, and when they're 4 or 5, they'll be mixing and matching their own wardrobe - electric!
  
  
• not to mention loads of embarrassing childhood photos. Maybe videos would be really outdated by the time the arrival of pitter patter of little feet, but I want to film the family so they can look back and reminisce about the old times and grimace and cringe at their actions. Great fun!
  
  strange strange thing
• I'll let them eat veggies! at least spinach they'e got to at least like that, since that's one of the few veggies the veggie hating sandra would actually eat
  
  
• ABSOLUTELY NO SOFT DRINKS! I forbid that crap, hmm instead it'll be fruit/floral tisanes iced, it's healthy and you get all the lovely goodness of nature not excessive tantaric acid that's gonna corrode their oesphogous, stomach and whatever other linings of the digestive tract, otherwise how they gonna appreciate all the rice food I give them? haha.. horrid aren't I.
  
  
• hand them loads of my cds, records, whatever music to them, so they can see what they might like from there.
  
  Freud would have a field day when he sees how I raise my children, if he was alive to see that, he'll just die on the spot. YAY! good ridance to that sick degenrate bugger who the world and psychology would be very well off without.

16:31

I'm beyond busy all the assignments come flying at you at full speed before you know what's going on WHAM! 4 major assignments in your face, you know I basically hate political economy the most esp when it's involving a particular buddy of bush..
URGH

great I'm resorting to using my blog as a mass way of apologizing to people for not replying to their emails, squeezing in some time I've checked my inbox and it's crammed so much so that apparently for some weeks now I haven't been receiving ALL my mail, even so the 20 plus emails I have yet to read and reply to is intimidating in itself, sorry pretty! I'll get around to mailing you on what's been going down, besides the amount in my bank account and at a very rapid rate I must say. No brainers for guessing that it's the shopping sprees which are responsible for that.

anyhoo, too busy to reply to you guys and stuff it's this DAMNED essay that keeps me from going online and chatting cause you know self controless me..
I mean who wants to write a damn tutorial paper on.. The thing even more stupid that the paper itself it's is format. It's in 3 freaking parts!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
I sure as hell can't

1. which sectors and which industries of the Australian economy are most reliant on government assistance
(NOTE: to answer this question combine the data from the productivity commission on assistance [which is budgetary assistance and tax concessions] along with other data that show sector and industry sizes (in terms of output and employment)
what are the characteristics of these sectors and industries that deem them most likely to receive the most support? (approx 100 words)

2. does business welfare contravene the basic principles of free trade? Explain your answer:

if no then explain how the two are to be reconciled

if yes explain where policy inconsistencies might arise

(approx 300 words)

3. use your answer from part 2 to evaluate the 2004 assistance package offered to sugar producers in the aftermath of the Australia US FTA negotiations (approx 300 words)

as you can tell that's why I'm dead, as if the pages upon pages of readings and notes isn't punishment in itself. man I need an essay to fall from the sky this weekend, seriously I don't care if it's a good or borderline essay, all I want is something fairly substantial to hand to the tutor on Monday..

ARGH

I'm freaking in a lousy mood right now, not even the though of being united with a nice pair of unique leather boots in my size would make it the slightest bit better..

oh essay oh essay
where art thou essay?

00:55

hear that? that's the sound of quite easily more than a thousand prepuberscent girls wiping away their tears, saddening ain't it - brandon flowers (yes! that IS his real name!) the rather swoon worthy even with a hint of eyeliner front man of the killers got hitched to his long term sweetie on aug 2 in some small intimate wedding in hawaii.. what you expected them to do it in vegas? come on growing up in sin city would have thought you a thing or two about the eventual state of vegas based matrimony
oh well he still hasn't lost his appeal, hmm leech said that mr brightside was..uh about a prostitute? dubious, i'll ask her this weekend when we go on another shopping spree, which this time would be a more sensible measured money spending time as opposed to last week.
01:42

my tres cool CD player is up and running after i had spent so freaking much on a voltage transformer since labelled all across the top flap of the philips box in huge bold print (that only a blind person would miss) was:

WARNING blah blah blah voltage does not apply to players in aussie, nz and blah blah blah, along those lines..

so then the philips customer care was closed by the time i realised the stupid above warning, then my mother was screaming at me, going on and on and on and on AND ON.. about me being so irresponsible for not checking it sooner blah blah blah, my brother is more responsible than me, the usual.
so called up best denki on the pretense that i had purchased the player from there and asked if the player could function down under, explaining to the salesperson that apparently the voltage in singapore and aussie were different, he then mentioned a realy simple solution - just get a voltage adapter..

then after the ordination service held in church, mom dad and derek stayed for the dinner with the archbishop fortunately for ness and i, our parents didn't get us tickets for the dinner so we didn't have to waste a perfectly good evening at some boring sit down dinner with predominantly an old fogey crowd (man i can't believe i just said that)
anyhoo so i was bugging ness with constant reminders to stop by sim lim on our way back home so i could get the damned troublesome adapter, and it suddenly struck ness that there was a hardware shop at farrer market so saving us the trip to sim lim, we got the adapter from there after much doubts as to what the hell i was getting exactly -
i had no idea what the voltage difference was and if i should get a step up or step down transformer (that's the only part in physics i would without an inkling of doubt would fail, much to mr yap's puzzlement, is that even a real word? oh well you get the idea)

i'll just fast forward over the part where i spent DAYS trying to open the damn adaptor with a screwdriver meant for glasses and when i finally did open it with the proper screwdriver borrowed from john the handyman of the college, i realised there wasn't a switch. frustrated that the stupid adapter said 'switch inside' i started picking at it viciously to which the little cover popped open.
behold
THE DAMNED SWITCH!!
i could have killed myself
throttled myself to death if it were possible

so was figuring out what the HECK you're supposed to set it to. then went online to find out the voltage specification of singapore and aussie, after more than half an hour shifting through useless sites
i kept getting pages on AC/DC after typing in voltage australia, doesn't help that it keeps refering me to anything that was remotely related to AC, as in the current, and that ACDC was an australian based band AND to complicate matters further, they had an album entitled voltage, you see my situation right

for your future reference
singapore's 230
aussie 240

FREAK! there was hardly any difference between voltages, once again i was overwhelmed with the urge to kill myself for that. i could happily plugged it in and it would be fine!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

called philips customer care to be on the safe side, wouldn't want to make a $150 mistake should my assumption be wrong, and guess what?
no brainers!
it was certified as FINE TO JUST PLUG IT IN LIKE THAT!!

BLOOOOOOOOOOODY HELL!

and now i'm very disatisfied with the player, it's uber sensitive, comin upon a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny scatch on the CD, the damned thing would deem it unplayable ie NO FREAKING DISC! ERROR! ERROR!

so now i'mfuming cause of that! all the effort and what did i get in return!

wasted hours and PLENTY OF FRUSTRATION and i'm highly irritated now..

GRRRR

01:23

i'm quite upset that i won't be able to catch RockStar INXS whilst i'm here damn! been following that show religiously..
well vote for Suzie! she's my fave, i don't know she's so cute, good natured and she's a really sweet thing..
http://spaces.msn.com/members/RockstarSuzie/
yep that's her msn blog space..

hmmm really adore the huge metallic disc earrings with amazing intricate engravings that she picked at the RockStar clinic. yay so vote for her k?
support MiG, Ty and.. basically that's it i guess, really was impressed by Daphna's performance of Joan Jett's Hate Myself For Loving You, was absolutely shocked when she was eliminated a couple weeks later, stupid world audience for not voting for awesome talent!! she's this hmmm feline grace and such stage presence, don't know why she was voted out! still reeling from the shock that stupid freaking JD's still in the competition..
really can't stand JD he's such a pretentious cocky condescending patronising person, he might do great musical arrangements but he's such a horrid attitude. apart from the comment that got the rest of the rockers worked up, ohhhhh unlike the other rockers who learn INXS songs because they have to, i know the song because i love the band.. something along those lines, wonder why they haven't put something in his food to screw up his voice, oh well, he singlehandly messed up's Queen's We Are The Champions (HA! karma DOES come back and bite you in the ass!) after bitching, whining, complaining the whole lot to Jordis as to why HE DESERVES to get the first Queen song of the competition instead of her,
i'm thankful that freddie mercury's already dead (rest his soul) otherwise he would have died hearing JD's slaughtering the song that he actually meant for it to be an anthem of sorts for the gay community..

well for RockStar INXS updates, just clicking on the side tab of MSN messenger it's the black and red circle with a white star in the centre, it's right below the normal contact list tab, you can't miss it.. conversly you can catch it on hmm star world channel 18 wed morning is the live broadcast on what's going down in the house and preparation for their weekly performance, and thursday morning is the performance ratings, and elimination round and snippets on what would be one next week. there's repeats on the respective nights, star world does about 3 reruns altogether for particular episode, go check your tv guide..

remember to vote!!
00:40

Man! I really wanna go for the bravery gig this Wed at the Metro Theatre, any idea how the one in Singapore went?
The tickets weren't as bad as i thought they would be, $41.80+Bf (what IS Bf? this being aussie and all, i'm guess it's proably booze!!) and it's held at a place i actually know how to get to! Let's see what's the line up for that night -

The Spark 8-8.30
Faker 9-9.45

the supporting opening bands seem decent enough,

woot! the bravery at 1015

i say they'll only come out closer to 11, it's always like that, i've never been to a gig where the bands performed on time or close to the stated performance time. stupid sound checks! Hmm poor me ain't got no credit card so i guess i'll have to make a trip there before Wed night, just to get a ticket.. darn. They're so strict about the cardholder being the only one who can collect the ticket.

I wouldn't be obsessing about it if I had not caught their performance live on MTV a few weeks back, they looked like they were KICKING ASS!! They got the audience into a wild rocking frenzy, such psychotic energy!
If someone hadn't described their music as electro synth and something along the lines of new wave 80 revival group reminisce of an edgier Duran Duran, (hmmm have critics and reviewers run out of bands to compare the up and coming groups?)
just recently on a MTV spot, the killers were hailed as our generation's answer to Duran Duran.

Starting to see a pattern? - it's either that I like these 2 bands simply cause they're supposedly derivatives of Duran Duran or.. hmmm that's funny I can't think of an alternative choice to that..
Sidetracking - hmm or could the reason why critics constantly draw parallels between the killers and Double D is cause both groups cite Bowie as a major inspiration to their music.. Quite possibly I suppose.

OORRR..

Duran Duran created the whole music genre of electro synth rock which later spawned the whole new wave 80's revival from there both the Bravey and Killers carved themselves out from the slightly edgy 'wannabe' pop/ mainstream pop/ rock-popular music that's been flooding the airwaves recently to this particular type of music that you can't quite put your finger on as to aforementioned category to would fit in.. And since the two groups placed emphasis on more synthetic sounds (which is characteristic of Duran Duran) people decided that they should be described at new wave, 80's reminisce, electro synth rock (blah blah blah whatever music genres and descriptions you would liberally use on Duran Duran)
ok my brain's burnt out rambling about really nothing if you think about it.. I'll make a horrid music reviewer cause I'll start thinking too much about obscure theories and concepts that have little relevance to the task at hand..

OH OH! guess what? guess whaaaaaaat!

For formal dinner tmr night, the editor of COSMOPOLITAN is our guest of honour, maybe I could send subliminal messages to her to put more photo sets of jolie and longoria *drool!
00:03

msn messenger has been rather erratic lately, so apologises for not being online as much these days!
18:15

*hic hic HIC*
curse you hiccups!
22:11

okaaaaaaaay, the whole point of me posting this blog was to say that since I'm sick and no condition to go out and have fun with the rest of the uni population whom are at the coolest party at Manning's SnowBall event.. Can hear the fireworks from my room man.. So saddening..

Guess it's consolation seeing all those scantily clad girls decked out in their clubbing/partying outfits going to the party and freezing their asses off whilst i'm in my new very adorable robin blue prep school sweater in a toasty warm room piled under a mountain, ok more like molehill of sheets, nice cuppa tea in hand..
Besides I'm saving money from the entrance fee and all the alcohol, yes yes alcohol's empty calories and something I really don't need at the moment..

Since I'm already doing a mindless post here are my goals for this semester!

1. Get a good role in the Missenden Players production
2. Try to weasel my way into the debate team although competitions have started already
3. Join the soccer team even if I can't play just for the exercise and accumalte points for my room selection process next year, i don't want to be living in a closet!
4. Lose another 4kg and tone up!
5. Get minimum Credit average for all my subjects but a Distinction for Pyschology, need to impress Michael Walker!!
6. Related to numbber 4, maximise gym membership.

i'll add more when they come to mind..

any suggestions people?

21:05

aw man did a bit of shopping today, wasn't very fufilling though think it must have been the fact that my mother ruined what would have been an extremely satisfying post-exam-I-haven't-gone-shopping-in-over-4-months-shopping-trip if she hadn't sent me an email stating that it's quite ridiculous to go all the way to Australia to buy something made in china when you can get it much cheaper in Singapore, that just makes no sense.. hrmph but the main perk of shopping in aussie is that you can get the coolest stuff that others won't have in Singapore and don't you derive satisfaction from the feeling of people ooooing and ahhhing all over your stuff, that makes me sound so superficial doesn't it, oh well instant self gratification.. Pathetic but it's me..
so met up for lunch with mark and his girlfriend who just flew up to spend the holidays with him and baby him for the last week of his exams, then ganged up with his gf and berated him for a while, good naturedly of course, she wasn't what quite I expected, no offence she doesn't seem very ang moh-fied like mark, which was quite a surprise but we have quite a bit in common I guess..
whilst I dropped by mark's place to meet up with them for lunch was waiting eagerly to get thirsty merc's someday someday, cause the only lines of the song which I knew (which pathetically was the extent of the song title - someday someday..lalala) and desperately wanted the song out of my system for good, then I was spreading the love of good music ie all my 80's music which I'm adamant would make this huge ass revival and soon the world shall be listening to new wave and electro synth rock and similar stuff within related genres, mark my words..

so there I was instructing (actually it was more like bossing) mark to download the David bowie songs I had on my usb and then out of nowhere his girlfriend and I started a David bowie swoon fest haha and there mark was rolling his eyes in the background, actually on my part it was more of a swoon fest over older guys which I really wouldn't mind going out with if they were 30 years younger.. yes yes I'm such a spg, but it's not my fault! i've said it once and I'll say it again I don't like all those baby faced guys out there seriously can't you all see the appeal of classic vintage guys? yummers! yeah yeah shoot me if it makes you happy..

urgh I'm too lazy to continue this post well basically end up at jay jays *laughs out loud* as if I would have it any other way, yes must return to the mothership of affordable clothes which if you didn't already knows, rips off the comparatively higher end mid range priced shops such as portsman, preview, sportsgirl, jeans west and kookai and viola! rip offs that I can buy without mourning over the ever increasing burning hole in my poor wallet, the downside of jay jays though is that it isn't usually as nice as it's contemporaries but at a considerably lower price I'm not complaining.. so yep bought myself 4 funky scribbled blotchy doodly skinny tops for myself and half a million shirts for reiner since he's been hounding me day and night after my exams were over, come to think about it, he's been pestering me to go shopping for 'insult' shirts for him ever since i've arrived in aussie.. oh well..
so got mark to try on the shirts for size, quite amusing getting him to wear it over 3 layers.. Should be a reasonable fit I guess, there were several shirts I was quite keen on getting however they didn't have those in XL either that they came in ghastly colours, got myself really cute prep school v necked sweaters which was killer cause after I decided to get the white one in purple and lavender lilac trim as well as the pastel blue with white and navy trim, I happen to find that the similar designs came as hoodies! Darn so there I was contemplating which ones I should be getting cause I was plagued with the choice of baby pastel pink, lilac with white and lavender trim, rich pale lime green which was absolutely darling and those who have been shopping with me would know that they've just stepped into shopping decision hell courtesy of my indecisiveness.. Initially I had this brilliant solution to just buy ALL if I couldn't decide between the colours and style, which in due time my mother wasn't so thrilled (to say the very least) about my retail solution solving, oh yes it saved lots of time, but it wasn't as kind monetary wise.. Well I'll post pictures of what I bought, though I'll be wearing them when I get back.. I've better get back to clearing and sorting through all my stuff and see what needs to be placed in the attic for storage while I'm back in the sunny tropics of Singapore!
woot! I can't believe I'm looking forward to the sweltering humidity which I miss not one bit..
see y'all in a couple of days..
sorry but i ain't telling when i'm getting back exactly cause i don't want you all to be the welcome committee cause it won't be a pretty sight, me who's piled on weight sporting a taiwanese boy band hair, a horrific sight you would be much better off not seeing..
toodles, urgh the task of packing up is simply.. overwhemling..
URGH
23:11

In light of the approaching Wednesday's slosh party all-you-can-drink-till-you-just-hurl-then-proceed-to-drink-even-more, knowing that I'll be getting so inebriated on Wednesday I decided in preparation of that to honour my intoxicated behaviour, ha!

Don't know whenever I'm wasted, chances are I'll be attacking Bohemian Rhapsody with gusto like I always do, don't know why THAT song of all songs.. hmmm..
Curious, how curious indeed..
Then again after one too many BOTTLES of bourbon it'll be quoting Shakespeare and horribly embarrassing confessions that I started reading his unabridged works by 9 and a half..

Ha without a doubt I'll be prancing about and screaming the lyrics, one hand cluctching an imaginary mike, doing a shimmy every few steps, think erratic rock star on dope and yep that's me for you, anyone who's ever tried singing this song in Queen fashion would know you need all the guts and maddness to pull this off, so what better way then getting relatively wasted and pretending you're part of Queen! but seriously you can have so much fun doing it, you should channel Justin Hawkins (he's the psycho frontman frontman of the Darkness, ha i like bands if they're mad and have a great time rocking not caring about what others think, hmmm i should adapt that way to live, if anyone disagree you can tell them 'Hey! You can stick that sign up your ass, the one that says it won't last, My sugarbuzz is growing higher and higher everyday, i'm gonna have the time of my life') haha..

Back to the Bohemian, the first bit you start off all sorrowful, voice slighty shaky quivering with vulnerable emotion with the facial expressions to boot before you burst into the most memorable part, all with the trademark pout, jumping, stumbling about screaming your lungs out with flailing arms crouched down trying to hit all the high notes, twirling about with true classic head banging rocker style and dotting the song with strange random high kicks and massive MAJOR AIR GUITAR with awesome power rifs and busting kick air moves just as playing a flaming guitar with my teeth while jumping about all over stage, everything CLASSIC hard rocking ROCK!..
and for sections that I can't remember the lyrics I'll be sticking the mike in the direction of the imaginary audience, trying to whip them into a mad sing a long frenzy hollering the usual prompts of 'I can't remember the words help me out I'm too drunk!! lalalalaaaaaaaaa I can't hear yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, hot damn! You all sure can f***king siiiiiiiiiiiiing, and yell out random things 'like don't think you think for a minute we're gonna pull this shit off!!'

Well i've got this marvlous theory, people my age gripe while reminising about their childhood say oh we can't do that crazy shit anymore, but HEY! think about it when you're pulling crazy shit off, you can now blame it on the alcohol! HUH! think about THAT! and even when you're NOT drunk, alcohol's your ever faithful conveient scapegoat! lalalala..
oh man, good stuff, good stuff indeedy, anyone got the mp3 for this song? Hot damn, haven't heard it in AGES, if you do SEND IT SEND IT to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
FREDDIE! WOOT!

Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Mama ooOOoOoOo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouettooooooo of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango!
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening
ME!
Galileo, Galileo, Galileo Galileo
Galileo Figaro-magnifico!
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go-, will you let me go
Bismillah! no-, we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me
Any way the wind blows
04:57

this is ooooold school

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion

I want to walk in the open wind
I want to do what other lovers do
Want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
So, Baby Talk to me like lovers do
Walk with me just me and you
Talk to me like lovers do

WHERE"S KATRINA??

I was the kind of kid back in school
Who wore a members only jacket, thought he was cool
That's when I met katrina, she was best friends with seshel
I thought she was the one, yeah I thought she was special
I saw her in the hall about quarter til three
I said I'll take you in my nova, to the tasty freeze
She said I know all about you, more than I should
I know all about the dirty mags you keep in the woods

So tell me how I'm supposed to be when I've been stalked by a lesbian
I can't sleep a wink, and I'm married to the ephedrine
How am I supposed to sleep when I've been stalked by a lesbian now

Now don't take it light, it might seem funny to you
Yesterday my science project, was covered in glue
So I asked that guy seshel, was it something I said
He said quit being so fuckin' paranoid, it's all in your head

The way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be,
The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see
Oh god she's walking this way, oh god what should I say,
I hope and pray that one day she'll be straight

02:25

tralalalalaaaaaaa
was pretty much bored and procrastinating having to hit the books, lost the momentum from the absolutely mentally exhaustive first 3 days of the exam period oh well, give it my all since it's the last and final paper! Gulp 60% paper, it's do or die and it's sigh oh sigh short essays I hate the word don't you? Essays ewww shudder shudder SUHHHHDDDEEEERRRR gulp it's 9 essays pain pain pain pain pain.. Then after that I"M GOING SHOPPING I don't care, know how difficult for me to walk past sportsgirl, preview, jay jays, jeans west, kookai, just jeans, portmans when they all have the same sign posted all over the shop SEASON SALE!! Up to 40% discount on irregular sizes such as 6-8 (YAY MY SIZE), 14 onwards.. Lots of sheer will power..
anyhoo yeah about me doing anything but study, was trying to find marvelous 3's live concerts mp3 and then I found the modeling ads they did at the zenith of their career..

abercrombie ad - not the first bunch of people that would automatically associate with the wholesome preppy image of a&f then again from the looks of the ad below they've def washed up, practically squeaky clean, no eyeliner whatsoever and tats all out of sight.. all non m3 fans would be none the wiser hmm doesn't butch (in the centre) look just SO CUTE (?) yeah quite possibly one of the last words people would use to describe him, but here he has that dishy you can't help but swoon look..

..don't you wanna be all that,
like a calvin klein model in a video..

23:04

Googly-eyed little fluffy balls of fur that giggle, squeak, and sneeze as you push them across the board! That's Chuzzle for you! You're supposed to group them in lots of 3 or more then they go.. POP! and little bits of cloured fur goes flying all over the screen hehehehe...
It's so damned cute, just to mess with them your circle the cursor around them and their little eyes follow everywhere SO CUTE! Man, I wouldn't mind having one as a pet, they're lovable balls of fluffy adorableness (I know there's no such word but heck! They're so ) their like fluffy lil drawf hamsters and fat blob of bunny rabbits hahaha, (i've definately lost it) you can get the game on yahoo or popcap
man it's really the sort of game that I play much to the dismay of my warcraft/sim playing brother..
Well the reason being cause (hate to blow my own trumpet/horn/tuba) but ha it's cause I'm uber tres really good at the sort of pattern games (but i suck at everything else, like basketball where i spent time running away from the ball, screaming no no DON"T throw it to meeeeee! NO, DON"TTTTTTT! i can block, steal the ball away from our opponents and throw pretty far but don't expect me to shoot or do anything else with the ball haha now you know why i think basketball's so gay)
ok back to chuzzzzzzzzzzle, it comes with the temporal memory of mine, besides it's my highest skill in IQ quizzes, even got some psych faculty paper which I did (not surprisingly well, had the fastest time! And highest accuracy to match teehe!) don't know why I can't put this to academic use instead I waste it playing arcade games with balls of fluff!
oh I'm such a loserfied freak honest to god I'm such a nerd/geek though people who only come to know me after sec school just think I'm this ditz (doing the AEP bimbo cheer and being highty flighty does little to dispel their deeply entrenched preconceived inaccurate notion that I'm purely a ditz and they think I'm kidding when I tell them I'm such a bookworm-discovery channel-encyclopedia reading nerd) anyhoo the point of bringing up this character trait of me is cause I was happily accumulating all the strange sort of awards 'trophy badges' for chuzzle, I got 7 within the free hour trial of chuzzle oh oh and also highest score for classic chuzzle and was very sadly displaced as champ for speed chuzzle by some MAJOR FREAK oh well you can't have 1st place for both categories
hmm for the trophy badges, I got the 3 combo, 4 combo, speed freak (ha how appropriately named), lock master (it's getting rid of 3 or more locks with a single move)

oh for those wondering temporal memory's hmm how to put it in layman terms it's well visual/association memory based I guess.. It's not a very practical form of memory it's mostly found in.. BABIES!
dot dot dot
ha it's a somewhat inefficient way of remembering things, the reason it's not very common in older children and adults is cause people would mostly store things in their memories and in relatively proper (dare I say logical and coherent) worded structures and ideas as they've the capacity of language as opposed to babies who don't.

it's like you see an apple and your brain tells you hey thay's an apple cause you've stored it in your brain that that's an apple, you have a word for it but to babies and young kids who have not yet learned the names and words for particular things, it's this red shiny thing with this brown stubby short thing and a flat green oval thing with pointy end stick out of the top and well recognize it subsequently as the red shiny thing with a brown stubby short thing and flat green pointed oval thing sticking out from the top not an apple per se..

the thing about this form of memory usual recedes to a minimal portion as you acquire language as your brain switches to more efficient sophisticated and developed storage methods rather than the comparatively 'primitive' one with imagery association, however in my case it's my dominant form of memory, that's a lot are amazed with my ability to remember practically everything that's complete rubbish, for the instance when mark and I were walking through uni back home after Mr and Mrs smith, while we were walking through the usual path I was doing this running commentary that went along the lines of oh at this spot I was tell you this, and at that spot you said this and this, then whilst we were cutting through the grand hall you did this, or I replied to your particular comment with this retort so on and so forth, blah blah blah and he was in awe albeit freaked out at my memory retention and the thing is, it's not even a conscious effort of my part to remember anything, it just.. goes in

pity it doesn't apply to my studies though I can remember all where this section of info that I need is on this particular page at this certain section, at times even paragraphs but for the life of me I can't remember THE INFO ITSELF!! Bloody selective memory that fails me so.

but this proves all the more that i really do look at the world with child like wonder

and take it all in like a wee little kiddie

19:36

Sigh, the econometrics exam was .. Yeah basically it was "..."
the past few nights I was slowly gaining confidence in the subject, spent hours pouring over 4 textbooks including howell's fundermental stats which is pure genius, if you're ever have problems trying to understand the basics of stats, he's the guy you should be going to for help, miracle worker!
you know how exam revision test papers given by your teacher should be fair gauge of the actual paper you're gonna die sitting for? an indicator on the format and question type that would come out?
BULL! the exam paper was complete bogus crap! out of the 57 questions, 41 were about confidence intervals which has always been the concept that tutors and lecturers harp over all semester and it was understood throughtout the whole cohort that out of the 3 open ended questions worth 50% would be about confidence intervals and what the bloody freaking hell did they give instead? 15/25 marks worth of WRITTEN EXPLANATION FOR ANOVAS IN RELATION TO KEYNESIAN ECONOMICS!! I was cursing and swearing as soon as I flipped to that page during the reading time of the exam, URGH! There was this guy all across the other room upon seeing the question, the f expletive he hissed was clearly audible from where I was sitting
AND WHAT IS UP WITH THE MCQ?? the questions were so lengthy that the worst case was just a one mark multiple choice question was close to half a page long and i'm not even including the options..